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    I'm really struggling with feelings of bitterness and jealousy and it's not something I'm having much luck just putting to the back of my mind. I have this overriding feeling of people having contributed to my life being rubbish and now I'm sitting in a bed I didn't even make...

    Any tips on how to just get on with things and even do well/make progress whilst these insidious emotions in the backdrop? Thanks.
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    I would say focus on the things that make you happy as it will take your mind off it , also to try and talk to friends or someone close and just going out really this will help a lot ,
    I understand how you feel though.
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    https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=go...rZBggQ_AUIBigB
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    (Original post by Ria25)
    I would say focus on the things that make you happy as it will take your mind off it , also to try and talk to friends or someone close and just going out really this will help a lot ,
    I understand how you feel though.
    Thanks, you're right it's just difficult to broach the subject of stuff like that I don't want to burden them or be acting bitter around them... worried they'll be like *sigh* you're bringing us down. I guess it's better than suffering in silence though.
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    animals are always self affirming but my dad would go ape **** if I brought one of those little darlings home
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    Go and see your GP and get some therapy.

    You are a bit vague really, so youd be better off explorting it with a counselor.

    They are negative emotions that fester and will not help you, so you need help to understand and then counter them or they will hold you back. Rest of your post is just too vague.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks, you're right it's just difficult to broach the subject of stuff like that I don't want to burden them or be acting bitter around them... worried they'll be like *sigh* you're bringing us down. I guess it's better than suffering in silence though.
    True and I understand , but please don't suffer in silence it's better to let someone know , who you know cares for you , because if they knew you were suffering in silence they would be upset that they were not one of the people you could go to , so please do tell , but I understand and your nota. Burden because everyone has problems and are different in their own ways.
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    Go and see your GP and get some therapy.

    You are a bit vague really, so youd be better off explorting it with a counselor.

    They are negative emotions that fester and will not help you, so you need help to understand and then counter them or they will hold you back. Rest of your post is just too vague.
    what else do you want to know? But yeah I'm on a waiting list for counselling.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    what else do you want to know? But yeah I'm on a waiting list for counselling.
    It's ok . If you are booked for a counselor then that is a step forward.

    If it were me then I would examine the events and my feelings and why I felt the way I did. I would identify the specific things or people and try to understand why I was bitter or jealous.

    You might not be able to do it, but I would then question why it affected me in that way and whether it was a rational or reasonable response.

    If it was irrational then I would keep reminding myself of that and look for routines I could put into play when the feelings became strong because they undermine and hold you back.

    I dont really do bitterness or jealousy. I get a bit frustrated or a bit envious at times, but they are rare. O think its becayse Im quite good at analysing, accpeting responsibility and realising when specific bevaiour does more damage than good.

    I promise you as much as people might let you down, then there are other people who have it worse.

    ps the comment about the bed you didnt make... what was all that about?
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    It's ok . If you are booked for a counselor then that is a step forward.

    If it were me then I would examine the events and my feelings and why I felt the way I did. I would identify the specific things or people and try to understand why I was bitter or jealous.

    You might not be able to do it, but I would then question why it affected me in that way and whether it was a rational or reasonable response.

    If it was irrational then I would keep reminding myself of that and look for routines I could put into play when the feelings became strong because they undermine and hold you back.

    I dont really do bitterness or jealousy. I get a bit frustrated or a bit envious at times, but they are rare. O think its becayse Im quite good at analysing, accpeting responsibility and realising when specific bevaiour does more damage than good.

    I promise you as much as people might let you down, then there are other people who have it worse.

    ps the comment about the bed you didnt make... what was all that about?
    Haven't you heard the phrase 'well you've made your bed now you have to lie in it'... I was trying to say I don't feel like it's much my fault that I'm in the situation I'm in but instead it has a lot to do with other people, a lack of support and bad luck. That's what I meant by the little rejig of the phrase I did.

    The way you've described putting things aside and carrying on or reducing the intensity of your emotions is what I want to go for but I haven't yet mastered that well enough for the emotions to be at a comfortable level... It still feels too intense and interfers with me getting on with constructive stuff. It's eating me up is what I'm saying. I would like to take some responsibility like you say.

    I don't feel like saying there are people who have it worse is that helpful it just makes me feel bad for 'wallowing'
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Haven't you heard the phrase 'well you've made your bed now you have to lie in it'... I was trying to say I don't feel like it's much my fault that I'm in the situation I'm in but instead it has a lot to do with other people, a lack of support and bad luck. That's what I meant by the little rejig of the phrase I did.

    The way you've described putting things aside and carrying on or reducing the intensity of your emotions is what I want to go for but I haven't yet mastered that well enough for the emotions to be at a comfortable level... It still feels too intense and interfers with me getting on with constructive stuff. It's eating me up is what I'm saying. I would like to take some responsibility like you say.

    I don't feel like saying there are people who have it worse is that helpful it just makes me feel bad for 'wallowing'
    Lol yes, but it didnt occur to me at the time. I had the image you were being bitter in bed lol. Thanks for the explanation.

    Sometimes life is a bit crap or a lot crap for certain people.

    IT helps imo slightly by giving you some perspective. Have you thought about chatting it trhough with a helpline, whilst you are waiting for full counseling? Talking about things with a non jydgmental stranger or soemone you cna rust will help share the burden.

    The only tip I have is really to take it one day at a time. maybe keep a diary and chart how the emotions are affecting you? I sometimes suggest writing it all down as a list and then putting it away in a drawer or up on the wall. The idea is to remind yourself of the 20 reasons etc why you are jealous or annoyed and then that stops you wasting energy by repeating it all. That is draining.

    You should aso be able to envisage what a life without the bitterness would be like and make it a target.

    http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-li...s/art-20047692
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    Lol yes, but it didnt occur to me at the time. I had the image you were being bitter in bed lol. Thanks for the explanation.

    Sometimes life is a bit crap or a lot crap for certain people.

    IT helps imo slightly by giving you some perspective. Have you thought about chatting it trhough with a helpline, whilst you are waiting for full counseling? Talking about things with a non jydgmental stranger or soemone you cna rust will help share the burden.

    The only tip I have is really to take it one day at a time. maybe keep a diary and chart how the emotions are affecting you? I sometimes suggest writing it all down as a list and then putting it away in a drawer or up on the wall. The idea is to remind yourself of the 20 reasons etc why you are jealous or annoyed and then that stops you wasting energy by repeating it all. That is draining.

    You should aso be able to envisage what a life without the bitterness would be like and make it a target.

    http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-li...s/art-20047692
    lol

    Yeah I probably will do that the chatting it out to someone via a helpline or something before my counselling comes through.

    Thanks yeah that's a good idea to get the emotions and stuff down on paper so I'm not just repeating the same cycle of unhelpful thoughts.

    Really good article too thanks
 
 
 
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