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    Hey guys!

    I'll try and keep this as short as possible. I was with my ex for about 6 months, I broke up with her in January due to her depression crippling her happiness, her beginning a new full time job and us constantly arguing because of the sheer amount of stress we were both under, I also had a final year of uni to think about, I respected the fact that she wasn't really showing much affection or care for the relationship anymore and made the decision to break up with her, as it simply felt like she was too scared to do it herself. Nevertheless we went to New York together as that trip was already planned and paid for, and the intended on making it the worst experience of my life with constant arguments, no matter how much I tried to make things right, she wasn't having any of it.

    About a month of bickering ensued, I was trying to be the best person I could about it, trying to keep her happy, there was no mud slinging from my side, and see if we could salvage anything to turn it back around in the most mature way possible, however she simply kept arguing with me to the point where we just left it and went no contact. I feel I was a good boyfriend to her, just our personal circumstances got in the way and made it difficult for us to focus on the relationship. We couldn't be friends so we cut all ties with each other and abandoned ship.

    7 months have passed with absolutely no contact, and I was on the verge of finally being over it, i'm speaking to someone new who is genuinely a really awesome girl. But some feelings for this ex still remain, the girl i'm speaking to left to go away to do some volunteering work in Africa for two weeks on Saturday... enter ex girlfriend ringing me at half 3 in the morning whilst i'm drunk on a beach... perfect timing, no?

    She rang me (not drunk) asking if it was true that I was moving close to her hometown for work (the only way she'd know about this is if she'd checked my twitter), to which I said yes, maybe, but also reassured her that I wouldn't be in her way and would try to avoid her as much as I could to prevent anything from happening, to which she replied "no no it's fine I don't mind, it would just be strange if we bumped into each other, that's all", she then burst into tears, told me she missed me and still loves me, and started asking if I was seeing anyone else, she asked this about three times until I gave up and told her that i'm not really yet.

    In response, I asked if she was seeing anyone, to which she replied "no of course i'm not, I haven't even kissed or slept with anyone since we broke up", this came as a total shock to me considering the kind of person she was before we first met, to the point where i'm not sure whether I believe it or not?? She also profusely apologised for everything that had happened and for "being such a ***** to me", to which I just said that i'm over it, it's cool and I don't hate her.

    Anyway, after a 40 min chat and a bit of a catch up I told her that if this is the last I ever hear from her, then I really hope she ends up happy because she deserves it, but said that if she wanted to talk about things properly then the doors open for her to give me a ring in the next few days or so.

    I'm just struggling to know what her motive was, why she said she still loves me and why she hasn't even tried with anyone since? Just wondering if anyone had any kind of idea what's going on here, and whether you think she'll be in contact or not? Or do you think I should just forget it ever happened and move on? Because i'm struggling, so any help would seriously be awesome, cheers for reading!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hey guys!

    I'll try and keep this as short as possible. I was with my ex for about 6 months, I broke up with her in January due to her depression crippling her happiness, her beginning a new full time job and us constantly arguing because of the sheer amount of stress we were both under, I also had a final year of uni to think about, I respected the fact that she wasn't really showing much affection or care for the relationship anymore and made the decision to break up with her, as it simply felt like she was too scared to do it herself. Nevertheless we went to New York together as that trip was already planned and paid for, and the intended on making it the worst experience of my life with constant arguments, no matter how much I tried to make things right, she wasn't having any of it.

    About a month of bickering ensued, I was trying to be the best person I could about it, trying to keep her happy, there was no mud slinging from my side, and see if we could salvage anything to turn it back around in the most mature way possible, however she simply kept arguing with me to the point where we just left it and went no contact. I feel I was a good boyfriend to her, just our personal circumstances got in the way and made it difficult for us to focus on the relationship. We couldn't be friends so we cut all ties with each other and abandoned ship.

    7 months have passed with absolutely no contact, and I was on the verge of finally being over it, i'm speaking to someone new who is genuinely a really awesome girl. But some feelings for this ex still remain, the girl i'm speaking to left to go away to do some volunteering work in Africa for two weeks on Saturday... enter ex girlfriend ringing me at half 3 in the morning whilst i'm drunk on a beach... perfect timing, no?

    She rang me (not drunk) asking if it was true that I was moving close to her hometown for work (the only way she'd know about this is if she'd checked my twitter), to which I said yes, maybe, but also reassured her that I wouldn't be in her way and would try to avoid her as much as I could to prevent anything from happening, to which she replied "no no it's fine I don't mind, it would just be strange if we bumped into each other, that's all", she then burst into tears, told me she missed me and still loves me, and started asking if I was seeing anyone else, she asked this about three times until I gave up and told her that i'm not really yet.

    In response, I asked if she was seeing anyone, to which she replied "no of course i'm not, I haven't even kissed or slept with anyone since we broke up", this came as a total shock to me considering the kind of person she was before we first met, to the point where i'm not sure whether I believe it or not?? She also profusely apologised for everything that had happened and for "being such a ***** to me", to which I just said that i'm over it, it's cool and I don't hate her.

    Anyway, after a 40 min chat and a bit of a catch up I told her that if this is the last I ever hear from her, then I really hope she ends up happy because she deserves it, but said that if she wanted to talk about things properly then the doors open for her to give me a ring in the next few days or so.

    I'm just struggling to know what her motive was, why she said she still loves me and why she hasn't even tried with anyone since? Just wondering if anyone had any kind of idea what's going on here, and whether you think she'll be in contact or not? Or do you think I should just forget it ever happened and move on? Because i'm struggling, so any help would seriously be awesome, cheers for reading!
    Get back with her and see what happens. It may work out

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    (Original post by maggie43)
    Get back with her and see what happens. It may work out

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    She hasn't been in touch with me since, I left it to her to decide whether she wants to talk about things or just have a general catch up, given that we'd both just been on nights out (she wasn't drunk and I was) I didn't feel like then was the right time for it.
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    you should make a script out of that story and give it top hugh grant bro
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    (Original post by banterboy)
    you should make a script out of that story and give it top hugh grant bro
    could make an entire sitcom episode based on the entire new york story alone believe me, non stop drama
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    could make an entire sitcom episode based on the entire new york story alone believe me, non stop drama
    to be fair mate, you broke up with a girl then took her on holiday. what did you expect to happen
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    In my opinion you can only be black and white about this. You need to review what you want, and whether you want to be in contact with her again or even try again with her. You've said the door is open to talk which could turn in to something much more- do you want that?

    We can't say anything about what her intentions and reasons for ringing you now are- but I gather it's obvious. She realises youre moving close to her and it has re-opened old wounds, and has caused her to miss you even more. It seems as though friendship hasn't worked between you two before so I'm not sure what point there is in talking with her again unless both of you might want to give it a go again.

    But remember you're talking to somebody else now and that could be an opportunity for you. It would be best to cut contact with your ex if this goes anywhere, in my opinion. You just need to think about what you want.
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    (Original post by Emily.97)
    In my opinion you can only be black and white about this. You need to review what you want, and whether you want to be in contact with her again or even try again with her. You've said the door is open to talk which could turn in to something much more- do you want that?

    We can't say anything about what her intentions and reasons for ringing you now are- but I gather it's obvious. She realises youre moving close to her and it has re-opened old wounds, and has caused her to miss you even more. It seems as though friendship hasn't worked between you two before so I'm not sure what point there is in talking with her again unless both of you might want to give it a go again.

    But remember you're talking to somebody else now and that could be an opportunity for you. It would be best to cut contact with your ex if this goes anywhere, in my opinion. You just need to think about what you want.
    It really depends on how things are now and if they're different to how they used to be, but i agree that the friendship thing would have never worked, given she still seems to have feelings for me to a certain degree? I just don't see the point in me contacting her if i've given her the option to do so is all. If she wanted to get back together or at least try, she'd get in touch i'd imagine?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It really depends on how things are now and if they're different to how they used to be, but i agree that the friendship thing would have never worked, given she still seems to have feelings for me to a certain degree? I just don't see the point in me contacting her if i've given her the option to do so is all. If she wanted to get back together or at least try, she'd get in touch i'd imagine?
    So it sounds as though you're not intending to contact her..
    Why did you give her that option to contact you then? Are you ready to move on from this relationship? You need to make the person you've been involved in aware of this, it's important that she isn't led on in any way.
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    She's an ex for a reason. Keep her that way, move on with your life.

    If the two of you were "meant to be", you wouldn't have broken up.

    You say that there's an awesome new chick you're talking to, so be happy with what you've got instead of welling on the past and trying to attain what you don't.
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    I may not be the right person to say this since I'm inexperineced in those matters, but to me it sounds like you're in a conflicting position in where the responsibility of deciding the direction of your relationship is thrusted into your hands. Although it might feel overwhelming, you shouldn't forget how your relationship wih her first turned out when making your decision. I mean, how could you be sure it won't happen again? The way you described it, it appears as though most of the problems arose from her and your inability to somehow measure up to her standards. I don't know where I'm going on with this, but I guess I want you to think about whether those six or seven months have helped sort out yourselves individually since there's plently of time for self realisation to make aware of one's own fault, and as you said she does seemed to have
    changed...
    But then she came out fine months wihout you, it does seem strange that she was contacting you now of all times. You seem to have started to try to move on too. I advise you to think carefully about whether it would be worth it, not only for emotional aspects but also mentally as stress can have negative affects on your studies. But I guess you can't make an informed decision without having a heart to heart talk with her.
    Wish you luck!
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    Whilst I mostly agree with what others have said, do you think it may be possible that this break of no contact may have been best for both of you? You clearly both had issues, maybe more so, so may have lost yourselves in the relationship.

    Who knows, it could work out a second time round if you communicate from the start.

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    (Original post by Moonstruck16)
    Whilst I mostly agree with what others have said, do you think it may be possible that this break of no contact may have been best for both of you? You clearly both had issues, maybe more so, so may have lost yourselves in the relationship.

    Who knows, it could work out a second time round if you communicate from the start.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Would you say that that's what she's testing the water with with that phone call and those questions?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Would you say that that's what she's testing the water with with that phone call and those questions?
    Maybe. I mean, you picking up the phone was probably already a great start from her point of view.

    In all honesty OP, what does your heart say? After all you've been through, would she be worth it?

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    Personally I think an ex is an ex for a reason, a lot of the time it is best just to leave it all in the past.
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    (Original post by Moonstruck16)
    Maybe. I mean, you picking up the phone was probably already a great start from her point of view.

    In all honesty OP, what does your heart say? After all you've been through, would she be worth it?

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    IF and only IF it was a fresh relationship like nothing had ever happened... does that even exist??
 
 
 
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