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Confidence has been knocked over a guy Watch

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    Someone who I felt really strongly for. He wanted a FWB arrangement with me, and said he didn't want a relationship as he was moving away in a couple of months.

    I initially agreed; telling myself that it was better to have a short-term thing than nothing at all, and he was worried it'd hurt me/i'd get attached, but I said it'd be ok.

    Before anything happened, I then realised it wasn't a good idea, and I knew deep down that I wanted more with him. He said he understood and it was totally fine, and then 3 days later he asked me to reconsider, saying it had been a shame i'd said no.

    He later admitted he didn't have any feelings for me, but found me attractive. I said no again (especially after hearing that) a couple of days later he carried on making suggestive comments towards me, and I got upset and had a bit of a go at him.

    After that, I went on another date with a guy who claimed to really like me (but then I later found out he was just after one thing) I ended up talking about it to the first guy, who got angry.

    He asked me why i'd told him about that knowing he wanted to sleep with me and that he liked me. I told him he had said he didn't have feelings for me, and he told me to 'read between the lines'. He said he liked me 'deep down'. and he wanted to spend time with me before leaving as so to not regret it later, and asked me to go over, saying he really liked me.

    I ended up going to his a couple of times and we had sex the second time. Then another time, we were about to, and he just stopped, saying he couldn't.

    I knew I had fallen for him and I really wanted to be with him ,and I told him that I had become attached, and he said that he'd noticed it too and that we shouldn't do that again.

    I asked him to consider a relationship and he said no again because of the distance. I understood, but asked him whether he'd have considered being with me had he been staying here, and he said that I 'shouldn't ask myself that question, because we are not in this situation'.

    A few weeks later of awkwardly trying to be friends, he left, showing little sadness about leaving me behind. He later admitted that he only saw me as a friend and didn't want to go out with me. He said he invited me round because he 'wasn't sure' but then realised it wouldn't go any further. he said he 'hadn't had the feeling' with me, even though I had 'everything going for me'.

    He also said he'd 'not had a connection with me'. I asked him why he'd invited me round and why he'd told me several times that he'd 'liked me' in that case...

    he apologised and stuff, but it's knocked my confidence, even though I shouldn't care. he was also a friend of a few months who I spoke to pretty much daily. Can anyone make sense of this?

    The reason I finally went round to his was because he told me he liked me after all. Did he just say that so i'd sleep with him?

    It's affected me; I don't really understand; I totally get why he wouldn't want a relationship due to moving away, but I thought he liked me, and I feel now like I'm only good for one thing..
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    I always liked him, but I definitely fell for him when we started to spend time alone like that/sleep together, and I knew I couldn't carry on with that kind of thing; I wanted a relationship.
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    its a wild world
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    bump
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    Wow you fall easily for jerks haha
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    (Original post by Dieselblue)
    Wow you fall easily for jerks haha

    Do you think he was a real jerk then by what i've said? In what way?
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    Dating is a minefield. You need to grow very streetwise. I wouldn't fret over this. It's certainly better to have a bonk than be friendzoned. Just move on and find someone who cares about you.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Do you think he was a real jerk then by what i've said? In what way?
    You seem to be finding men who are manipulative and pretend to be someone they are not and do it just for sex it seems, that's what I gathered from what you said.

    My suggestion would be to look somewhere else, I know it's easier said than done but find some one who seems genuinely interested in a long relation ship
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    Thanks for the replies... yeah I just feel a bit screwed over (not the best choice of words lol).. I just wonder if all that 'read between the lines' 'I like you deep down' was just to get me into bed.

    I'd already told him no twice because I wanted more than he did, and besides he'd told me he had no feelings, but he was doing his best to persuade me, and I fell for the 'I like you' stuff.

    It's just sad because I thought this guy was actually really sweet; he was when I met him, but I suppose all along he was just interested in sex with me and nothing else. It's probably my fault anyway for agreeing to it, but at least we stopped it quite early on..
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    After I do wonder if he genuinely would have wanted a relationship with me had he not been moving to the other side of the world. I asked him and he said he 'would have considered it more', but...
 
 
 
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