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Muslim 'boyfriend' acted like he didn't know me when with his friend. watch

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    I'm quite upset atm so apologies in advance if this comes out slightly..irrational. ive tried condensing this but i couldn't sorry:

    - So I've officially been with my partner for about 4 months (he's the one who wanted to be exclusive so don't post saying I'm the side ting when I'm clearly not). I'm 21 and he's 22.

    - Although I'm a deist (ex-Muslim), he's a Muslim revert, but we were completely compatible personality-wise and he actually got me re-interested in my faith to the point where I've started re-reading the Qur'an and fasting during the month of Ramadan.

    - He on the other hand, smokes weed almost daily, occasionally drinks (even on Eid day) and has a really bad temper (has said "**** you" to me multiple times whenever I've raised issues with him).

    - During the first 2 months of dating, he would always initiate hanging out. We'd hang out quite a few times a week, we'd always have a great time and he'd always text/call me every day/night.

    - It became increasingly apparent that he cares A LOT what people think. He's Caribbean and I'm Somali. I've distanced myself from the Somali community naturally, but he has a LOT of Somali friends, and is well known to the community.

    - For the past 3 weeks, he had become really flakey. Whenever I'd suggest somewhere for us to meet, he'd be all up for it before bailing on me last minute (he's actually stood me up a couple of times). We had a massive argument last night which ended with him promising to make it up to me today when we meet up for a coffee. He said he'd call me in the morning. He NEVER did, which I kinda expected. I made plans for the day anyway and texted him about it, which he ignored.

    - Later on I decided to treat myself to a subway meal, and went to Subway. Lo and behold, he's sitting there with his mate (who had his back turned and was on the phone). He smiled at me as if NOTHING was wrong, and when I said hey back, he lifted his finger to his lips and pointed to his friend.
    He turned around and literally didn't look at me again.


    I ignored him from that point and walked out with my food, before blocking his number.


    I just want to know WHY he acted like he didn't know me when his friend was there. I know for a fact that if my friend was around me and I bumped into him, I'd definitely stop to say hi. His reaction to my being there was not only super awkward, but was disheartening to say the least.
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    he's embarrassed, maybe you should leave him
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    Say you're done. That's not how a relationship works. What a tool.
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    This not how a healthy relationship should be. He clearly doesn't respect you. Leave him unless you want to be treated like this indefinitely.
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    (Original post by DarkParadise)
    - He on the other hand, smokes weed almost daily, occasionally drinks (even on Eid day) and has a really bad temper (has said "**** you" to me multiple times whenever I've raised issues with him).
    A muslim male who does things specifically against his religion and treats a woman like dirt

    Now there's a shocker. Muslim men ime are some of the biggest hypocrites I've ever met.

    Ditch him, he has no respect for you.
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    I don't usually recommend this but him ditching you, swearing at you and blanking you in front of his mates is big no-no. Dump him you deserve better. He doesn't even deserve a talk imo.
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    (Original post by DarkParadise)
    I'm quite upset atm so apologies in advance if this comes out slightly..irrational. ive tried condensing this but i couldn't sorry:

    - So I've officially been with my partner for about 4 months (he's the one who wanted to be exclusive so don't post saying I'm the side ting when I'm clearly not). I'm 21 and he's 22.

    - Although I'm a deist (ex-Muslim), he's a Muslim revert, but we were completely compatible personality-wise and he actually got me re-interested in my faith to the point where I've started re-reading the Qur'an and fasting during the month of Ramadan.

    - He on the other hand, smokes weed almost daily, occasionally drinks (even on Eid day) and has a really bad temper (has said "**** you" to me multiple times whenever I've raised issues with him).

    - During the first 2 months of dating, he would always initiate hanging out. We'd hang out quite a few times a week, we'd always have a great time and he'd always text/call me every day/night.

    - It became increasingly apparent that he cares A LOT what people think. He's Caribbean and I'm Somali. I've distanced myself from the Somali community naturally, but he has a LOT of Somali friends, and is well known to the community.

    - For the past 3 weeks, he had become really flakey. Whenever I'd suggest somewhere for us to meet, he'd be all up for it before bailing on me last minute (he's actually stood me up a couple of times). We had a massive argument last night which ended with him promising to make it up to me today when we meet up for a coffee. He said he'd call me in the morning. He NEVER did, which I kinda expected. I made plans for the day anyway and texted him about it, which he ignored.

    - Later on I decided to treat myself to a subway meal, and went to Subway. Lo and behold, he's sitting there with his mate (who had his back turned and was on the phone). He smiled at me as if NOTHING was wrong, and when I said hey back, he lifted his finger to his lips and pointed to his friend.
    He turned around and literally didn't look at me again.


    I ignored him from that point and walked out with my food, before blocking his number.


    I just want to know WHY he acted like he didn't know me when his friend was there. I know for a fact that if my friend was around me and I bumped into him, I'd definitely stop to say hi. His reaction to my being there was not only super awkward, but was disheartening to say the least.
    It could be a number of reasons. You mention that he's a Muslim, so openly dating isn't something that's generally accepted is it? Could he be embarrassed? Perhaps.
    Whatever the reason, it seems he doesn't want people knowing you are/were a thing and he didn't want to introduce you to his friend. Maybe his friend knows something about him that he doesn't want you to know?
    You're going to have to find out from him what the real reason was, but it's good that you won't stand for that.
    It's about respecting yourself and your happiness. You can't have someone in your life who makes you feel miserable and doesn't appreciate you. What's the point?

    Oh and I'm just curious, is your username a reference to the Lana Del Rey song at all? 😊
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    Find the stereotypical 'nice Jewish boy'
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    Talk to him about it, thats step 1.
    If he's ashamed of you infront of his friends then leave him.
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    Furthermore, the fact that a grown man believes in fairy tales in the 21st century is reason enough to be worried. That should have been an alarm bell tbh.
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    Making a relationship public is very risky for Muslims since if his parents get to know the truth then there might be deadly consequences. I have seen a lot of Muslim teens having relationships and the couple always wants it to be a secret to avoid any harm. You may have to tall about since you never know maybe he doesn't trust his friends about you know publicising the relationship. That's why he may be acting like you're a stranger.
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    (Original post by DarkParadise)
    I'm quite upset atm so apologies in advance if this comes out slightly..irrational. ive tried condensing this but i couldn't sorry:

    - So I've officially been with my partner for about 4 months (he's the one who wanted to be exclusive so don't post saying I'm the side ting when I'm clearly not). I'm 21 and he's 22.

    - Although I'm a deist (ex-Muslim), he's a Muslim revert, but we were completely compatible personality-wise and he actually got me re-interested in my faith to the point where I've started re-reading the Qur'an and fasting during the month of Ramadan.

    - He on the other hand, smokes weed almost daily, occasionally drinks (even on Eid day) and has a really bad temper (has said "**** you" to me multiple times whenever I've raised issues with him).

    - During the first 2 months of dating, he would always initiate hanging out. We'd hang out quite a few times a week, we'd always have a great time and he'd always text/call me every day/night.

    - It became increasingly apparent that he cares A LOT what people think. He's Caribbean and I'm Somali. I've distanced myself from the Somali community naturally, but he has a LOT of Somali friends, and is well known to the community.

    - For the past 3 weeks, he had become really flakey. Whenever I'd suggest somewhere for us to meet, he'd be all up for it before bailing on me last minute (he's actually stood me up a couple of times). We had a massive argument last night which ended with him promising to make it up to me today when we meet up for a coffee. He said he'd call me in the morning. He NEVER did, which I kinda expected. I made plans for the day anyway and texted him about it, which he ignored.

    - Later on I decided to treat myself to a subway meal, and went to Subway. Lo and behold, he's sitting there with his mate (who had his back turned and was on the phone). He smiled at me as if NOTHING was wrong, and when I said hey back, he lifted his finger to his lips and pointed to his friend.
    He turned around and literally didn't look at me again.


    I ignored him from that point and walked out with my food, before blocking his number.


    I just want to know WHY he acted like he didn't know me when his friend was there. I know for a fact that if my friend was around me and I bumped into him, I'd definitely stop to say hi. His reaction to my being there was not only super awkward, but was disheartening to say the least.

    Maybe he's being influenced by the guys he hangs out with. He might be becoming more 'religious' although that's still no way to act - maybe he doesn't want his act of being a good Muslim to fall apart in front of his friends.

    It's a good idea to ignore him.
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    I'm also an ex-Muslim. And this is just another classic case of yet another hypocritical self-righteous 'Muslim' with a ridiculous authority-complex on Islam unable to see himself in the mirror. You were right to leave in the first place... dump his ass and move on. You're merely his property from what you've described. It's only going to get worse as he becomes more religious anyway, and you'll be left broken.

    Date an ex/non-Muslim instead and quit being treated like dirt unless you're attracted to his type, in which case there's no point in complaining or blaming anyone else except yourself.

    Check out the CEMB forum (Google it) for further support.
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    (Original post by Final Fantasy)
    I'm also an ex-Muslim. And this is just another classic case of yet another hypocritical self-righteous 'Muslim' with a ridiculous authority-complex on Islam unable to see himself in the mirror. You were right to leave in the first place... dump his ass and move on. You're merely his property from what you've described. It's only going to get worse as he becomes more religious anyway, and you'll be left broken.

    Date an ex/non-Muslim instead and quit being treated like dirt unless you're attracted to his type, in which case there's no point in complaining or blaming anyone else except yourself.

    Check out the CEMB forum (Google it) for further support.
    Youre part of the TSR 'support team' lol what a joke
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    34908seikj mate another somali girl!
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    (Original post by DarkParadise)
    I'm quite upset atm so apologies in advance if this comes out slightly..irrational. ive tried condensing this but i couldn't sorry:

    - So I've officially been with my partner for about 4 months (he's the one who wanted to be exclusive so don't post saying I'm the side ting when I'm clearly not). I'm 21 and he's 22.

    - Although I'm a deist (ex-Muslim), he's a Muslim revert, but we were completely compatible personality-wise and he actually got me re-interested in my faith to the point where I've started re-reading the Qur'an and fasting during the month of Ramadan.

    - He on the other hand, smokes weed almost daily, occasionally drinks (even on Eid day) and has a really bad temper (has said "**** you" to me multiple times whenever I've raised issues with him).

    - During the first 2 months of dating, he would always initiate hanging out. We'd hang out quite a few times a week, we'd always have a great time and he'd always text/call me every day/night.

    - It became increasingly apparent that he cares A LOT what people think. He's Caribbean and I'm Somali. I've distanced myself from the Somali community naturally, but he has a LOT of Somali friends, and is well known to the community.

    - For the past 3 weeks, he had become really flakey. Whenever I'd suggest somewhere for us to meet, he'd be all up for it before bailing on me last minute (he's actually stood me up a couple of times). We had a massive argument last night which ended with him promising to make it up to me today when we meet up for a coffee. He said he'd call me in the morning. He NEVER did, which I kinda expected. I made plans for the day anyway and texted him about it, which he ignored.

    - Later on I decided to treat myself to a subway meal, and went to Subway. Lo and behold, he's sitting there with his mate (who had his back turned and was on the phone). He smiled at me as if NOTHING was wrong, and when I said hey back, he lifted his finger to his lips and pointed to his friend.
    He turned around and literally didn't look at me again.


    I ignored him from that point and walked out with my food, before blocking his number.


    I just want to know WHY he acted like he didn't know me when his friend was there. I know for a fact that if my friend was around me and I bumped into him, I'd definitely stop to say hi. His reaction to my being there was not only super awkward, but was disheartening to say the least.
    If he is embarassed about you. He doesnt love YOU. DITCH HIM!
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    (Original post by PrincessBO$$)
    34908seikj mate another somali girl!
    Gotta' catch 'em all.


    Ditch the dude though. Go find a nice handsome white boy...
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    (Original post by PrincessBO$$)
    If he is embarassed about you. He doesnt love YOU. DITCH HIM!
    Jinx I guess?
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    (Original post by kittien9)
    Youre part of the TSR 'support team' lol what a joke
    What does that have to do with this thread?
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    OP we cant tell you the reasons he treated you like that, maybe the friend he was with was super religious and he knew would give him **** about it if he found out? Or maybe the friend was a gossiping type of person you never know until you ask him but dont ask him and say "is it because...?" Just ask "why?!" and lets see what he says. Also you mentioned hes a revert which is probably why he smokes weed and drinks because hes having a hard time letting go and thats probably why he gets angry when you bring it up, you should let him know firmly that his anger issues and disrespect are not something that you should be having to deal with, if he doesnt treat his friends that way he shouldnt treat you that way. I mean im not going to tell you to dump him or annything but i personally wouldnt be able to deal with an attitude like that, but you asked specifically why he ignored you in subway well only he can tell you why, also somebody mentioned his parents/family i dont think thats a reason tbh since hes a revert.
    Personally as a muslim girl if i were to ever have a boyfriend (doubtful lol) and i was chilling in public with a friend who is not EXTREMELY close to me, I wouldnt mention it to them because its not their business, idk thats just me tho you should ask him why or just dump him honestly esp because of himstanding you up and stuff either hes getting ready to propose (or nah) or getting ready to dump you himself, beat him to it. good luck xxx
 
 
 
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