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my boyfriend and best friend are way too friendly... Watch

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    My best friend and now boyfriend lived together in 1st year of uni. He liked her, they used to watch films together after a night out or on a comedown. However, she rejected him, although she did admit she enjoyed flirting with him.

    4 years later. I met my boyfriend as my best friend, him and another girl moved in a houseshare together. He liked me the moment he first met me- early january. And after 3 months of getting to know each other we are in a relationship.

    The only problem is she is way too friendly with him. She always sits in his lap, play fights with him and when on drugs sends him endless messages. He works in another town so stays at his parents 3 nights a week, when he`s home she always messages him saying he`s missing out/ why are you not home. A couple of times when he`s been at my place she`s been annoyed at him for spending time with me.

    Also, when it`s us 3, they talk for ages and I feel really left out. They have a lot in common, and I don`t...
    And now when it`s me and my best friend, she constantly says bad things about him. But when it`s us three it`s like they are unseperable.

    I don`t know what to do! I absolutely love him and because we are so different we are learning so much from each other. My best friend has a history of leading guys on which I didn`t mind in the past, but now it bothers me as it`s my boyfriend that`s the guy! :-(

    Any suggestions?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My best friend and now boyfriend lived together in 1st year of uni. He liked her, they used to watch films together after a night out or on a comedown. However, she rejected him, although she did admit she enjoyed flirting with him.

    4 years later. I met my boyfriend as my best friend, him and another girl moved in a houseshare together. He liked me the moment he first met me- early january. And after 3 months of getting to know each other we are in a relationship.

    The only problem is she is way too friendly with him. She always sits in his lap, play fights with him and when on drugs sends him endless messages. He works in another town so stays at his parents 3 nights a week, when he`s home she always messages him saying he`s missing out/ why are you not home. A couple of times when he`s been at my place she`s been annoyed at him for spending time with me.

    Also, when it`s us 3, they talk for ages and I feel really left out. They have a lot in common, and I don`t...
    And now when it`s me and my best friend, she constantly says bad things about him. But when it`s us three it`s like they are unseperable.

    I don`t know what to do! I absolutely love him and because we are so different we are learning so much from each other. My best friend has a history of leading guys on which I didn`t mind in the past, but now it bothers me as it`s my boyfriend that`s the guy! :-(

    Any suggestions?
    i understand ur problem, and i think think u should try to talk to ur best friend about ur feelings, and if she does say and things about him, then maybe she is just a protective friend, who does not want her friend to get hurt.

    Hope this helps, if not then you can ask me for more advice
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    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My best friend and now boyfriend lived together in 1st year of uni. He liked her, they used to watch films together after a night out or on a comedown. However, she rejected him, although she did admit she enjoyed flirting with him.

    4 years later. I met my boyfriend as my best friend, him and another girl moved in a houseshare together. He liked me the moment he first met me- early january. And after 3 months of getting to know each other we are in a relationship.

    The only problem is she is way too friendly with him. She always sits in his lap, play fights with him and when on drugs sends him endless messages. He works in another town so stays at his parents 3 nights a week, when he`s home she always messages him saying he`s missing out/ why are you not home. A couple of times when he`s been at my place she`s been annoyed at him for spending time with me.

    Also, when it`s us 3, they talk for ages and I feel really left out. They have a lot in common, and I don`t...
    And now when it`s me and my best friend, she constantly says bad things about him. But when it`s us three it`s like they are unseperable.

    I don`t know what to do! I absolutely love him and because we are so different we are learning so much from each other. My best friend has a history of leading guys on which I didn`t mind in the past, but now it bothers me as it`s my boyfriend that`s the guy! :-(

    Any suggestions?
    Talk to them both
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    that's bare disrespectful of your friend to do.



    first of all i'd have a word with your boyfriend and tell him how uncomfortable you feel about his and your friend's relationship. if he's a decent boyfriend he'd listen and would try not to make you feel that way in future.

    then i'd have a chat with your friend about how disrespectful she's acting; ask her to stop being so into with your boyfriend. he's your boyfriend, not hers. There's a boundary and she's crossed it multiple times.



    Rah, you're way too timid. If this was me I'd have had a proper serious chat with my friend from the moment she dared to plant her ass on his lap.
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    Agree with above you have to talk to both, but be thoughtful how you approach it.

    Its all very well saying you absolutely love him but he doesnt seem to be showing the same kind of devotion or respect.

    He's an idiot not to appreciate how the messinga round makes you feel. Just in case he doesnt realise then you cna tell him, but just indicate you find it uncomfortable when he behaves like that and you are ment to be the one he is dating. See if he cares enough to make a change of his behaviour. If he doesnt change then you have your answer. Dont make a drama of it, just dump him and find someone you are more compatible with. 3 months is no time at all.

    Your friend appears to be playing a power game and testing out her own atraction. She likes to show you its her he wants and she can manipulate him. Again you have to decide whether you are prepared to go up against her. I wouldnt fight over the bf, maybe take her up on a few things like no need to **** him off, but you are in danger of looking jealous and insecure. Your bf need to make a choice and show some balls.

    You need to be assertive without looking like a loon.
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    Well, she is obviously toxic ......so I would get rid of her.

    The question is what your bf is like and whether you think he will cheat or has cheated.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My best friend and now boyfriend lived together in 1st year of uni. He liked her, they used to watch films together after a night out or on a comedown. However, she rejected him, although she did admit she enjoyed flirting with him.

    4 years later. I met my boyfriend as my best friend, him and another girl moved in a houseshare together. He liked me the moment he first met me- early january. And after 3 months of getting to know each other we are in a relationship.

    The only problem is she is way too friendly with him. She always sits in his lap, play fights with him and when on drugs sends him endless messages. He works in another town so stays at his parents 3 nights a week, when he`s home she always messages him saying he`s missing out/ why are you not home. A couple of times when he`s been at my place she`s been annoyed at him for spending time with me.

    Also, when it`s us 3, they talk for ages and I feel really left out. They have a lot in common, and I don`t...
    And now when it`s me and my best friend, she constantly says bad things about him. But when it`s us three it`s like they are unseperable.

    I don`t know what to do! I absolutely love him and because we are so different we are learning so much from each other. My best friend has a history of leading guys on which I didn`t mind in the past, but now it bothers me as it`s my boyfriend that`s the guy! :-(

    Any suggestions?


    She's not a good friend. And he's not a good boyfriend if he's indulging her with this behaviour.

    Talk to her about it, talk to him about it, if they both react badly, belittle your concerns, or aren't prepared to help make you feel more included, make sure you get away from them.

    Your friend seems toxic - the whole leading on guys, even the boyfriends of her so-called best friend is a massive red flag. If she's aware of how she's acting towards your boyfriend, she's either incredibly oblivious or she's simply not a friend.

    You also seem to be under the impression that your boyfriend is being led on. That shouldn't be the case. There should be no room for him being 'led on', as you're supposed to be the relationship goal he's reached, not your 'best friend'. That's another massive red flag.

    Do not let yourself become a third wheel. If this persists, they are not worth your time, at least not in the long run.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    The only problem is she is way too friendly with him. She always sits in his lap, play fights with him and when on drugs sends him endless messages.
    That is not normal, you should not allow that if you're his girlfriend.
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    Agree with above you have to talk to both, but be thoughtful how you approach it.

    Its all very well saying you absolutely love him but he doesnt seem to be showing the same kind of devotion or respect.

    He's an idiot not to appreciate how the messinga round makes you feel. Just in case he doesnt realise then you cna tell him, but just indicate you find it uncomfortable when he behaves like that and you are ment to be the one he is dating. See if he cares enough to make a change of his behaviour. If he doesnt change then you have your answer. Dont make a drama of it, just dump him and find someone you are more compatible with. 3 months is no time at all.

    Your friend appears to be playing a power game and testing out her own atraction. She likes to show you its her he wants and she can manipulate him. Again you have to decide whether you are prepared to go up against her. I wouldnt fight over the bf, maybe take her up on a few things like no need to **** him off, but you are in danger of looking jealous and insecure. Your bf need to make a choice and show some balls.

    You need to be assertive without looking like a loon.
    (Original post by DorianGrayism)
    Well, she is obviously toxic ......so I would get rid of her.

    The question is what your bf is like and whether you think he will cheat or has cheated.
    Yes I spoke to him and he now understands, especially last night when we had a date night and she was bombarding him with endless texts/ messages to go out with her.

    I spoke to her about it too, and she got angry and is now not speaking to me. hmm
 
 
 
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