Confused, lost, Muslim Girl, all help and advise would be good

I am the original post owner.
This is legit for all those who are saying they don't think it's real.

I KNOW I have cheated. I know it's bad and I am ashamed but in my eyes I was sleeping with the man I once loved and still loved. It's wrong but it wasn't planned and in secret. Now that he and I both regret it because your right; it wasn't fair as we are both in relationships.

I'm just incredibly sad because I do care about my religion but I fear I won't find a good man like him. I don't even know where to look. I am very western but hopefully that will change one day.

Please don't judge me and give me advise on what is the right thing to do. Thank you

Hi everyone
I'm at an all time low right now and seeking some help and advise to get through this.
I would like to remain anonymous for now, I'm just worried I may know someone on here so need to protect my identity.

Okay here is my story

8 years ago I starting dating a none Muslim guy, I was 17 at the time and he was 21. We dated for 5 years and got so strong. He was my first true love. I dated other men before (Muslim ones and hated it) where as with this guy, I loved him (still do)
Anyways he knew what my family were like, I used to lie all the time to my family, stay at his house everyday and come home at 11, it's like I lived my 5 years with him as a lie to my family.

One day my mother found out, she was hatred towards me, very bitter, told me to forget him and find a Muslim. She cursed him all the time, she hated it. My brothers eventually found out and then 5 years later in the relationship I ended it. During the 4th year dating he did start at looking to convert but it started to get complicated and was questioning things in the religion. It was in the 5th year he said to me he cant do it. He doesn't want to be Muslim. He wants to be accepted for who he is. Then I decided to end things. I was a mess and then 1 year passed and I heard he was dating again. My heart was in pieces. I couldn't breathe when I found out. Total knife in my heart. I started dating to help keep me distracted. I was a mess and yes I dated a none Muslim again to try heal me.

Anyways 2 years have now passed and this month (3weeks ago) I got a message from my ex. It was a song that said he will never forget me.
We exchange emails and caught up! It was nice to hear from him. He is doing so well in his life, owns a Lamborghini, is a business owner and so successful (all happened after we broke up)

He is still in his relationship and so am I.

A few days ago we decided to meet up secretly. One thing lead to another and flame was reignited. We slept with each other, it felt comfortable. But then a few days later we both regretted it as we are both in relationships.

I know what we done was bad, but we both still love each other. It was because I stopped loving him we broke. We stopped because of religion.

Now we Both are confused and we have spoken and agreed that this can be no more. He said we won't work at all, he doesn't want to be a Muslim and he doesn't want my family to disown me. He told me I need to find the right man.

So now I'm here, crying, hating the fact it was my religion that made us not be together.
If religion wasn't a part of it then we would be married by now, had kids and a lovely house.

What do I do?

Family: so mum has been to haaj and has become very religious, she's very culture orientated. She tells me tirelessly that I'm getting old '26 and I need to get married and settle down with a Muslim. My brothers are strong believers too.

What do I do?
Has anyone been in the situation

Thats a truly sad story, dont let religion, family or anything get in the way of true love, if thjs would happen to me i would disown the family for being closed minded, we live in a society where religion should not dictate us and live your life the way you want to nkt to appease those around you. However the favt that you are both in relationships makes this harder. I would move on or wait and see if he changes his mind, and dont sleep with anyone in a relatinship!

She may be Western but that is why I said "if you care about religion", or perhaps you missed that. For a Muslim, if they care about religion, it is rubbish, and especially if she is sleeping about/cheating on people she dates. Your post just seems like a redudent half-rant rather than a critical appraisal of sincere advice, so well done you for helping OP(?)

That's such a *****y thing to be going through and I've known people go through similar things. Falling in love with the wrong person and then religion.

The one thing to ask is, what will make you happy? If you go against religion and marry him and leave your family, will you be happy? And vice versa, will you be happy? There'll be regrets either decision you make but you've got to decide which regret can you live with.

He cheated on his current girlfriend with you and you did the same. Which is wrong as you know and regret but you say love caused you to do it? Maybe it's just lust and the idea that you can't have him which makes it more appealing?

Me, personally, family comes first but think about yourself. Sometimes you have to be selfish and it works out in the long run.

The way I see it, if two people are truly meant to be together, absolutely nothing can stop them. Take of that what you will

You could try distancing yourself from your family first, marry and settle with him, then work back towards coming to good terms with your family. I suppose when it's all died down a bit and they see you're happy, they'll accept it.

This ^^^
How could you do that though?

Thank you

I would never sleep with anyone else. Ever! I know what I done was so wrong but I felt it was right at the moment because it was with the man I genuinely love. I am not those women who go around different men.

I have fear of destroying and losing my family and that I have chosen them over him.

I'm suffering from great heart ache. I was with him during hardship and now the current girlfriend is enjoying all of his success 😒 Which should of been me and I feel sick.

My mind is telling me Islam/ family ... My heart is telling me him.

I hope I can get past this and move forward in my life

Oh like your post was any helpful.

Savage asf. "Stuck in the middle ages"

Slightly bizzare how she singled out Islam as if it's the only one with relationship restrictions. Whilst courtly dating (which hardly ever works) is permissible in many other religions, pre-martial sex is not (and not just in the Abrahamic ones).

Perhaps its because OP is from a Muslim family so it made sense to single out Islam?

" now I'm here, crying, hating the fact it was my religion that made us not be together.
If religion wasn't a part of it then we would be married by now, had kids and a lovely house"

Surely if you believed in religion at all then you'd believe that the hereafter is more important than the worldly life and therefore prioritise it over some guy and a house? It's not your religion if you don't practice it.

Hi everyone
I'm at an all time low right now and seeking some help and advise to get through this.
I would like to remain anonymous for now, I'm just worried I may know someone on here so need to protect my identity.

Okay here is my story

8 years ago I starting dating a none Muslim guy, I was 17 at the time and he was 21. We dated for 5 years and got so strong. He was my first true love. I dated other men before (Muslim ones and hated it) where as with this guy, I loved him (still do)
Anyways he knew what my family were like, I used to lie all the time to my family, stay at his house everyday and come home at 11, it's like I lived my 5 years with him as a lie to my family.

One day my mother found out, she was hatred towards me, very bitter, told me to forget him and find a Muslim. She cursed him all the time, she hated it. My brothers eventually found out and then 5 years later in the relationship I ended it. During the 4th year dating he did start at looking to convert but it started to get complicated and was questioning things in the religion. It was in the 5th year he said to me he cant do it. He doesn't want to be Muslim. He wants to be accepted for who he is. Then I decided to end things. I was a mess and then 1 year passed and I heard he was dating again. My heart was in pieces. I couldn't breathe when I found out. Total knife in my heart. I started dating to help keep me distracted. I was a mess and yes I dated a none Muslim again to try heal me.

Anyways 2 years have now passed and this month (3weeks ago) I got a message from my ex. It was a song that said he will never forget me.
We exchange emails and caught up! It was nice to hear from him. He is doing so well in his life, owns a Lamborghini, is a business owner and so successful (all happened after we broke up)

He is still in his relationship and so am I.

A few days ago we decided to meet up secretly. One thing lead to another and flame was reignited. We slept with each other, it felt comfortable. But then a few days later we both regretted it as we are both in relationships.

I know what we done was bad, but we both still love each other. It was because I stopped loving him we broke. We stopped because of religion.

Now we Both are confused and we have spoken and agreed that this can be no more. He said we won't work at all, he doesn't want to be a Muslim and he doesn't want my family to disown me. He told me I need to find the right man.

So now I'm here, crying, hating the fact it was my religion that made us not be together.
If religion wasn't a part of it then we would be married by now, had kids and a lovely house.

What do I do?

Family: so mum has been to haaj and has become very religious, she's very culture orientated. She tells me tirelessly that I'm getting old '26 and I need to get married and settle down with a Muslim. My brothers are strong believers too.

What do I do?
Has anyone been in the situation