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    I don't know if I am or when these feelings first started but I feel they started somewhere in the second year of my A levels and due to feeling used by my boyfriend. I usually hide how I really feel, like I don't tell anyone and I'm always smiling, that I've created such a barrier between myself and my feelings I'm not sure if I'm depressed or not

    - I've suffered from insomnia, takes me hours to sleep and when I wake up in the night, I just can't sleep
    - I don't know how to describe it but I feel empty, I'm incapable of emotion, I never used to be like this before but nothing phases me anymore. Someone told me they might have cancer and I was just blank, no sadness, nothing.
    - I constantly feel tired, I'm trying to do work and I would much rather lay and bed and sleep or just lay there, doing nothing.
    - I feel worthless. I feel used by my boyfriend and its gotten to the point that I let him treat me like crap just because I need something to hang onto so I can get rid of the emptiness and pain I'm feeling.
    - I get annoyed so quickly
    - I've thought that I'm better of dead many times..

    I want to go to the doctor but I'm scared to be diagnosed with depression or anything else. If anyone has suffered these symptoms, you would be a great help.

    Hey OP,

    Firstly there is nothing to be scared about with regards to being diagnosed with anything. I really think it would be best to seek professional help. There is so much that can be done to help situations like yours from medication to many different types of therapy and counselling.

    If you need someone to just talk to try calling Samaritans (http://www.samaritans.org/) they will do anything from recommending help to just being a person on the end of the phone to listen

    I also think that maybe this relationship you are in, although it may seem like the thing keeping you afloat, may be contributing to bringing you down. You should at least try to communicate your feelings to your boyfriend but in my opinion it is toxic and only making you feel worse.

    Good luck OP, and if you need anything feel free to message me

    R x
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