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    I've been with this asian guy (not muslim) for almost 3 years now, and although I asked him several times when is he gonna tell his parents about us, his reply's always been that 'now it's not the right moment, if I tell them, they will disown me, I can't right now, I don't want to ruing everything, let's not think too much about the future, we'll see how things will go, I really wanna stay with you and will do everything I can to stay with you etc etc'. And since he's from an asian family, they also have this habit of arranging marriages and I think it's better to tell them soon, rather than too late.

    I am starting to feel pushy and that it's wrong to ask him this, but I've graduated now, and I want to know if we will have a future, or if I am wasting my time, I might as well move on. He keeps saying I wanna be with you, but he can't even tell his parents he's dating me.

    I know he loves me a lot, he has proven it many times and he's always taken care of me.

    Am I asking for too much/doing something wrong? What should I do? Wait until his visa expires (October) and see if he will stay or just leave, or just tell him now that I can't live like this, hoping that one day he will talk to them?

    Thanks
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've been with this asian guy (not muslim) for almost 3 years now, and although I asked him several times when is he gonna tell his parents about us, his reply's always been that 'now it's not the right moment, if I tell them, they will disown me, I can't right now, I don't want to ruing everything, let's not think too much about the future, we'll see how things will go, I really wanna stay with you and will do everything I can to stay with you etc etc'. And since he's from an asian family, they also have this habit of arranging marriages and I think it's better to tell them soon, rather than too late.

    I am starting to feel pushy and that it's wrong to ask him this, but I've graduated now, and I want to know if we will have a future, or if I am wasting my time, I might as well move on. He keeps saying I wanna be with you, but he can't even tell his parents he's dating me.

    I know he loves me a lot, he has proven it many times and he's always taken care of me.

    Am I asking for too much/doing something wrong? What should I do? Wait until his visa expires (October) and see if he will stay or just leave, or just tell him now that I can't live like this, hoping that one day he will talk to them?

    Thanks
    You aren't doing anything wrong,wanting to know what's going on at this point in a relationship is perfectly reasonable.
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    I understand the whole Asian family circumstances, but you have every right to want to know if you really have a future together, if he really loves you he will tell tell his family but you're right, sooner is better than later, so I think you should still be pressuring him, for your own security.
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    My ex gf did the same thing during the 2 years of our relationship before she came to the conclusion that she simply couldn't face bringing me (a black medical student) home. Like your bf she was very much in love with me and her actions proved it, but she kept delaying telling her parents despite my pleas. Eventually the pressure of hiding me became too much for her so,a month ago, she ended it. The feeling of devastation, betrayal and pain that I still currently feel for being dumped due to me not being Indian is unlike anything I have ever felt before.

    He needs to tell them asap as I really do not wish the same to happen to you. Explain to him that he can't keep delaying forever and that he should not make such a medieval, repulsive racist view of relationships stop him from being with a partner that is genuinely good for him. I'd say give him a couple of months and if he still can't do it then you need to be strong enough to say "I can't do this if you won't tell them". It will save you a lot of heartache. Trust me.
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    Just have sex
 
 
 
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