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    My relationship with my ex-gf of 6 years just ended a month ago. She wasn't sure about the relationship anymore. She wasn't happy, and I wasn't happy knowing how she felt about us... So I broke it off.

    We both agreed that we could still be friends given how long we've known each other. I thought I could handle that, but now I realise that emotions don't just work like that...

    It hit me that I'm not just losing my girlfriend, but I'm also going to be losing one of my closest friends.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UVNT4wvIGY

    If she was in a new relationship, I wouldn't feel right chatting to her frequently out of respect for her BF. But that'd mean that we're basically going to end up as acquaintances that catch up every now and then. The song above seems to capture what I feel is going to happen...

    But maybe other people have different experiences with their ex?
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    My first ex wouldn't care if I was rotting in a ditch at the side of the road.
    My second I choose not to speak to.

    So, I guess you could say not very close.

    Never really understood the need to stay in contact, but I guess for some people they do find a permanent companionship even if it isn't romantic. To each their own, whatever makes them happy.
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    (Original post by SpiritSharD)
    My ex wouldn't care if I was rotting in a ditch at the side of the road.


    So, I guess you could say not very close.
    wow that sums up how mine sees me nicely.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My relationship with my ex-gf of 6 years just ended a month ago. She wasn't sure about the relationship anymore. She wasn't happy, and I wasn't happy knowing how she felt about us... So I broke it off.

    We both agreed that we could still be friends given how long we've known each other. I thought I could handle that, but now I realise that emotions don't just work like that...

    It hit me that I'm not just losing my girlfriend, but I'm also going to be losing one of my closest friends.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UVNT4wvIGY

    If she was in a new relationship, I wouldn't feel right chatting to her frequently out of respect for her BF. But that'd mean that we're basically going to end up as acquaintances that catch up every now and then. The song above seems to capture what I feel is going to happen...

    But maybe other people have different experiences with their ex?
    Yes is very hard when it's new break up but after some time you may just form the friendship part. I'm still in touch with my ex of three years though I'm in UK they are in US.

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    • #2
    #2

    When my ex and I broke up after a four and a half year relationship two months ago, I wanted us to stay friends and he agreed. We had no contact for about a week and then he got back in touch with me. It was nice as first as I had missed the constant contact, but he's started to take days to reply and the conversation feels forced, and I still feel hurt over some of the things he did and said (or maybe frustrated at myself for letting him off lightly for them, I don't know). So even though I don't want him back, I'm finding that staying in touch isn't really helping me to move on at the minute...it's actually kind of reminding me why we're not together anymore, and I'm not overly keen on the idea of meeting up with him in person.

    So I think you have to give it some time to allow the romantic feelings and any resentment or hurt feelings either party is hanging onto to fade, because I think a friendship between two ex-partners can only work if both of you are over that. Give it some time before you see if you can be friends.
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    Me and my first partner were still speaking for a while after he left me. It was nonsensical, I was very naive and was conditioned to believe for so long that my life was nothing without him and so I couldn't imagine not being in contact with him. Luckily with time I could look at things from a birds eye perspective- he has tried to contact me twice and I didn't respond on both occassions because I know that my life would be better without him in it.

    Contact between me and my second partner was very sporadic and unpredictable since he left me. Very much a sad process, was told one thing and then let down again and again- was such a disappointment after such a wonderful summer writing to him and having him visit me. This one is a difficult one for me, because I can't seem to be objective with him in the way that I was with my previous partner. And it's simply because when I did have him to myself, he showed me another world and I never felt happiness like it. I didn't know it existed. So even though, rationally, I could say no contact after break up is for the best, if I was to receive a message from him it would still feel special in a weird way. Despite everything and all the **** he put me through. Very strange, but shows how powerful emotions and feelings can be.

    I started seeing some one who left me within a week due to the realisation of differences between us. All very quick, very ridiculous, shouldn't have ever happened really because it was rushed. Suffice to say contact is well and truly cut.

    Overall, being in contact with an ex is..kinda..pointless? Because it prevents wounds from healing and it just acts as a barrier to moving forward. But I haven't taken that advice, particularly with my second partner. But one thing I know for sure is that he is the only person I have loved. Just all a very **** experience for me basically- lol.
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    Not in contact with any of my ex's just feel too much hurt and it is best left back in the past.
    • #3
    #3

    So close like, had rough sex last week and a bit of tomniboo in the ninkynog
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    Never had a girlfriend so don't have an ex
 
 
 
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