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    Hey, this may sound really silly but is it wrong to be concerned about the age of your sister's boyfriend? I mean don't get me wrong I don't mind her dating someone, however he is 9 years older! Shes 18 and going to university this year, whilst her boyfriend is this unemployed 27 year old whom she met earlier this year (I think they met in the choir). I mean I don't think being a few year older is anything really but this guy is beginning to bald!

    I'm also well a bit concerned because my sister never really had a boyfriend before.... which is a bit surprising (according to her friends ). I feel that she is dating him because she doesn't want to be single and the fact she was bullied over her weight when she was younger and hence the feeling of being unable to get a BF. I remember her sobbing and only telling me how miserable she was a few years ago. Whilst I want her to be happy I feel her BF isin't really in it for a long term relationship. I remember him telling me when he was drunk (ok I wanted to get some things out of him and bought him lots of drinks) he said that he had numerous failed relationships and more importantly he says the relationship will not really be a long term thing.......

    I know I shouldn't be interfering in her relationship but I don't want her being all upset again (unlike my older sister who hates him). But I am a little worried because of the things he said to me when he was drunk and it does get me a little worried....... what should I do or should I just leave things as it is.
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    You misused "whom".

    It's fine to be concerned, but it's wrong to be concerned to the point where you want to do something about it yourself. She's legal and she's an adult, and she can do what she wants. I know 16-year-olds who are beginning to go bald, 27 isn't old at all - god, when my brother's 18 I'll be 31. Maybe she's never had a boyfriend before because she's too mature for them (and let's face it, if anyone's gonna be mature it's a 27-year-old chorister - better that than a 16-year-old McDonald's worker, no?). You're perfectly entitled to tell her what you think but she may well ignore you, and you can't make her do anything.

    Edit: oops, bad phrasing.
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    I think you should just try and be happy for her. Obviously it may be hard as she is your sister and you obviously care about her and her welfare. But make sure she knows that you are there to help her out and speak to if she needs it.

    I think the best thing you can do is just make sure she is happy and offer support if she needs it. Try not to make things difficult with the guy as this may annoy your sister and make her unhappy.

    The most important thing you can do is just be there for her as her brother.

    It's good that you care about her welfare!
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    its up to her at the end of the day. if you feel you need to tell her what he has said then thats down to. personally i wouldnt. its her life and shes chosen this relationship.
    if you really want to do something try talking to her about why she started it. dont make it sound like an interrogation. more like a chat
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    My friend's going out with a 35 yr old, and she's 18. Can't post public because she's on here and so are alot of other friends.

    But they're fine, he's actually a decent guy and he takes care of all of us. Admittedly I'd prefer if he was younger, but he does make her happy and she's always gone for the older bloke.
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    I'm 20 and seeing a 32 year old, yet I have higher hopes for this relationship than with my ex who was my age. Really the issue shouldn't be about the age. You are allowed to have concerns about your sister's choice of man..but don't assume all the problems are age related. x
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    She's old enough to take care of herself. Obviously keep an eye on it, but I don't think you have anything to worry about.
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    well, I'm 19 and there are 9 years between my boyfriend and I. I don't think the age is anything to worry about, unless your sister is really naive or something. The unemployed thing is a bit more worrying, as he could be a bit of a waster. I don't think she'd thank you for getting involved though. She's not a baby after-all. You could perhaps quietly say, so how are you and .... getting along but I wouldn't start expressing your concerns about him because she may hate you for that. You could even say something along the lines of, make sure you move t your own pace, don't feel rushed into things etc, but nothing more detailed. In this day and age the age gap is pretty commonplace, but there are always people who enter into relationships for all the wrong reasons and naive or hopeful people who fall for them. Just don't interfere too much, but make sure she knows you are there for her, and that she shouldn't rush into things.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My friend's going out with a 35 yr old, and she's 18. Can't post public because she's on here
    To be honest, I doubt there are that many 18 year olds dating 35 years olds on TSR so your friends will be able to tell it's you posting.:p:
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    She is 18 and if things don't work out she is young enough to get up, dust herself off and eventually get with another guy. Maybe she is simply using this relationship for experience?

    You never know, she may go to Uni and forget about him ???? However I don't think you should say anything to her, she'll learn for herself. Jesus, if I had a penny everytime my bro & sis got into dodgy relationships...!!!!
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    (Original post by helenkr)
    well, I'm 19 and there are 9 years between my boyfriend and I. I don't think the age is anything to worry about, unless your sister is really naive or something. The unemployed thing is a bit more worrying, as he could be a bit of a waster. I don't think she'd thank you for getting involved though. She's not a baby after-all. You could perhaps quietly say, so how are you and .... getting along but I wouldn't start expressing your concerns about him because she may hate you for that. You could even say something along the lines of, make sure you move t your own pace, don't feel rushed into things etc, but nothing more detailed. In this day and age the age gap is pretty commonplace, but there are always people who enter into relationships for all the wrong reasons and naive or hopeful people who fall for them. Just don't interfere too much, but make sure she knows you are there for her, and that she shouldn't rush into things.
    Haha that explains it all :rolleyes:.
 
 
 
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