Jokes so bad, they're kinda funny

A man goes into Tesco one day and is enraged to find his wife walking around hand-in-hand with another man. He leaves, though decides not to confront his wife about this, and just to make sure, he keeps returning for several weeks at the same time each week and, sure enough, finds her holding hands with this unknown man every time.

The man can take no more and begins drinking in his local at every opportunity, and one evening he strikes up conversation with a bloke called Arti. He tells him the story and Arti says that he will do her over in Tesco. The man asks about a fee and Arti tells him that he loves to kill people and will accept a token fee of a pound. He describes his wife to Arti: she always wears a long beige coat and has short, blonde hair.

The deal is done and the place is set to Tesco on Friday lunchtime. Arti awaits their arrival and follow them around the shop for a while and then pounces on them, strangling them both with his bare hands.

As Arti runs out of the shop two security guards tackle him to the ground and wait for the police. He is caught and tried for murder and found guilty. The headline in the paper the next day read:

ARTI CHOKES TWO FOR A POUND AT TESCO Boom, Boom!

Can anyone else do any worse? Post your worst jokes here! :redface:

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1

Mr White

How do you kill a circus?

Go for the juggler.

Reply 2

musicman

Mr White

How do you kill a circus?

Go for the juggler.

I don't get that one! Could you explain?

Jugular vein?

musicman

I don't get that one! Could you explain?

It must be bad.

Reply 5

Chicken

What's green and hard?

A frog with a knife!

(As told to me by Mr White :tongue:

)

Reply 6

Curiosity

Anybody hear about the blonde tap dancer? She fell down the sink.

(No, I have nothing against blonde people, and don't go starting a 'blonde jokes' thread.)

Reply 7

musicman

Acaila

Jugular vein?

oooh right :rolleyes:

Reply 8

musicman

Q: A blonde and a brunette both jump of a cliff. Which hits the ground first?

A: The brunette: the blonde has to stop off and ask for directions!

Sorry couldn't resist!!! :wink: