Relapse over my ex

You've asked a few questions in here, so I'll try to answer them (but do remember that I'm a woman so perhaps not the best one to guess what goes through a man's mind).

Okay, so firstly, you ask if it was all a lie and if he really felt for you. It looks to me like he did feel emotionally for you, but here is where you two differ - you made the decision to leave him when he was depressed. It's understandable, yes, but to him it would seem like you're not one to stand by his side through thick and thin. He probably had this in the back of his mind, even whilst deciding to give it another go. You didn't mention here whether the second break up was your choice or not, but if it was yours (even just partly yours) - you would have reinforced the idea that you give up easily.

Cutting you out of his life would indicate actually that you meant a great deal to him, and that it is too painful for him to continue contact with you. No one will keep putting up with continual rejection, even if they loved that person a lot. If you thought he loved you than he probably did, but men get hurt too. It may be possible to revive the relationship, maybe not, but you can learn from this. If you truly love someone then fight for them, even when it gets hard, stick by their side and show them that you can stay through the bad times as well as the good.

Just do not blame him if he chooses to keep away from you now, it simply means that he's had enough of the heartbreak too.

Ah yes, this is the great difference between how man thinks compared to how a woman does. I get what you're saying and what you wanted from him, I've even had the same kinda fights within my own relationship. If this guy is similar to my own bf, he most likely never needed much interaction at all to feel satisfied. When men go through depression, they can be irritable, and withdraw into themselves. And yeah, going out with friends may be just what he needed as with you he has to connect with his emotions, something that can be stressful when he is depressed. With friends, it's less one-on-one and he doesn't have to reach within himself to be social. This is the sort of insight I've gained from my own bf, after many long conversations (and arguments). When they are down, they can well appear selfish and isolate themselves and this is so hard for the partner, I know.

Yeah, LDRs are very difficult if both partners are not pulling their weight. You needed his attention and he was not giving you what you needed. The problem is also that men often don't understand, as they need to talk much less than a woman needs to. One of the main problems with LDRs is that typically (ofc there are always exceptions) men tend to find it easier to show love/affection through touch rather than talk (and women do need both, but touch less so). He doesn't really understand you and your needs, as his romantic/intimacy needs are different. It's hard to say exactly what he is feeling now, in his head he may be believing that you were too needy, caused too much drama etc (when it's more a mismatch of needs/expectations between you).

In your position, I think I'd be too hurt to try to continue the relationship after he found someone else, but if you feel deep down that he is who you want, I'd suggest maybe sending him a message. Explain why you acted why you did, how it can be different next time round and how you feel for him. I'd suggest an email/fb message rather than talking to him directly, this'll allow him to spend time and think on it at length rather than feel he's been put on the spot. Ask him to contact you once he decides, and leave the ball in his court. If he loves you enough, he won't resist trying again but if you get no reply, you know it's time to try and move on.