girlfriends birthday, her buggering off

it's my girlfriend's 18th birthday soon. i've been looking forwards to it for ages, and even arranged for our family holiday to be booked at a later date so i don't miss it, even though it meant it costing a lot more, and us having to fly at a worse time. i had mentioned this in passing to her a while ago. but she's now dropped it on me that she and her best friend have booked to go to ireland for four days over her birthday, meaning i won't see her. this is pretty upsetting. and also.. what's she going to do in ireland? all i can imagine is her getting drunk and getting with guys, which i can't really bear to think about.

i'm pretty upset, and don't really know what i want you to say... should i worry? should i be as upset as i am?

Reply 1

coloursonthetv

Anonymous

what's she going to do in ireland? all i can imagine is her getting drunk and getting with guys, which i can't really bear to think about.

Because that's all the Irish do/all there's to do in Ireland.... :rolleyes:

I can understand if her first time mentioning it then sure but the rest of your post is just silly.

Reply 2

kimble

She sounds pretty selfish as she is leaving when you have made plans to stay with her. Maybe she doesn't relise that the holiday cost more etc. as you only "mentioned it in passing" and it was "a while ago" and in all honesty I can't remember what happened last week so she may of just forgot, I would say explain to her how you feel and that she has upset you.

However if you love her you will trust her. END OF.

Reply 3

generalebriety

You have every right to be upset but unless she was contractually bound to seeing you on her birthday you can do nothing about it. Maybe she's seen a lot of you lately and just wants to spend time with her friend. Maybe her friend bought the tickets as a surprise for her and she's going so she doesn't upset her. Maybe she was expecting you to arrange something and you didn't so she got bored waiting. Who knows - without further information we can't really say much, but she was under no obligation to spend that time with you. Put it this way - if you'd decided to do something with her then her best friend wouldn't have got to see her, which wouldn't be nice for her either.

Anyway, no you shouldn't worry about her getting off with guys. Trust is pretty important in a relationship...

Edit: that said, so is communication. Have you spoken to her about this?

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

generalebriety

no, she booked it, all her idea. and i was kind of expecting her to do what almost everyone else does, and have a big party where she could see all her friends, her family, and me on her birthday.

Reply 5

generalebriety

Anonymous

no, she booked it, all her idea. and i was kind of expecting her to do what almost everyone else does, and have a big party where she could see all her friends, her family, and me on her birthday.

Heh, you wanted her to see her boyfriend and her friends and her family? What kind of screwed up party was this going to be? Was her mum meant to go round watching her daughter drinking and messing around with you and hanging out with friends she doesn't approve of? Or were you all gonna sit around playing pass the parcel? Even if it had worked out, you sound like the sort of person who'd complain about her barely seeing you at all that night - which she would do, because there's a lot more of her friends and family than there is of you.

Anyway, stop being selfish. Don't "expect" her to do anything - tell her you're upset by all means but it is nothing to do with you and if she wanted to go to Ireland with her friend that's up to her. Just because "everyone else" does it, doesn't mean she has to.

On a slightly more consoling note, if you're really serious about her, you two have the rest of your lives to be together and birthdays really do mean nothing.

Reply 6

username47781

I think that is harsh what she has done when you made the effort to book a holiday. However that does not mean she'll be getting drunk and flirting outrageously while she is in Ireland.