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    I'm not sure if this is in the right forum and I guess I should give some academic background to this question. I got 11a*s at gcse and 43/45 on my ib diploma and have met my offer for a top Russel Group Uni. However, I don't know if I want to go to university anymore. The past two years doing the IB has completely destroyed my health. In the first year I had really bad bulimia/ binge eating disorder and depression and I guess my body is more sensitive than others as I have had shingles, candida infections etc since my ed (sorry this is turning into my medical history). It meant I had to catch up on all of IB in the second year (I got around 32 in my first year mocks). I have tried everything I can to heal myself the natural way from following various diets, cutting out processed foods etc but nothing seems to be working. I'm not sure if I can cope with these health issues whilst doing such a stressful course at university; in essence I don't think I have what it takes. On one hand I feel like by taking a gap year and deferring my entry just to focus on repairing my health and saving up some money for university would be really beneficial- but my mum doesn't support this and tells me all my problems are in my head (they're not I've been diagnosed by professionals). On the other hand I feel like I'd want to go straight into an apprenticeship as I actually really like taking an active part in doing things and I learn the best by doing so (I know everyone hates revising but I literally have problems sitting down for more than 30 minutes and it makes me insanely unhappy). My mum would definitely not even entertain the second idea. I'm just really confused as to what to do. I'm not sure if I'm wasting all my hard work and opportunities but I also think it's important to acknowledge that university isn't for everyone and right now I don't think it's for me. I guess I just need some advice since I can't talk to anyone in rl without seeming ungrateful.
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    (Original post by TheGirlEnchanted)
    I'm not sure if this is in the right forum and I guess I should give some academic background to this question. I got 11a*s at gcse and 43/45 on my ib diploma and have met my offer for a top Russel Group Uni. However, I don't know if I want to go to university anymore. The past two years doing the IB has completely destroyed my health. In the first year I had really bad bulimia/ binge eating disorder and depression and I guess my body is more sensitive than others as I have had shingles, candida infections etc since my ed (sorry this is turning into my medical history). It meant I had to catch up on all of IB in the second year (I got around 32 in my first year mocks). I have tried everything I can to heal myself the natural way from following various diets, cutting out processed foods etc but nothing seems to be working. I'm not sure if I can cope with these health issues whilst doing such a stressful course at university; in essence I don't think I have what it takes. On one hand I feel like by taking a gap year and deferring my entry just to focus on repairing my health and saving up some money for university would be really beneficial- but my mum doesn't support this and tells me all my problems are in my head (they're not I've been diagnosed by professionals). On the other hand I feel like I'd want to go straight into an apprenticeship as I actually really like taking an active part in doing things and I learn the best by doing so (I know everyone hates revising but I literally have problems sitting down for more than 30 minutes and it makes me insanely unhappy). My mum would definitely not even entertain the second idea. I'm just really confused as to what to do. I'm not sure if I'm wasting all my hard work and opportunities but I also think it's important to acknowledge that university isn't for everyone and right now I don't think it's for me. I guess I just need some advice since I can't talk to anyone in rl without seeming ungrateful.
    Hi

    I would recommend taking a gap year. There is no point going to do something if you are not so keen on it and getting a debt. The second seems better and you can go to university in a year or two.There is no rush. As for your mother you need to tell her it is your life. BTW well done on getting good grades while going through tough times. You are in a great position
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    You're not ungrateful! And your mum is not being supportive right now. She's wrong to tell you your problems are in your head. Unfortunately some parents & people have no understanding of emotional, mental (and physical) well being and its importance for us all... You're not ungrateful and it's not "in your head". Many people struggle with these things.

    I think it sounds like you know you don't want to go to university, at least not this year. Don't force yourself to do something you don't want to do. It is not okay to be guilt tripped into doing university. Many many people don't go to university at all, and many people also take gap years before going. A family member of mine had to stop university halfway through her 2nd year because she was too stressed it was making her ill. She went back the next year as she wanted to. I have a few friends who have not gone to university. One of them did a kind of work apprenticeship and they're very happy with their decision. I myself am also still deciding whether to go or not. What I am trying to say is, it is up to the individual.

    Do what you are comfortable with, and listen to your body. If you need time to heal your family should support that.
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    I should add, I also get tired of some of my family members & parents friends saying "so what are your plans?" "No university?" blablabla! I realise their intentions might be good, but that sometimes seems to be the only thing they want to talk to me about, as if life only revolves around that grr! It is very annoying but I mostly just let it go over my shoulder. It is my life not theirs & they don't know my plans or what I want in life, nor do they have a right to judge.
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    Take a gap year sweet Youd much rather get better and have an awesome time at uni than go to uni and drop out.
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    Thanks so much everyone for your replies! I think I will definitely take a gap year as I don't think I can take the stress of starting uni now as I really think I would end up dropping out. I think it's just the norm amongst my peers to go into university straight away and everyone is saying how prepared I would be etc. But I think it's time to listen to what I want/need. Thank you all for your advice and help
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    (Original post by TheGirlEnchanted)
    Thanks so much everyone for your replies! I think I will definitely take a gap year as I don't think I can take the stress of starting uni now as I really think I would end up dropping out. I think it's just the norm amongst my peers to go into university straight away and everyone is saying how prepared I would be etc. But I think it's time to listen to what I want/need. Thank you all for your advice and help
    Good Luck!
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    (Original post by TheGirlEnchanted)
    I'm not sure if this is in the right forum and I guess I should give some academic background to this question. I got 11a*s at gcse and 43/45 on my ib diploma and have met my offer for a top Russel Group Uni. However, I don't know if I want to go to university anymore. The past two years doing the IB has completely destroyed my health. In the first year I had really bad bulimia/ binge eating disorder and depression and I guess my body is more sensitive than others as I have had shingles, candida infections etc since my ed (sorry this is turning into my medical history). It meant I had to catch up on all of IB in the second year (I got around 32 in my first year mocks). I have tried everything I can to heal myself the natural way from following various diets, cutting out processed foods etc but nothing seems to be working. I'm not sure if I can cope with these health issues whilst doing such a stressful course at university; in essence I don't think I have what it takes. On one hand I feel like by taking a gap year and deferring my entry just to focus on repairing my health and saving up some money for university would be really beneficial- but my mum doesn't support this and tells me all my problems are in my head (they're not I've been diagnosed by professionals). On the other hand I feel like I'd want to go straight into an apprenticeship as I actually really like taking an active part in doing things and I learn the best by doing so (I know everyone hates revising but I literally have problems sitting down for more than 30 minutes and it makes me insanely unhappy). My mum would definitely not even entertain the second idea. I'm just really confused as to what to do. I'm not sure if I'm wasting all my hard work and opportunities but I also think it's important to acknowledge that university isn't for everyone and right now I don't think it's for me. I guess I just need some advice since I can't talk to anyone in rl without seeming ungrateful.
    At the end of the day your mum shouldn't be dictating such major choices about your future. If you think you won't be able to deal with uni atm, deferring by a year is not going to be the end of the world. Good luck.
 
 
 
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