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    Hello

    I will start by saying this post will be very long and complicated. I will try to use paragraphing and proper grammar however I have a lot I want to get out of my chest so it will not be in great english. I hope you understand and that this does not put you off answering my questions and concerns. I was not sure where to put this as it could go into Mental health, UCAS etc.... So I will start now...

    In April 2015 while doing my AS I found myself starting to feel anxious. Now this is normal however it got a lot worse before I felt a little better ( I will try do this in chronological order). So In May my exams started and while I was prepared some stuff happened (nothing mitigating) and I under performed. Some other stuff happened in exams but I can not say all because I am worried after posting all of this thread I will be easily identifiable and that won't help me. So half way through the exams I gave up because I felt like I needed to retake the year to go to a university like LSE. I was getting A's and B's in past papers and had all A's and A*'s in GCSE. In the exams though I underperfomed and I know I underperformed due to exam pressure, missing questions, one incident which meant I thought had more time and yes the very lovely unofficial mark schemes on this website. One piece of advice I would like to say is never give up as much of a cliche it is. Try scrape as many UMS as possible and try pull your friends through with you. Anyways I will continue on...

    After giving up I think I may have got mild depression and then did not study for the rest of the exams. I sat the exams (even though I did not want to and even cried to my parents that I've have enough) they still forced me to go as part of good parenting I suppose. So the exams in the second half were ok maybe due to the fact I did not feel pressure and that I had still worked hard in the whole year.

    Sooo I finished all the exams starting suffering anxiety and depression and waited for results day was also moving houses. The process of moving houses was really hard for me but it was an improvement. So results day came and I got mediocre grades and the new location I moved to had 2 colleges one which is good and one which is terrible. The terrible college said I could retake the year but the good one said these grades are OK and you can go into a Russell group university if you work hard with some retakes in certain modules. I did not tell them about my circumstances about how I started feeling really anxious and depressed and what not. Having moved houses and location I did not want to go to the terrible college and collectively I was advised to go to the 'good college'. Note I covered up my feelings to everyone while they could see I was depressed I was always stubborn in saying I am fine...

    So I started the next year and I was just so stressed, depressed and anxious you name it I couldn't concentrate.I went to lesson and I understood the content most of the time. Sometimes I couldn't because I was tense and at home I just used to think and didn't practicse making me fall behind. This made me feel even worse and I saw my new GP. Sorry for making this long but I have many questions and I need to paint the full story. So the new GP was awful compared to my last one, had long queue's and when recommended to a clinic the process was horrible. (Stupid Tory government making the NHS so bad... Austeirty is the reason we voted out but I will not get into that.)

    Things got really bad where I just used to cry in my bed. Stay in bed. Not go to school (Attendance 60%). My family were really supportive but I felt like I had let them down and my parents even started crying looking at that state I had become. I then tried to hold my emotions but I was physically drained. The work load from school, relationships, UCAS everything was just working against me. I did not understand what I had done to deserve this and started feeling sorry for myself. Things got even more worse. It was like a spiral and I couldn't get out of this spiral. The days I did force myself to go to school made things force because I was falling behind and the teachers were questioning why I was away so much. I was an external student so they did not fully understand me. I was never rude to them and they considered me a polite, driven boy and had heard great things from my previous school. I just couldn't express myself to them and make them understand what I was going through as they helped me a lot and I did not want to disturb them more.

    They gave me really good predicted grades and references from my previous school. I was predicted quite well compared to my peers causing some jealousy but I was generally like by all people. I however applied really high got some rejections and some offers. Sorry If I am not making this clear but this is around the December 2015 and January 2016 mark. One teacher did not like my choices and did not like the fact that me an external student got such good predicted grades. They talked about how it was deceiving universities and giving the school a bad name. Furthermore universities can see past this. That teacher practically gave me a *******ing. Now I don't blame them as they don't really know me and I did not do myself any favors expressing how I feel.

    So after I sent UCAS application I got 3 rejections and I started feeling worse and worse. This was when around Febuary- March and the process of seeing the clinic and assessments was draining me . I just couldn't continue and I was feeling so exhausted. Everyone could see it even the general public. When walking anywhere I would constantly get asked are you ok there? I did get 2 offers from 2 good universities but I wasn't going to get the grades so it didn't help my confidence much . The school tried helping me and I am grateful to them and in no way do I blame the school for my failure. I sat the exams this summer but I know I have done awful. From March I was seeing the clinic but it was really organised. I found it hard even to talk to therapists and was unsure of the whole process. It has been nearly a year. I got diagnosed with Generalised anxiety disorder and moderate depression.

    This is getting really long and I am missing some pieces out so I will try finish this quickly and add more in the next posts...
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    So like I mentioned I had some bad experiences in my previous exams and due to the anxiety these ones went bad as well as bad attendance etc etc. I still find it hard explaining to people what generalised anxiety disorder is and depression. It is really hard for people to understand and for me to explain it to them. I told my school but when telling them I think I came across as an idiot. They were very sympathic. Generally I would worry about everything like writing the candiate number black ink calculator / the lid etc invigilators peering over my shoulder. Now like I said these are common problems for everyone but generalised anxiety order is when you can not stop these things and I find it embarrassing telling people this so they can not support me. Another example is when I was walking in the airport and I did not take off my shoes and the women started shouting at me. I found it terribly hard to control myself in the airport due to the recent events.

    I am coming to terms with my mental health illness and trying to have a never give up attitude. I have great family and friends who are really supportive and with in these times. I am grateful to God for what I have. I am in the process of improving myself and educating myself. I just felt the need to let this out and now ask for some advice.
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    Edit: I am the OP and so is the other post I am not used to using anon...

    This will be my final post and will then answer any questions. There are some things I changed so I do not give myself away fully away. I will maybe PM people who respond to this thread which I am now doubting as I have made it so long... Firstly I am in the process of organising myself appointments with talking therapies. I phoned them twice however once they had a data problem and once I couldn't receive their call. They just seem to want to get people off their list and have policies like if you miss an appointment (I didn't I only missed the call which is fine) you have to wait 6 months. I do not understand why they have policies like this when mental health patients often find it so hard to express themselves. I am feeling a lot better at this moment in time but I think I should still visit them as I have a lot on my head.

    I have seen other posts here talking about depression and would just like to say continue on fighting. Never give up. I myself felt suicidal and suffered but I feel like I am on the road to recovery. You have to fight this and things will get better. One problem I think is having been in a similiar scenario is the sufferer think no-one understands. Likewise with someone has their heart broken there are 7 billion people in the world most people won't understand I agree but you can get help. I would recommend you seeing a GP and you ask for help constantly. It is a long tiring process and quite a bad one like I mentioned above but you need to help yourself before others can help you.

    Now to the questions:

    1) I am thinking of sitting the new specification for Chemistry AQA if anyone sits this can they give some insight to this. I will in the summer have a grade for an A-Level so if I sit the new spec will I have 2 chemistry grades?
    2)I have mitigating cirumstances Shall I let my universities know just in case I get close to my grades (highly doubt it).
    3)I did not want to ask my school as they did so much for me but can I apply for extra time in exams if so how?
    4)Can anyone help me understanding foundation years as they seem a bit of a mystery for me


    Thank you and well done for reading through all of this... if you have any questions please do ask
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Edit: I am the OP and so is the other post I am not used to using anon...

    This will be my final post and will then answer any questions. There are some things I changed so I do not give myself away fully away. I will maybe PM people who respond to this thread which I am now doubting as I have made it so long... Firstly I am in the process of organising myself appointments with talking therapies. I phoned them twice however once they had a data problem and once I couldn't receive their call. They just seem to want to get people off their list and have policies like if you miss an appointment (I didn't I only missed the call which is fine) you have to wait 6 months. I do not understand why they have policies like this when mental health patients often find it so hard to express themselves. I am feeling a lot better at this moment in time but I think I should still visit them as I have a lot on my head.

    I have seen other posts here talking about depression and would just like to say continue on fighting. Never give up. I myself felt suicidal and suffered but I feel like I am on the road to recovery. You have to fight this and things will get better. One problem I think is having been in a similiar scenario is the sufferer think no-one understands. Likewise with someone has their heart broken there are 7 billion people in the world most people won't understand I agree but you can get help. I would recommend you seeing a GP and you ask for help constantly. It is a long tiring process and quite a bad one like I mentioned above but you need to help yourself before others can help you.

    Now to the questions:

    1) I am thinking of sitting the new specification for Chemistry AQA if anyone sits this can they give some insight to this. I will in the summer have a grade for an A-Level so if I sit the new spec will I have 2 chemistry grades?
    2)I have mitigating cirumstances Shall I let my universities know just in case I get close to my grades (highly doubt it).
    3)I did not want to ask my school as they did so much for me but can I apply for extra time in exams if so how?
    4)Can anyone help me understanding foundation years as they seem a bit of a mystery for me


    Thank you and well done for reading through all of this... if you have any questions please do ask
    Hey there I'm not going to say 'i'm so sorry that you went through so much' or anything along those lines. Rather; well done! You've come a lot further than many people I know, many dropped out of school and worse, so right off the bat you're already better than loads of people!

    Firstly, visit a GP and get yourself officially diagnosed (if you haven't already). One of my friends gets panic attacks and has anxiety and got diagnosed officially.
    After that you can talk to your school (do they have an exams officer? if not just have a word with a teacher or get your parents to call in) and they will usually get you an extra 25% time.
    Foundation years are what they sound like, its essentially an extra year of university if you dont quite meet the grades you would need for your desired area of study. You take a foundation year before you start your actual degree to build up the base knowledge you need for the degree.
    Call up your universities and talk it through with them. They can be a lot more understanding than you'd expect.

    best of luck
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    Hi I think you do need to continue to see your GP and hopefully you can find a solution on how to deal with this mental illness. I myself don't know about generalized anxiety disorder so you definitely need to speak to someone professional and to your parents and so therefore you can continue to receive the best support every day!!!
    Also about missing your uni offer, it may not seem like this now but it may be for the best!!! I feel from reading your post that you need a year out just to take a break from all this stress and to see your GP so that you can use this year to help find a solution to your mental illness. It might be the hardest year for you mentally but it may help you in the long run!!
    For the next year there is an option of retaking exams but would that be best? I would talk to your parents and teachers about this and what to do.
    Im sorry if I havent been of much help xxx - if you want any others feel free to pm me!!
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    I forgot to say this - well done you have come further than most and if you need any more advice I am more thann happy to help
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    I am sorry I didnt read you last post but here is what I have to say.

    1) I am not too sure how grading actually works sorry Plus I dont sit the new spec but I can help with some of the content
    2) I would definitely phone your unis - they may be really understanding of your condition. Remember the worst that can happen is they don't understand but if you don't try youll never know so it's definitely worth a try.
    3) I have 25% extra time for exams as well but I think you should ask your school if you are eligible for it. Again I dont know how extra time is allocated but I think to apply for extra time you need to show the school evidence of your condition maybe by a report from you GP or something to confirm your diagnosis
    4) Foundation years are an extra year of university if you dont quite meet the grades you would need. You take a foundation year before you start your actual degree to build up the base knowledge you need for the degree.

    Good luck PM if you have any questions!!
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    (Original post by kelefi)
    Hey there I'm not going to say 'i'm so sorry that you went through so much' or anything along those lines. Rather; well done! You've come a lot further than many people I know, many dropped out of school and worse, so right off the bat you're already better than loads of people!

    Firstly, visit a GP and get yourself officially diagnosed (if you haven't already). One of my friends gets panic attacks and has anxiety and got diagnosed officially.
    After that you can talk to your school (do they have an exams officer? if not just have a word with a teacher or get your parents to call in) and they will usually get you an extra 25% time.
    Foundation years are what they sound like, its essentially an extra year of university if you dont quite meet the grades you would need for your desired area of study. You take a foundation year before you start your actual degree to build up the base knowledge you need for the degree.
    Call up your universities and talk it through with them. They can be a lot more understanding than you'd expect.

    best of luck
    Firstly thank you for reading all of this. I wasn't expected many responses due to the length. Its taken me a year to get at this stage and its nothing really its about now working hard and not making excuses. I will not give up no matter what happens I will die trying rather than giving up. I have seen the GP in fact I am going to change the GP to one who I feel more comfortable with. I have a letter showing I am officially diagnosed with this from the NHS. The depression and Generalised anxiety order. The letter also states when it started occurring.

    If I sit my next year as an external student which I am contemplating then who do I see? I am hoping to get a lot out of thread.

    After explaining my situation do you think universities will look at this and think maybe this guy has grit and wants success badly or just some loser who couldn't cope with A-Levels. I tried keeping it short which I didn't do a good job with but I also had problems coming to terms with future jobs prospects religion culture and what not. When being diagnosed I didn't mention things like I felt suicidal because I felt embarrassed but I guess I will talk to Talkingtherapies about that. This year I did not talk to anyone about extra time as I didn't want to use it as an excuse. I know I have made many mistakes but hopefully I will work hard.

    Thank you for responding have a great day
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    (Original post by ninjass)
    Hi I think you do need to continue to see your GP and hopefully you can find a solution on how to deal with this mental illness. I myself don't know about generalized anxiety disorder so you definitely need to speak to someone professional and to your parents and so therefore you can continue to receive the best support every day!!!
    Also about missing your uni offer, it may not seem like this now but it may be for the best!!! I feel from reading your post that you need a year out just to take a break from all this stress and to see your GP so that you can use this year to help find a solution to your mental illness. It might be the hardest year for you mentally but it may help you in the long run!!
    For the next year there is an option of retaking exams but would that be best? I would talk to your parents and teachers about this and what to do.
    Im sorry if I havent been of much help xxx - if you want any others feel free to pm me!!

    Thank you and i am firm believer of whatever happens, happens for a reason. You have been of great help I may pm you later . You seem like a really nice.

    Thank you once again for responding
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Firstly thank you for reading all of this. I wasn't expected many responses due to the length. Its taken me a year to get at this stage and its nothing really its about now working hard and not making excuses. I will not give up no matter what happens I will die trying rather than giving up. I have seen the GP in fact I am going to change the GP to one who I feel more comfortable with. I have a letter showing I am officially diagnosed with this from the NHS. The depression and Generalised anxiety order. The letter also states when it started occurring.

    If I sit my next year as an external student which I am contemplating then who do I see? I am hoping to get a lot out of thread.

    After explaining my situation do you think universities will look at this and think maybe this guy has grit and wants success badly or just some loser who couldn't cope with A-Levels. I tried keeping it short which I didn't do a good job with but I also had problems coming to terms with future jobs prospects religion culture and what not. When being diagnosed I didn't mention things like I felt suicidal because I felt embarrassed but I guess I will talk to Talkingtherapies about that. This year I did not talk to anyone about extra time as I didn't want to use it as an excuse. I know I have made many mistakes but hopefully I will work hard.

    Thank you for responding have a great day
    When you mean who do you see what do you mean by that? Someone to help you with your work or with your condition?
    I really can't say for certain what your unis will say about this but again you can only try and see what happens. Maybe your unis will understand

    Its OK - PM me if yoou need more advice
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    (Original post by ninjass)
    When you mean who do you see what do you mean by that? Someone to help you with your work or with your condition?
    I really can't say for certain what your unis will say about this but again you can only try and see what happens. Maybe your unis will understand

    Its OK - PM me if yoou need more advice
    Regarding extra time.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Regarding extra time.
    To apply for it you need to confirm your diagnosis and show the school evidence, e.g. a Gp report. So your GP should be able to help
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    anymore advice ?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Firstly thank you for reading all of this. I wasn't expected many responses due to the length. Its taken me a year to get at this stage and its nothing really its about now working hard and not making excuses. I will not give up no matter what happens I will die trying rather than giving up. I have seen the GP in fact I am going to change the GP to one who I feel more comfortable with. I have a letter showing I am officially diagnosed with this from the NHS. The depression and Generalised anxiety order. The letter also states when it started occurring.

    If I sit my next year as an external student which I am contemplating then who do I see? I am hoping to get a lot out of thread.

    After explaining my situation do you think universities will look at this and think maybe this guy has grit and wants success badly or just some loser who couldn't cope with A-Levels. I tried keeping it short which I didn't do a good job with but I also had problems coming to terms with future jobs prospects religion culture and what not. When being diagnosed I didn't mention things like I felt suicidal because I felt embarrassed but I guess I will talk to Talkingtherapies about that. This year I did not talk to anyone about extra time as I didn't want to use it as an excuse. I know I have made many mistakes but hopefully I will work hard.

    Thank you for responding have a great day
    Keep on working! Universities will definitely thing you have grit and want success. What universities want is someone who is determined and motivated, and from reading your post all I see is determination. If you want to be an external student, I'd suggest talking to your school. Speak to any teacher you feel comfortable with, maybe get your parents to call in and see what they can do.

    What do you want to study? perhaps I can give you some tips on doing better. Just remember that as long as you stick you your goals and keep on working, everything will fall into place. Universities are surprisingly kind, which ones were you going to call up?
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    bump

    if you cant help just bump this plz
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    bump

    if you cant help just bump this plz
    If you need help just PM me
 
 
 
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