Do you think this is cheating/ bad behaviour

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
#1
So I really need help answering this question. I'm a girl and I have a girlfriend (both of us are bisexual). I have found out recently that she is meeting up with a guy friend that she hasn't seen in over a year. And well I have always thought that he fancies her as his text messages hint a lot e.g. Love hearts, kisses, saying how much he cares for her. Well recently I have found out that they are meeting up soon to go to Skegness together, my girlfriend say that it was for a day trip then they guy said it would be best if they slept over. Well next he said that he is going to find a hotel for them. He is paying for everything btw apart from my girlfriends train ticket. Well after this I was a little bit worried but I do trust my girlfriend, he then put in a message 'don't worry I'll choose a double bed'. Now after this I got so mad because I had always thought he liked her. My girlfriend told him that she would like to sleep in a single bed so he said okay. Now after this I wanted to find out if he fancied her or not, so I asked my girlfriend to ask him. And it turns out that he does like her :/ he said he would love to take things further. Now i am so so so worried about the trip they are going together because I don't want him trying anything. My girlfriend keeps saying things like ' I won't let him do anything I love you' but I thought that if she respected the relationship then she wouldn't go on 2 day trip with a guy that fancies her. Now my question is do you think she should go with him still now finding out her friend likes her? Also do u think it's bad that she has accepted and she's going with him? And also could u give me some advice about this please, I am so so worried.
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BWV1007
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#2
Report 4 years ago
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I think it's pretty obvious that the guy doesn't just see her as a friend (or doesn't like to at least), so there is a possibility that he might try something with her. Imo your girlfriend should've said no to sleeping in the same room as him, seeing that she already knows he has feelings for her. It's quite reasonable to feel worried... But I guess if you trust her enough it'll be fine.


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shadowdweller
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#3
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I'm slightly confused by the issue here... if you trust your girlfriend, what does it really matter how he feels about her? She's asked for a single bed, and told you that she won't let him do anything, so it's not like she's the one pushing to share a bed with him etc.

I think if they're been friends for a while, it's not unreasonable for her to want to go on a trip with him, and she shouldn't have to cancel it because of his feelings, which she has no control over. I wouldn't say it's bad she's accepted at all, or that that's something for you to be worried about
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stripystockings
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#4
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Whilst it's clear that he's interested in her, she's shown no signs of being interested in him, and even if the feeling is mutual, that doesn't mean she'll act on it. It all comes down to trust and communication between you and your girlfriend. My girlfriend used to sleep over at a friend's house all the time, and they liked each other. Nothing ever happened, because she loves me, and they respect each other and their choices. I would say not to worry about it, and to trust your girlfriend. She's made it clear she wants to sleep in a single bed, and that she won't let him try anything. That sounds to me like she respects you and your relationship, and values you far more than a one-night stand.
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Anonymous #1
#5
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
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(Original post by shadowdweller)
I'm slightly confused by the issue here... if you trust your girlfriend, what does it really matter how he feels about her? She's asked for a single bed, and told you that she won't let him do anything, so it's not like she's the one pushing to share a bed with him etc.


I think if they're been friends for a while, it's not unreasonable for her to want to go on a trip with him, and she shouldn't have to cancel it because of his feelings, which she has no control over. I wouldn't say it's bad she's accepted at all, or that that's something for you to be worried about
They have barely even been friends, it's not like they are even close. She's never met up with him before and also she only asked for a single bed when I said that it would be weird if it was double. She was gonna sleep in the double even tho she knows he likes her. And she keeps saying things like ' has he got a hotel to be romantic' and other things like that to get me paronoid. She has also said things like ' he's going to see me in my bathing suit' she just randomly says things like this and they way she looks at me when she says it you can tell she's doing it on purpose. Like I don't have a problem with it but she keeps going on about it and sending me things he's putting to her.
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username47781
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#6
Report 4 years ago
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If she loves you she won't do anything with him.
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