My younger brother has no respect for me (violent + swearing)

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Anonymous #1
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My brother is now 12 years old and I'm 18, I don't know if it's hormones but nothing can excuse such A-hole behaviour.

We are about to leave for a really long car journey (speaking of which I shouldn't be on tsr but I am so angry), I told him to shower and get dressed, he started swearing at me and kicked me in the stomach (he is stronger than me and taller than me so it actually hurts me and my lower stomach really hurts now ).

The other day he pushed me into the sofa really hard by my neck because I was in his room, so I bit his arm and scratched him to get him to stop and he still wouldn't stop hurting me. It scares me that he thinks it's okay to hurt people like that, especially someone smaller than him.

My mum hardly says anything to him, she often says things like "my son is so strong" and little does she know she is probably raising a disgusting little woman beater.

I told her what he just did and she just got angry with me telling him what to do even though I was trying to help her because a minute ago she was moaning about how we are all not ready yet etc.

HOW DO I GET HIM TO RESPECT ME???
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Anonymous #1
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I'm a girl by the way, if that makes any difference at all even though it shouldn't really. This kind of behaviour should never be tolerated by anyone.
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PrincessBO$$
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#3
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Maybe he is being aggressive cause he has problems at school. Perhaps he is being bullied?
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Farlan
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Personally I would kick his head in but I suppose if he's physically larger and stronger than you that option goes out the window so

Being 12, he probably won't just sit down and talk about it, kids his age usually have to learn the consequences of their actions by experiencing the consequences firsthand, which may not actually affect him for at least a few years when he realises nobody wants to be around him because he's a ****

I reckon your best bet is to genuinely talk to your mother or any kind of older figure who he respects and listens to and tell them to tell him why it's wrong

Honestly if the kid is this much of a ******** in secondary school it won't take long til he gets a good hide in
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Farlan
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(Original post by PrincessBO$$)
Maybe he is being aggressive cause he has problems at school. Perhaps he is being bullied?
I got bullied I still didn't assault girls
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PrincessBO$$
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(Original post by Farlan)
I got bullied I still didn't assault girls
I know. But different people react differently to the same situation. He still has no excuse for what he is doing.
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Vegito
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Lol its kinda funny really. 😂
I think you should get him something he really likes doing. Maybe a video game if he plays and ask him not to hurt you otherwise you wont get him anything next time. Pretty sure that would work. If it doesn't then you can pretty much slam him your self lol. 😂
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1secondsofvamps
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This sounds similar to my brother and he's 12 as well :eek:
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Farlan
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(Original post by PrincessBO$$)
I know. But different people react differently to the same situation. He still has no excuse for what he is doing.
I would say it's worth looking into how he's doing in school and definitely see if he's being bullied but yeah absolutely not an excuse to hit women
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umar39
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#10
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I am all for a positive message but...
Spoiler:
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:whip:
Your brother needs a good telling off
:spank:
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99_Problems
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#11
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You need to have a proper conversation with your mum. I find it hard to believe she would be so nonchalant if you told her your brother physically assaulted you by throwing you into the sofa.

However, he is at a difficult age. Are there any older males in the picture who could sit him down and talk to him man to man? My brother wouldn't listen to my mum or sisters but he listened to them after my uncle had a little chat.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by PrincessBO$$)
Maybe he is being aggressive cause he has problems at school. Perhaps he is being bullied?
No he isn't getting bullied, he just has an attitude problem and lack discipline.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Farlan)
Personally I would kick his head in but I suppose if he's physically larger and stronger than you that option goes out the window so

Being 12, he probably won't just sit down and talk about it, kids his age usually have to learn the consequences of their actions by experiencing the consequences firsthand, which may not actually affect him for at least a few years when he realises nobody wants to be around him because he's a ****

I reckon your best bet is to genuinely talk to your mother or any kind of older figure who he respects and listens to and tell them to tell him why it's wrong

Honestly if the kid is this much of a ******** in secondary school it won't take long til he gets a good hide in
I do want to hurt him sometimes, but then I remember he is my brother at the end if the day.

When I talk to my mum she doesn't seem to take it seriously, my dad encourages us to fight sometimes, it gives him a laugh. I worry about him, I really feel like he isn't being taught to respect others very well.

I'm going to talk to my mum about it though, properly. I'm going to give him the silent treatment for the next 4 hours and god my stomach hurts right now.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by 1secondsofvamps)
This sounds similar to my brother and he's 12 as well :eek:
Doesn't it make you angry! I am furious
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Vegito)
Lol its kinda funny really. 😂
I think you should get him something he really likes doing. Maybe a video game if he plays and ask him not to hurt you otherwise you wont get him anything next time. Pretty sure that would work. If it doesn't then you can pretty much slam him your self lol. 😂
It's honestly not funny, my mum finds it funny. She say "Hahah he is just a kid" (she just said that now). I am so angry.
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sadixx
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#16
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#16
literally just give him a smack
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monkyvirus
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#17
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I would just avoid him. My older brother was like this (tried to break my arm, shoved me into a window, the list goes on) and seriously the only solution, at the time, was to actively avoid him. That might sound like "giving in" but your health and wellbeing is paramount here. Speaking of which, if your stomach pain is severe please see a doctor, you could have internal injuries.

What your brother is doing is domestic abuse. Habitual acts of aggression are an abusive behaviour.

As you're 18, I would move out ASAP. Also try talking to your mum again or perhaps another responsible adult you feel will listen to you. There are also hotlines like Childline 0800 1111 which you can call for confidential advice.

Based on your other comments I am extremely shocked to hear your father encourages this. I came from an abusive home (not just my brother) and you need to get out as soon as possible. Your family is clearly not a healthy place to be
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Odium
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#18
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ngl your brother needs a slap
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1secondsofvamps
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#19
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Doesn't it make you angry! I am furious
I do get angry but there's nothing I can do about it. If I shout at him he starts crying and tell mum then I'll be the one in trouble.

One thing that really annoys me is when he swears and calls me a b1tch he will say it quietly so my mum can't hear it. And if I tell my mum about it she wouldn't believe me
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Anonymous #2
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Can't stand violent little kids who act this way. Where is the discipline?
You need to get your parents to understand your concerns. If they don't condone it, then he's just going to carry on.

You can either be more authoritive in some way and scare the **** out of him. Like.. get him in trouble and have all his favourite things taken away until his behaviour changes, or talk to him about the consequences of violence-threaten to have him sent away to juvenile, that kind of thing.

Or you can stop bothering with him completely. Don't be telling him what to do, don't even speak to him unless you must. He'll soon realise that no one wants to associate with this *****y attitude.
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