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Friend constantly inviting her friends whenever we agree to meet up watch

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    • Thread Starter
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    Hi thanks for clicking I'm just looking for advice on a friendship issue.

    I've been incredibly close to my friend for the last 8 years, we went to primary and high school together but split up when we went to college. Over the last 2 years we've seen each other less than we did in high school but still a fair amount however I really can't recall a single time we have arranged to meet each other in the last 2 years when she hasn't invited someone else or an entire group along with or without telling me beforehand.

    For example bizarrely last week we agreed to go bra shopping and unbeknownst to me she invited a group of 4 boys whom I had never met before which made the whole day terribly awkward! Normally it's not as bad as that, for example we might agree to go to the cinema or shopping and she'll bring a friend along or say we need to go pick some other people up first. This weekend we agreed to see a movie and do some last minute holiday shopping before I go away for the next 5 weeks and I just thought it would be nice to be together because we aren't going to get the chance for a long while. However about an hour ago I got a text saying she's invited her friend and ex-bf to come as well.

    I'm feeling a bit fed up of this really and don't know how to respond because I don't want to spend another day with another group of people whom I've never met before. I just want to be relaxed and be myself with my friend. I have spoken to her about this problem once before saying it upset me; at first she thought I was joking and then got incredibly defensive so I just dropped it because I'm not going to to lose her over something like this.

    Sorry if I'm sounding a bit overly possessive or childish. Basically I just want to know how best to address this situation sensitively because she can be quite confrontational or should I just leave it be because at the end of the day I guess it's not that big of a deal?

    Thank you if you've read all of this and I really appreciate any advice.
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    Are you a guy by any chance?

    If you are then it sounds like classic friendzone, trying to avoid it becoming a date so invites a 3rd, 4th of 5th wheel to make the day out casual. Even though you probably don't like her like that, she doesn't want to give any hints.

    On the other hand she might just prefer more company, though you should tell her that you should just go somewhere together and then it she invites someone, just ask her why she does it.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by UWS)
    Are you a guy by any chance?

    If you are then it sounds like classic friendzone, trying to avoid it becoming a date so invites a 3rd, 4th of 5th wheel to make the day out casual. Even though you probably don't like her like that, she doesn't want to give any hints.

    On the other hand she might just prefer more company, though you should tell her that you should just go somewhere together and then it she invites someone, just ask her why she does it.
    Whoops maybe should add I'm a girl as well! Thank you for your response.
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    What you need to do is actually tell her again.

    you're not willing to lose her? I know it's very simple but would you rather be annoyed and fed up and have a friend not understand such a BASIC thing like this?

    No one wants to grow apart from/lose friends but someone you are friends with should respect and value your opinion.

    If one of my friends did that I'd tell them one last time and if they didn't get it I just wouldn't bother, I don't have time for things like that.

    Similar example..one of my friends kept ringing me at absolutely stupid times of the day..either really late or really early..I told him once., he didn't get it. I waited a while told him for the second and last time. He got it! Some people can be selfish and don't care and some people don't take others seriously. Either way you need to tell her again..either that or put up with it. Only two options I'm afraid.

    Good luck
    • Very Important Poster
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    Tell her again. There are some situations where I generally have no problems with my friend bringing his or her friend along; as long as I'm aware of it beforehand.
 
 
 
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