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    Okay, I've been stressing myself over this stupid form for too long. Someone tell me whether they thing this is reasonable. I'm applying for mostly philosophy courses, but also two literature courses...

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    I have always been interested in how ideas develop and how we determine what we think is true. My interests in science, philosophy, literature and religion have been fermenting for many years and led my reading. My motivation to study philosophy and literature are based on my private study of both and study of literature at school during my A-levels.

    I recently left XYZ UNIVERSITY in ABCTOWN* after mistakenly starting a DEF-DEGREE course. I have learnt from my mistake and moved on to apply for courses that I am interested in.

    My specific interests involve how we know what truth is, and that has led me to read widely around the areas of science and scepticism, the Enlightenment period and how ideas are spread and suppressed. I have also used my website to discuss these topics with others, and has culminated in "Quackblog", a website I run to highlight issues on the topic of alternative medicine and New Age therapies. The philosophy of science and religion interest me, as do ethics and epistemology. I have read a number of the works of Friedrich Nietzsche, Plato and Bertrand Russell.

    I am also interested in a lot of twentieth-century literature, crossing a number of genres. Fantasy, science-fiction, social and political novels all interest me. I have been politically active, often lobbying for more sensible approaches toward politics.

    I have considered a number of career paths including teaching, journalism and non-fiction writing. In addition, further academic study is a possibility that I would consider. Critical analysis, written creativity and close reading are skills I hope to improve by further study, along with the added perspectives that such study will develop.
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    * I've omitted what university and course I've left to protect the guilty.

    Any advice would be gratefully recieved.
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    I can see a few ways to change it that would make it flow more, but I haven't corrected it as that would be rude (?) maybe....
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    Got a few thoughts which I'll post up, but before I start changing things, where are you thinking of applying and what exactly are the courses?
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    Okay, I'm thinking of applying for Heythrop-London (Philosophy), Kent (Philosophy), London Met (Philosophy), Westmin (Lit), Brighton (Eng Lang + Lit) and another Philosophy course that I can't remember off the top of my head. Location is of primary importance and I really want to study in London or within commutable distance of my home. And I have got all the grades necessary for the courses.
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    Thanks. I love writing. I just hate writing CV's, personal statements, covering letters, anything like that just bugs the living daylight out of me.
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    I wouldn't say "fermenting" though to me it sounds a little too weird but nothing in there is stupid at all; Do we have to mention a bit about our personal lives though? I read a few examples where they mention what they do to relax, so I think that would be useful. Good luck i am sure you deserve the place!
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    Hey, I have tried correcting your statement - be free to take the suggestions you like and forget about the rest. I am hoping to study philosophy at York this year so I have gone through the UCAS process and could answer any further questions you have.


    I have always been interested in how ideas develop (vague - what do you mean by this?) and how we determine what we think is true (how about - "how we acquire truth") My interests in science, philosophy, literature and religion have been fermenting (funny word - change to "growing" perhaps) for many years and led my reading (led my reading? You mean they "These interests sparked your interest for books"). Here you should tell them which books you have enjoyed in particular My motivation to study philosophy and literature are based on (Stemmed from?) my private study of both and (my) study of literature at school during my A-levels ("at A level" is better)

    I recently left XYZ UNIVERSITY in ABCTOWN* after mistakenly starting a DEF-DEGREE course. Be more specific. I have learnt from this mistake and moved on to apply for courses that I am interested in.

    My specific interests involve ("include" is better) how we know what truth is ("the definituon of truth"?), and that has led me to read widely around the areas of science and scepticism, the Enlightenment period and how ideas are spread and suppressed. I have also used my (own?) website (URL?)to discuss these topics with others, and (this) has culminated in "Quackblog", a website I run to highlight issues on the topic of alternative medicine and New Age therapies. The philosophy of science and religion interest me, as do ethics and epistemology. I have read a number of the works of Friedrich Nietzsche, Plato and Bertrand Russell.(name them)

    I am also interested in a lot of twentieth-century literature, crossing a number of genres. Fantasy, science-fiction, social and political novels all interest me. I have been politically active, often lobbying for more sensible approaches toward politics. ((name them and again - try to combine this paragraph with the last)

    I have considered a number of career paths including teaching, journalism and non-fiction writing. In addition, further academic study is a possibility that I would consider. (be more enthusiastic about this path - it'll show interest in your subject) Critical analysis, written creativity and close reading are skills I hope to improve by further study, along with the added perspectives that such study will develop.

    Other things you may address:

    - What about other hobbies?
    - What do you like about philosophy? Why is it important?
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    (Original post by Pencil Queen)
    I think you need more explaination about why university xyz was a mistake and WHAT you've learned from it
    While Pencil Queen has a point, I was in a similar situation to you, after withdrawing from a Maths and Physics degree, I applied to do Computer Science, only mentioning the previous degree in the "Education" section, as I felt I wanted to use the space to focus more on why I wanted to do the new degree as opposed to why I left the old one.

    I hoped that I could write a good enough statement to secure interviews, and then defend myself over withdrawing if necessary.
    I applied to 4 universities, all to read Computer Science and the results were

    2 Offers without interview
    2 Interviews, of which 1 lead to an offer and 1 lead to a rejection

    Whether I was lucky, I do not know, but the personal statement achieved what I needed it to, without mentioning the previous degree. I am now just counting the days till I return to the wonderful world of academia!
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    It is a fairly good statement, though I believe Adhsur has many valid points about improving it.
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    here's a few things i reckon might be worth mentioning:

    out of school activities
    Work experience/job
    social, sports or leisure interests

    it might show how you manage your time well...blah blah. Other than that, I'd just say follow Adhsur's tips!!

    Good luck with it
    • Thread Starter
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    Thanks very much for your advice. It got me a place at my first choice.
 
 
 
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