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Ex behaving strangely. watch

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    My ex and I broke up 2 years ago, ostensibly for uni. It was incredibly intense whilst we were together and she would often talk of our futures, kids etc. She confirmed this to independent parties as well, so I know she meant it.

    Recently she got back in contact with me, having just returned home for the Summer. She was immediately keen to meet up suggesting we do it as soon as possible.

    We went for a drink and walk and had a really fantastic time. I could tell how keen she was to meet up again, immediately contacted me afterwards etc. Next day she was heavily hinting at a meet, so we went to the beach for the evening and ended up having sex in my car. Afterwards she said how excited she had been to see me again, how she hadn't felt the same way about anyone since we ended and how we get on so much better than she has done with anyone else.

    Over the next few days we were both busy but she contacted me saying how she had loved our time together recently and wanted to meet up over the Summer more. She also kept saying how she wanted me in her bed, with her etc. We met up again a few days later for a walk, during which she tried to hold my hand etc. and she was very enthusiastic to kiss etc.

    Since then, I have heard practically nothing, she just occasionally unenthusiastically messages me. I recently suggested we meet up again but she basically palmed it off with a 'maybe' and 'I'll let you know'.

    I don't know what the heck is going on! Why be so enthused, so keen and then suddenly go cold!?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My ex and I broke up 2 years ago, ostensibly for uni. It was incredibly intense whilst we were together and she would often talk of our futures, kids etc. She confirmed this to independent parties as well, so I know she meant it.

    Recently she got back in contact with me, having just returned home for the Summer. She was immediately keen to meet up suggesting we do it as soon as possible.

    We went for a drink and walk and had a really fantastic time. I could tell how keen she was to meet up again, immediately contacted me afterwards etc. Next day she was heavily hinting at a meet, so we went to the beach for the evening and ended up having sex in my car. Afterwards she said how excited she had been to see me again, how she hadn't felt the same way about anyone since we ended and how we get on so much better than she has done with anyone else.

    Over the next few days we were both busy but she contacted me saying how she had loved our time together recently and wanted to meet up over the Summer more. She also kept saying how she wanted me in her bed, with her etc. We met up again a few days later for a walk, during which she tried to hold my hand etc. and she was very enthusiastic to kiss etc.

    Since then, I have heard practically nothing, she just occasionally unenthusiastically messages me. I recently suggested we meet up again but she basically palmed it off with a 'maybe' and 'I'll let you know'.

    I don't know what the heck is going on! Why be so enthused, so keen and then suddenly go cold!?
    Maybe she just had a old spark/memory of you two together and needed to get it out of her system?
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    She could be possessed.
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    Maybe she just wanted to see you again and see if you have moved on , like a median she maybe trying to move on from you . I personally think you should not text her and move on as she maybe just trying to lead you on . And it's better to stay distant than to get close and get hurt
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    Wow. Just wow.

    It's so wrong to mislead someone. Steer clear, you're only gonna end up disappointed and left behind.
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    The title sounds like a spin-off from bear behaving badly.
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    Emotionally immature. She was probably feeling lonely (recent breakup, maybe?) and was using you as a fallback. Now that she's had her fill, she doesn't want anything to do with you.

    Ex's are ex's for a reason. Steer clear, that ship has sailed, onto better fortunes!
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    Probably found another bit of penis OP
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    As the user above said, she's emotionally immature. This could have been done for a number of reasons, including stroking her ego to know that she can get an ex whenever she wants. She could also be interested in starting again, but not sure - or maybe a friend has warned her against you because "there was a reason you broke up".
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    maybe you was a rebound for someone and shes over them and moved on away from u?
    maybe she found someone else and you was just something to pass the time by?
    maybe she just wanted a shag

    women are weird dude
    • #1
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    #1

    Thanks for your repiles. I think the most likely answer, judging by what she has said/done etc. (beyond what is mentioned above) is that she wanted to see me, enjoyed spending time with me, but is unsure what she wants and perhaps doesn't want to dabble with my feelings/something that once meant a great deal, either because she is still hung up on her ex or because she's not after a relationship at present. Seems to have taken to seeing her friends a lot and not making catching up with me any kind of a priority. Perhaps this is the reasons above, perhaps it's timing, or perhaps she's just not that into me anymore.
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    (Original post by Samii123)
    The title sounds like a spin-off from bear behaving badly.
    hahaha i literally remembered that show with my brother 2 days ago
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    (Original post by SpiritSharD)
    Emotionally immature. She was probably feeling lonely (recent breakup, maybe?) and was using you as a fallback. Now that she's had her fill, she doesn't want anything to do with you.

    Ex's are ex's for a reason. Steer clear, that ship has sailed, onto better fortunes!
    Yup.
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    She was keen, but now she is having second thoughts.
    Looks like she thought it was a good idea at the time, but now realisies you split for a reason.

    You could wait, but it might only have been about sex and a fantasy on how she remembered you.

    Advice is just to ignore it and get on with your life, before you start to overthink it. The sex thing confuses the issue.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My ex and I broke up 2 years ago, ostensibly for uni. It was incredibly intense whilst we were together and she would often talk of our futures, kids etc. She confirmed this to independent parties as well, so I know she meant it.

    Recently she got back in contact with me, having just returned home for the Summer. She was immediately keen to meet up suggesting we do it as soon as possible.

    We went for a drink and walk and had a really fantastic time. I could tell how keen she was to meet up again, immediately contacted me afterwards etc. Next day she was heavily hinting at a meet, so we went to the beach for the evening and ended up having sex in my car. Afterwards she said how excited she had been to see me again, how she hadn't felt the same way about anyone since we ended and how we get on so much better than she has done with anyone else.

    Everything up to this point is sound.

    She's kissing you, you're having sex, she's initiating, she's chasing, she's hinting and full out asking you out, etc... I'm sure this is all down to you refraining from contacting her, and letting her come to you.

    For this I applaud you.

    Now onto this part...

    (Original post by Anonymous)

    Over the next few days we were both busy but she contacted me saying how she had loved our time together recently and wanted to meet up over the Summer more.
    You should tell that you've had an amazing time too, and would love to meet up with her over the summer. Pretty simple stuff really, she's telling you what she wants, and you're telling her what she wants to hear.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    She also kept saying how she wanted me in her bed, with her etc.
    Same as above really, just say something that will turn her on like "Sounds like we're both in the mood, why don't we find a room now?"...

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    We met up again a few days later for a walk, during which she tried to hold my hand etc. and she was very enthusiastic to kiss etc.
    She's really, really keen/interested at this point, she's doing all the initiating.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Since then, I have heard practically nothing, she just occasionally unenthusiastically messages me. I recently suggested we meet up again but she basically palmed it off with a 'maybe' and 'I'll let you know'.
    This is where it goes downhill. She's lost interest (to an extent). She's being wishy-washy, and you're clearly not a priority to her.

    My guess is that you turned her off somehow. Did you over text? Did you say something mean that hurt her? Has she found someone else? Really think about it.


    (Original post by Anonymous)


    I don't know what the heck is going on! Why be so enthused, so keen and then suddenly go cold!?
    Because you turned her off somehow, and she's lost interest to an extent. Notice that when she first contacted you up to the point of her being vague and uninterested, you weren't doing anything, you were letting her come to you. Now she's being cold and distant because you're showing insecurity.


    What I would suggest now is that you don't contact her AT ALL. You let her come to you again.

    When she reaches out, just ask her out on the spot. Something fun in the evening, then get some drinks at your place and have sex.

    Rinse and repeat.
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    (Original post by Clee Torres)
    Everything up to this point is sound.

    She's kissing you, you're having sex, she's initiating, she's chasing, she's hinting and full out asking you out, etc... I'm sure this is all down to you refraining from contacting her, and letting her come to you.

    For this I applaud you.

    Now onto this part...



    You should tell that you've had an amazing time too, and would love to meet up with her over the summer. Pretty simple stuff really, she's telling you what she wants, and you're telling her what she wants to hear.



    Same as above really, just say something that will turn her on like "Sounds like we're both in the mood, why don't we find a room now?"...



    She's really, really keen/interested at this point, she's doing all the initiating.



    This is where it goes downhill. She's lost interest (to an extent). She's being wishy-washy, and you're clearly not a priority to her.

    My guess is that you turned her off somehow. Did you over text? Did you say something mean that hurt her? Has she found someone else? Really think about it.




    Because you turned her off somehow, and she's lost interest to an extent. Notice that when she first contacted you up to the point of her being vague and uninterested, you weren't doing anything, you were letting her come to you. Now she's being cold and distant because you're showing insecurity.


    What I would suggest now is that you don't contact her AT ALL. You let her come to you again.

    When she reaches out, just ask her out on the spot. Something fun in the evening, then get some drinks at your place and have sex.

    Rinse and repeat.

    Thanks for your reply, all good stuff.

    So, I've wracked my brain for what I might have done - I certainly didn't overtext, and can't think of a time when I showed any particular insecurity.

    After we slept together, since I know she was still somewhat caught up over her ex and was depressed/bulimic as a result, I told her that if I was just a distraction to her, a rebound, then it wasn't a good idea. She assured me that this wasn't the case in any sense and wanted to see me more over the Summer. This was prior to the meet where she was pretty keen, holding hands etc.

    I recently suggested we meet up when she contacted me out of the blue. She agreed but was again wishy-washy in terms of a day. I suggested something, she said she would have to check as might be busy. Two days later, on the suggested day of the meet, having not contacted me in between at all to confirm or suggest an alternative, she randomly messaged to say 'fancy a coffee'. Having not heard anything, I had made plans. Plus, a daytime coffee doesn't create the opportunity for sex or bonding imo. So I suggested meeting that eve, but she was again busy.
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    Oh and with regards my responses - when she was saying how she would like to have me in her bed etc, I did try to organise something. And when she said she wanted to see me more, had had a great time, I echoed the sentiment.

    The only thing I can think of is, after the holding hands etc. meet, we were messaging, her suggesting that she was playing hard to get to win me, and was keen to talk. During this, she told me 'you're too nice to me' and 'where's the infuriating ignoring of me we once had?'. I certainly haven't been too nice since we have constant banter.

    However, the following morning, I suggested we meet up - she was legitimately busy. Since I was going away for a week, I then followed this up with, 'well I'm going away on holiday on Monday, so if you fancy meeting before then let me know'. She said she was busy the whole weekend (she works late both days). Over the course of the week away neither of us texted each other.

    I just wonder whether I seemed too available?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My ex and I broke up 2 years ago, ostensibly for uni. It was incredibly intense whilst we were together and she would often talk of our futures, kids etc. She confirmed this to independent parties as well, so I know she meant it.

    Recently she got back in contact with me, having just returned home for the Summer. She was immediately keen to meet up suggesting we do it as soon as possible.

    We went for a drink and walk and had a really fantastic time. I could tell how keen she was to meet up again, immediately contacted me afterwards etc. Next day she was heavily hinting at a meet, so we went to the beach for the evening and ended up having sex in my car. Afterwards she said how excited she had been to see me again, how she hadn't felt the same way about anyone since we ended and how we get on so much better than she has done with anyone else.

    Over the next few days we were both busy but she contacted me saying how she had loved our time together recently and wanted to meet up over the Summer more. She also kept saying how she wanted me in her bed, with her etc. We met up again a few days later for a walk, during which she tried to hold my hand etc. and she was very enthusiastic to kiss etc.

    Since then, I have heard practically nothing, she just occasionally unenthusiastically messages me. I recently suggested we meet up again but she basically palmed it off with a 'maybe' and 'I'll let you know'.

    I don't know what the heck is going on! Why be so enthused, so keen and then suddenly go cold!?

    She could just be busy brah. Dont overthink it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Oh and with regards my responses - when she was saying how she would like to have me in her bed etc, I did try to organise something. And when she said she wanted to see me more, had had a great time, I echoed the sentiment.

    The only thing I can think of is, after the holding hands etc. meet, we were messaging, her suggesting that she was playing hard to get to win me, and was keen to talk. During this, she told me 'you're too nice to me' and 'where's the infuriating ignoring of me we once had?'. I certainly haven't been too nice since we have constant banter.

    However, the following morning, I suggested we meet up - she was legitimately busy. Since I was going away for a week, I then followed this up with, 'well I'm going away on holiday on Monday, so if you fancy meeting before then let me know'. She said she was busy the whole weekend (she works late both days). Over the course of the week away neither of us texted each other.

    I just wonder whether I seemed too available?
    BAsically you are an option to her, chances are when she goes back to Uni, she will drop you again.
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    (Original post by Rock Fan)
    BAsically you are an option to her, chances are when she goes back to Uni, she will drop you again.
    Is that a reflection upon me or?

    What I don'tunderstand is that she told me "I've decided all I want is to be happy from now on".

    In more or less the same sentence, she told me that we "get on better" than she does with almost anyone and "I still haven't felt the same way I felt about you about anyone else, and doubt whether I will. Maybe that's why I want to see you". Surely that would lead her to want to pursue things with me?

    Sucks that we were once SO close, meant so much to each other and now she sees me as nothing more than another option. She certainly has options but is constantly saying, unprompted, that I've meant more to her than anyone else, and still do in some respects.
 
 
 
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