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    My sister met her husband 5 years ago and they where married 2 years later. At first me and him got on great he was like the big brother I never had but since they got married he has been horrible to me. He always finds opportunities to put me down and make me feel crap about myself and I'm starting to get sick of it, I'm actually surprised I've made it this long without snapping. I have told my parents and other family members about it in the past and everyone thinks I'm being stupid except for my grandma who is also starting to dislike him because of the way he is.

    Anyway me, my parents, my two sisters and him recently went on holiday together and because of the way he was with me he made my holiday completely un-enjoyable. My little sister also noticed the way he was with me and she's on my side saying she's starting to dislike him but my parents think I'm being stupid. This holiday had been planned for over a year and I was really looking forward to it but it was completely ruined by him. I feel like he's tried to drive a wedge between me and my family and he's succeeded.

    I feel completely alone. What should I do?
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    Tell your sister who's married to him about your concerns. I have a younger sister aswell and I'd hate it if my husband acted like that towards her. Just have a little chat to your sister, without him there and see what her response is.
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    I've already tried that I did it about 18 months ago and she just didn't listen. It hurts so much that she's my older sister and I can't go to her for help.
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    (Original post by MikePL)
    I've already tried that I did it about 18 months ago and she just didn't listen. It hurts so much that she's my older sister and I can't go to her for help.
    I know this will sound silly but try recording what he says then send it to your sister as evidence since she doesn't believe you? Also, can you give me examples of things what he says to you that is inappropriate..
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    (Original post by Riyaax)
    I know this will sound silly but try recording what he says then send it to your sister as evidence since she doesn't believe you? Also, can you give me examples of things what he says to you that is inappropriate..
    Well my last relationship ended really really badly and since then I've said I won't rush into a relationship so he always calls me gay and queer which completely destroys my confidence. And he says I'm a waste of space and my opinions on things are worthless because I am.
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    Oh wow okay, I hope you can sort things out! Good luck
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    (Original post by Riyaax)
    Oh wow okay, I hope you can sort things out! Good luck
    I hope so too but right now I'm not feeling confident.
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    Wow...that is awful! It would be great if you could get that recorded but it would probably be impossible to have everything cued up at just the right moment to catch him. But, I imagine you're not the only one he's treating like that. Imagine being married to him!!! Ugh - your poor sister! Karma will come
    back to him in some form...it always does. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? Can
    talk to them in general? If so, go and talk to them when you are not feeling emotional about this issue and calmly explain to them what is going on and be prepared to tell them specifics. They may not be able to make him stop but they need to be on your side and hear what you're saying and help you
    come up with a way to respond when he acts out but remember they have their own relationship that
    they have to maintain with your brother in law as he is married to your sister. If you can't talk to them then go to a counselor at school or speak to someone if you have a religious organization. I hope you can resolve this and work things out..
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    (Original post by Hopefully1)
    Wow...that is awful! It would be great if you could get that recorded but it would probably be impossible to have everything cued up at just the right moment to catch him. But, I imagine you're not the only one he's treating like that. Imagine being married to him!!! Ugh - your poor sister! Karma will come
    back to him in some form...it always does. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? Can
    talk to them in general? If so, go and talk to them when you are not feeling emotional about this issue and calmly explain to them what is going on and be prepared to tell them specifics. They may not be able to make him stop but they need to be on your side and hear what you're saying and help you
    come up with a way to respond when he acts out but remember they have their own relationship that
    they have to maintain with your brother in law as he is married to your sister. If you can't talk to them then go to a counselor at school or speak to someone if you have a religious organization. I hope you can resolve this and work things out..
    I have a great relationship with my parents and whenever I've had problems in the past they've always been able to help me but with this they just think I'm being stupid but I know I'm not. I just feel like I am being pushed out of my family by him. As for talking to someone at school that is impossible as I'm 21 working full time but a part time student at night. Things have gotten so bad recently that I've even considered moving out I've got the money to do it so it's something I'm seriously considering.
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    Maybe he's projecting. Would it be possible to just ask him why he's treating you like that? Do it assertively without raising your voice.
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    Well, it's worth talking to your parents again. I think people tend to not listen if the person
    complaining
    is all emotional and caught up in the moment. Approach them when it is a calm time and tell
    them that you'd like to talk to them then share with them what your experiences have been. If you
    have a close relationship with them then they definitely won't think you're being stupid if you are
    calm and prepared with what you want to say. Tell them you're concerned about what they will
    think about you. Again,
    sadly, they may not be able to stop it but at least it would be helpful if you felt they understand what
    is happening.
    As you are 21 it might be helpful for you to seek out professional counseling who can advise you on
    how to respond.... or not respond. You need to get some good advice, better than what you'll find
    here. In the meantime I'd steer clear of your brother in law and just ignore him at family get-
    togethers.
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    **not sure why my tsr is messing up. I didn't type by response like that.
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    (Original post by Hopefully1)
    Well, it's worth talking to your parents again. I think people tend to not listen if the person
    complaining
    is all emotional and caught up in the moment. Approach them when it is a calm time and tell
    them that you'd like to talk to them then share with them what your experiences have been. If you
    have a close relationship with them then they definitely won't think you're being stupid if you are
    calm and prepared with what you want to say. Tell them you're concerned about what they will
    think about you. Again,
    sadly, they may not be able to stop it but at least it would be helpful if you felt they understand what
    is happening.
    As you are 21 it might be helpful for you to seek out professional counseling who can advise you on
    how to respond.... or not respond. You need to get some good advice, better than what you'll find
    here. In the meantime I'd steer clear of your brother in law and just ignore him at family get-
    togethers.
    Thanks for the advice. As for ignoring him at family get togethers that's what I've already started doing.
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    Get some lime and a shovel.
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    Why would you move out? He should move out if he is living with your family... If he insults you, you should insult him back... I am not for these petty arguments but sometimes you need to stand up for yourself. Be like before I get married I want to have my house so I don't have my wife's family that should do the trick.... Really you need to take control of your own relationships. What I personally do is if I don't like a family member is ignore them. Ignore them and if they say anything disrespectful I fight my corner. Every time they end up sorting their attitude out and if they don't well there are many more people in the world. The most important thing you can give someone is your time.
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    OP you made one comment and it wasn't in Anon I think you might quickly want to change that
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Why would you move out? He should move out if he is living with your family... If he insults you, you should insult him back... I am not for these petty arguments but sometimes you need to stand up for yourself. Be like before I get married I want to have my house so I don't have my wife's family that should do the trick.... Really you need to take control of your own relationships. What I personally do is if I don't like a family member is ignore them. Ignore them and if they say anything disrespectful I fight my corner. Every time they end up sorting their attitude out and if they don't well there are many more people in the world. The most important thing you can give someone is your time.
    He doesn't live with us but the way he is being with me and the fact that my parents feel like I'm being stupid makes me want to move out. As for standing up for myself I'm not one who likes conflict but in the times that I have stood up for myself everyone has always gone against me even though he's the one that started it. So I feel as though even when I do fight my corner I've got no one there with me. That's why I feel alone.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    He doesn't live with us but the way he is being with me and the fact that my parents feel like I'm being stupid makes me want to move out. As for standing up for myself I'm not one who likes conflict but in the times that I have stood up for myself everyone has always gone against me even though he's the one that started it. So I feel as though even when I do fight my corner I've got no one there with me. That's why I feel alone.

    IDK maybe my advice isn't good depends on your situation. See a counselor maybe?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    IDK maybe my advice isn't good depends on your situation. See a counselor maybe?
    I might consider that or talking to a friend who doesn't really know my family.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My sister met her husband 5 years ago and they where married 2 years later. At first me and him got on great he was like the big brother I never had but since they got married he has been horrible to me. He always finds opportunities to put me down and make me feel crap about myself and I'm starting to get sick of it, I'm actually surprised I've made it this long without snapping. I have told my parents and other family members about it in the past and everyone thinks I'm being stupid except for my grandma who is also starting to dislike him because of the way he is.

    Anyway me, my parents, my two sisters and him recently went on holiday together and because of the way he was with me he made my holiday completely un-enjoyable. My little sister also noticed the way he was with me and she's on my side saying she's starting to dislike him but my parents think I'm being stupid. This holiday had been planned for over a year and I was really looking forward to it but it was completely ruined by him. I feel like he's tried to drive a wedge between me and my family and he's succeeded.

    I feel completely alone. What should I do?
    Solution is obvious.

    Flaming bag of sh*t on his doorstep.
 
 
 
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