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    The christian bible says that children must obey their parents unless their intentions are sinful, but recently i was wondering, do i have to obey my parents if their decisions are wrong but not sinful. Take this for example, there is a child who wants to be a doctor while the father and mother want the child to be a mechanical engineer ( possibly the parents share a strong ambition for mechanical engineering, they want the child to do it and evidently fail to see beyond their own bias) so all the decisions made by the parents, ( mostly in regard to education ) are in pursuit of equipping the child with knowledge and skills relevant to mechanical engineering. The child is sure that they do not want to do this, he/she knows he/she is ambitious about being a doctor and tells the parents, but they do not listen. Even though the parents did not listen, if the child had the chance to define his/her own destiny should he/she follow through with it or obey their parents and do something that he/she evidently did not want to do?
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    (Original post by Paranoid_Glitch)
    The christian bible says that children must obey their parents unless their intentions are sinful, but recently i was wondering, do i have to obey my parents if their decisions are wrong but not sinful. Take this for example, there is a child who wants to be a doctor while the father and mother want the child to be a mechanical engineer ( possibly the parents share a strong ambition for mechanical engineering, they want the child to do it and evidently fail to see beyond their own bias) so all the decisions made by the parents, ( mostly in regard to education ) are in pursuit of equipping the child with knowledge and skills relevant to mechanical engineering. The child is sure that they do not want to do this, he/she knows he/she is ambitious about being a doctor and tells the parents, but they do not listen. Even though the parents did not listen, if the child had the chance to define his/her own destiny should he/she follow through with it or obey their parents and do something that he/she evidently did not want to do?
    Considering this is such a specific example, I'm guessing this is happening to you or a close friend/family member? :holmes:
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    I'm not a christian, but you seem distressed so I'd like to try and help before a true believer can step in and correct all my mistakes...
    It depends on how literally you decide to take every command in the bible, how you interpret the passages you're referring to and which translation of the bible you use (some may replace the word obey with honour etc.). There is also the fact that you're meant to obey God over men, so if you feel it's God's calling to be a doctor then you should do that.

    However I'm at uni becoming a mechanical engineer and it's great!
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    (Original post by Paranoid_Glitch)
    .... if the child had the chance to define his/her own destiny should he/she follow through with it or obey their parents and do something that he/she evidently did not want to do?
    One can and should choose their own career destiny. As soon as you turn 18, you have the legal rights and full weight of the law to help you do just that.

    But it isn't just dreams that will make it happen. There is seriously stiff competition to get into medical school and that means being realistic about the chances based on current and future predicted educational achievement.

    A fall back plan is a very wise idea.

    Perhaps a compromise is in order? i.e. commit to subjects that will satisfy both university entrance requirements for medicine and engineering. Get the required grades for medical school entry and then revisit your options.

    A gap year would see you pass the 18 age threshold where your parents wishes become irrelevant.

    Subjects deemed 'enabling' at A-level are Maths. Physics, Chemistry, Geography, English Literature, History, Biology and modern languages.

    You should be aiming to achieve grade A/A* in three subjects to be in with a chance. But do be realistic about whether you are capable of achieving this or not. Do speak frankly to your teachers and head of year to help you decide whether you should commit to this as a realistic prospect.

    As an aside:

    This be the verse. Philip Larkin


    They **** you up, your mum and dad.
    They may not mean to, but they do.
    They fill you with the faults they had
    And add some extra, just for you.

    But they were ****ed up in their turn
    By fools in old-style hats and coats,
    Who half the time were soppy-stern
    And half at one another's throats.

    Man hands on misery to man.
    It deepens like a coastal shelf.
    Get out as early as you can,
    And don't have any kids yourself.
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    (Original post by Paranoid_Glitch)
    The christian bible says that children must obey their parents unless their intentions are sinful, but recently i was wondering, do i have to obey my parents if their decisions are wrong but not sinful. Take this for example, there is a child who wants to be a doctor while the father and mother want the child to be a mechanical engineer ( possibly the parents share a strong ambition for mechanical engineering, they want the child to do it and evidently fail to see beyond their own bias) so all the decisions made by the parents, ( mostly in regard to education ) are in pursuit of equipping the child with knowledge and skills relevant to mechanical engineering. The child is sure that they do not want to do this, he/she knows he/she is ambitious about being a doctor and tells the parents, but they do not listen. Even though the parents did not listen, if the child had the chance to define his/her own destiny should he/she follow through with it or obey their parents and do something that he/she evidently did not want to do?
    We are not to control another's free will or interrupt it either. Your choice is your choice. Perhaps there is middle ground in this situation?
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    (Original post by Paranoid_Glitch)
    The christian bible says that children must obey their parents unless their intentions are sinful, but recently i was wondering, do i have to obey my parents if their decisions are wrong but not sinful. Take this for example, there is a child who wants to be a doctor while the father and mother want the child to be a mechanical engineer ( possibly the parents share a strong ambition for mechanical engineering, they want the child to do it and evidently fail to see beyond their own bias) so all the decisions made by the parents, ( mostly in regard to education ) are in pursuit of equipping the child with knowledge and skills relevant to mechanical engineering. The child is sure that they do not want to do this, he/she knows he/she is ambitious about being a doctor and tells the parents, but they do not listen. Even though the parents did not listen, if the child had the chance to define his/her own destiny should he/she follow through with it or obey their parents and do something that he/she evidently did not want to do?
    Can I ask you where in the bible it says you can disobey your parents if their intentions are sinful? I don't remember reading that.

    Anyway, I see what you're saying. I think it's important to 'honour your father and mother', as the bible says. I think you can still do this, while opting for medicine rather than engineering. Bear in mind some things though:

    - Your parents will be subsidising/financially carrying you for the entirety of your degree. Contrary to how it might seem, it's not just your degree. They are paying for you. They are investing in your life, so their view of the investment should be respected.

    - It's important to look at the context of the various commands in the bible. I do not want to suggest that 'obey your parents' is not an important command. It's just that, actually, Paul taught it in his letter to the Ephesians. He was speaking to children specifically. In the context, it wasn't a clear 'thou shalt not X' command, but more like a teaching one might give to the young among them. In that case, you can imagine there might be exceptions where it would be acceptable to go against your parents' instructions. One example would be, as you point out, to avoid sin. On the other hand, in Exodus 20 (where the ten commandments are) the commands are clearly concrete. You don't steal. You don't lie. You must honour your father and mother. There's no getting around these rules, whatever the context.

    - finally, be gracious to your parents. If you honestly believe medicine is best for you (I'm a medical student, so I can relate to a passion like that), then make the case calmly to them, showing respect to and taking into account their case. Answer their questions, show that you are serious here. They may still be a little disappointed, but you really can minimise the offence you cause to them if you discuss it with them and make your case. They are your parents - they do want what's best for you. Perhaps they believe that to be engineering. Perhaps they dream of having a child in engineering.

    Be sure to come back and tell us how you get on (please)
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    (Original post by Paranoid_Glitch)
    The christian bible says that children must obey their parents unless their intentions are sinful, but recently i was wondering, do i have to obey my parents if their decisions are wrong but not sinful. Take this for example, there is a child who wants to be a doctor while the father and mother want the child to be a mechanical engineer ( possibly the parents share a strong ambition for mechanical engineering, they want the child to do it and evidently fail to see beyond their own bias) so all the decisions made by the parents, ( mostly in regard to education ) are in pursuit of equipping the child with knowledge and skills relevant to mechanical engineering. The child is sure that they do not want to do this, he/she knows he/she is ambitious about being a doctor and tells the parents, but they do not listen. Even though the parents did not listen, if the child had the chance to define his/her own destiny should he/she follow through with it or obey their parents and do something that he/she evidently did not want to do?
    Hi. Where in the bible does it say that exactly?

    Both in the OT and the NT we read Exodus 20:12/Ephesians 6:1-3
    “Honour your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you

    I find it odd that parents would prefer an engineering career over being a doctor as both are high level careers and very much needed.

    Are the parents Christian and when will the child be 18?
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    Well said Racoon..
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    (Original post by Racoon)
    Hi. Where in the bible does it say that exactly?

    Are the parents Christian and when will the child be 18?
    Well i believe as Christians we are not to sin, so if we were told to sin i think it should not be done no matter who gives the command.
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    By the way the example is hypothetical and not relatable, my parents are actually supportive of the course and career i want to pursue and consistently motivate me to achieve my aspirations. (Course: Computer Science and maybe later on in the future Electrical and/or Electronic engineering. Career: Game development/ Electrical/Electronic Engineer). I am using this example to question obedience, and trying to understand whether everyone should be obligated to be obedient to their parents, no matter the outcome.
 
 
 
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