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Dad forcing me to marry someone. @Islam watch

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    • #1
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    #1

    I'm a 24 y/o Muslim male & Arabic. I finished uni with my MEng in Mechanical engineering, :heart: my job that I've been doing for the last 2 years of which, I've been living at home to save up and move out in another 3 months.

    Recently, I've been going out with a few of my work colleagues and met a
    girl I fancied and started going out privately for the last couple months. Note: she's east Asian (Chinese) and my dad found out from some unknown source. He started telling me I disrespected my family, which pisses me off as everyone lives their own life for themselves. I've been working hard at a job and finally am in somewhat of a early stage relationship and he's given me a ultimatum last week to stop seeing her or he will send me to Dubai for a arranged marriage. :wtf: I love my job and don't see myself moving out of UK
    and especially getting married to someone whom I don't even know ontop of which I click with the current girl I'm seeing on so many levels and really like her.

    I checked my email and apparently one of my dad friends who's name I recognised from the email attachment sent me a email by mistake or something and had sent my dad this.

    https://gyazo.com/04b7a8f3cacdd7925e4cd3cb5b0b3cfd

    I don't know what to do. I'm able to move out in another 2-3 months but I don't know what to do. Help?
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm a 24 y/o Muslim male & Arabic. I finished uni with my MEng in Mechanical engineering, :heart: my job that I've been doing for the last 2 years of which, I've been living at home to save up and move out in another 3 months.

    Recently, I've been going out with a few of my work colleagues and met a
    girl I fancied and started going out privately for the last couple months. Note: she's east Asian (Chinese) and my dad found out from some unknown source. He started telling me I disrespected my family, which pisses me off as everyone lives their own life for themselves. I've been working hard at a job and finally am in somewhat of a early stage relationship and he's given me a ultimatum last week to stop seeing her or he will send me to Dubai for a arranged marriage. :wtf: I love my job and don't see myself moving out of UK
    and especially getting married to someone whom I don't even know ontop of which I click with the current girl I'm seeing on so many levels and really like her.

    I checked my email and apparently one of my dad friends who's name I recognised from the email attachment sent me a email by mistake or something and had sent my dad this.

    https://gyazo.com/04b7a8f3cacdd7925e4cd3cb5b0b3cfd

    I don't know what to do. I'm able to move out in another 2-3 months but I don't know what to do. Help?
    Tell him he can't do that, you are an adult and you live in a country that doesn't force you to have arranged marriages. And he cant send you to another country, he doesnt have controll over you if you know what i mean. You are an adult and not a child...
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    You are a 24 year old male

    How exactly can your dad make you do anything?
    Apart from anything, such a thing is illegal.

    Families are difficult but hide your passport?
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    Aside from being an adult and therefore your father cannot make you do anything, forced marriage is illegal in the UK. I'd say if this situation becomes more serious and he really is intent on sending you abroad I'd contact the authorities.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm a 24 y/o Muslim male & Arabic. I finished uni with my MEng in Mechanical engineering, :heart: my job that I've been doing for the last 2 years of which, I've been living at home to save up and move out in another 3 months.

    Recently, I've been going out with a few of my work colleagues and met a
    girl I fancied and started going out privately for the last couple months. Note: she's east Asian (Chinese) and my dad found out from some unknown source. He started telling me I disrespected my family, which pisses me off as everyone lives their own life for themselves. I've been working hard at a job and finally am in somewhat of a early stage relationship and he's given me a ultimatum last week to stop seeing her or he will send me to Dubai for a arranged marriage. :wtf: I love my job and don't see myself moving out of UK
    and especially getting married to someone whom I don't even know ontop of which I click with the current girl I'm seeing on so many levels and really like her.

    I checked my email and apparently one of my dad friends who's name I recognised from the email attachment sent me a email by mistake or something and had sent my dad this.

    https://gyazo.com/04b7a8f3cacdd7925e4cd3cb5b0b3cfd

    I don't know what to do. I'm able to move out in another 2-3 months but I don't know what to do. Help?
    Look it's your choice. Don't marry her if you don't want. Have you got a friend who is willing to put you up for 3 months?
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    It's illegal. Tell him you'll contact the police if he tries to send you to Dubai, that should shut him up.
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    you can move out i guess, if you are independent
    or the best option is to convince your parents somehow :dontknow:
    say to your dad "if you won't let me marry her then i wont marry any other girl THATS IT" in an angry voice :lol:
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    Study Helper
    Welcome Squad
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm a 24 y/o Muslim male & Arabic. I finished uni with my MEng in Mechanical engineering, :heart: my job that I've been doing for the last 2 years of which, I've been living at home to save up and move out in another 3 months.

    Recently, I've been going out with a few of my work colleagues and met a
    girl I fancied and started going out privately for the last couple months. Note: she's east Asian (Chinese) and my dad found out from some unknown source. He started telling me I disrespected my family, which pisses me off as everyone lives their own life for themselves. I've been working hard at a job and finally am in somewhat of a early stage relationship and he's given me a ultimatum last week to stop seeing her or he will send me to Dubai for a arranged marriage. :wtf: I love my job and don't see myself moving out of UK
    and especially getting married to someone whom I don't even know ontop of which I click with the current girl I'm seeing on so many levels and really like her.

    I checked my email and apparently one of my dad friends who's name I recognised from the email attachment sent me a email by mistake or something and had sent my dad this.

    https://gyazo.com/04b7a8f3cacdd7925e4cd3cb5b0b3cfd

    I don't know what to do. I'm able to move out in another 2-3 months but I don't know what to do. Help?
    There are agencies you can go to, it's illegal for him to force you
    The
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    You're 24 and he is treating you like a naughty 8 year old. He can't force you to move out of Britain, you are an adult and he is unable to do such a thing now you are over 18. Don't fall for his scare tactics.
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    grow a pair
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    TSR Support Team
    Get in touch with the Forced Marriage Unit: https://www.gov.uk/stop-forced-marriage

    It's illegal. You're an adult. He can't force you. You can use your savings or overdraft to get the **** outta there and rent an apartment... you're already in a committed relationship so don't screw that up.
    • #3
    #3

    Can you live with a friend or perhaps the girl you're seeing for the 2-3 months??
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    (Original post by Maker)
    grow a pair
    For once I have to agree with Maker. You are 24, you have a job that's gonna get you a flat soon, you have a girl. You have the life that many people post-uni don't have but wish they did.

    Your dad does not control you and you owe him nothing. Stand up for yourself, it's YOUR life.

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm a 24 y/o Muslim male & Arabic. I finished uni with my MEng in Mechanical engineering, :heart: my job that I've been doing for the last 2 years of which, I've been living at home to save up and move out in another 3 months.

    Recently, I've been going out with a few of my work colleagues and met a
    girl I fancied and started going out privately for the last couple months. Note: she's east Asian (Chinese) and my dad found out from some unknown source. He started telling me I disrespected my family, which pisses me off as everyone lives their own life for themselves. I've been working hard at a job and finally am in somewhat of a early stage relationship and he's given me a ultimatum last week to stop seeing her or he will send me to Dubai for a arranged marriage. :wtf: I love my job and don't see myself moving out of UK
    and especially getting married to someone whom I don't even know ontop of which I click with the current girl I'm seeing on so many levels and really like her.

    I checked my email and apparently one of my dad friends who's name I recognised from the email attachment sent me a email by mistake or something and had sent my dad this.

    https://gyazo.com/04b7a8f3cacdd7925e4cd3cb5b0b3cfd

    I don't know what to do. I'm able to move out in another 2-3 months but I don't know what to do. Help?
    Leave the religion and reassign as a Christian then
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    This helpline may be useful to you http://www.karmanirvana.org.uk/helpline/
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    Bring forth Islamic evidence and refuse on the basis that forced marriages aren't allowed. You've said no, you're a man, stand-up to your father and say no. He can't force you to board anything. Get your passport and all your personal items away from him; likely he might sneakily use it to put your name down as a passenger when he books flights. Sort accommodation and move the **** out.
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    Rip your passport up ASAP, look for somewhere to stay temporarily, and move away from them and get into contact with the police and issue a restraining order. If you do not move ASAP they will not stop!!!!!!!!

    Save yourself- Be vigilant!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    • #4
    #4

    for bleeps sake, the quran prettymuch states that marriage has to be consensual in multiple surahs. this is a friggin culture problem in arab and asian cultures that needs to be eliminated. whilst it is good from a devil you know perspective, reality is that you are better being with someone u love (and who loves you back) and who you know you can spend the rest of your life with (assuming ur not in arabia in which case 1 of the the women :lol:)
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    Force marriages aren't allowed in Islam. Explain that to him calmly and like a mature adult.

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    He started telling me I disrespected my family, which pisses me off as everyone lives their own life for themselves.
    You're so right.
    EVERYONE disrespects their family at your age.
    It's called growing up.

    The decent parents embrace it and think it's funny/encouraging because it's what they've spent twenty years bringing you up to do.
    The other type...... can't cope.

    I mean even Amish parents send their children out to see the world and make a decision about staying or leaving.
 
 
 
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