Turn on thread page Beta

Does this count as emotional abuse? watch

Announcements
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Hi,

    I feel really bad even writing this but I hadn't really heard of emotional/psychological/mental abuse before and when I did it sort of hit met that it was similar in some aspects to my situation. I'm transgender (ftm) and I came out to my parents recently (not publicly just family). Would you count this as emotional abuse if it were a parent?

    They never ask me how my day was anymore or what homework I've got etc which I know not all parents do but they used to and now they only ask my brother.
    They make me feel (they don't directly say) that I'm unwanted and I'm an embarrassment and a disappointment.
    I get a lot of the blame/verbal when they're stressed - they always say/make me aware (through loud sighs and talking particularly loudly to make sure I hear) that I'm the reason they're stressed and I'm the reason they don't sleep and I'm the reason my brother has to put up with comments at school. They also say I'm the reason their work mates never invite them out to meals (even though they never did before anyway) and that I'm the reason our neighbours don't talk to us much.
    They never talk to me in the same way anymore, we never laugh or have fun, they always just sound angry and like I'm the cause of all their problems when they do talk to me - they only usually talk to me when they feel they should (in public) or when they want me to help with something.
    They also never make eye contact with me anymore and the thought of being with them without my brother makes me really anxious.

    Do you think this is similar to emotional abuse or should I just man-up/accept that actually all of this is my fault?

    Thanks
    Offline

    7
    ReputationRep:
    If they are discriminating against you, treating you differently than the rest of your family, then yes. You have nothing to be ashamed of. My advice would be to stay positive, love yourself, show you are proud of who you are. You don't need anyone's approval. If your parents see you as being afraid of what others think, they might feel afraid of what others think too if they're not strong enough to support no matter what, so your positive attitude could help them be positive too.

    It might be an idea to speak to your school if you need support or would like someone to talk to your parents about their behaviour towards you too.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Beherit95)
    If they are discriminating against you, treating you differently than the rest of your family, then yes. You have nothing to be ashamed of. My advice would be to stay positive, love yourself, show you are proud of who you are. You don't need anyone's approval. If your parents see you as being afraid of what others think, they might feel afraid of what others think too if they're not strong enough to support no matter what, so your positive attitude could help them be positive too.

    It might be an idea to speak to your school if you need support or would like someone to talk to your parents about their behaviour towards you too.
    Thank you
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    It's hard to tell from that as it really depends on the extent. Personally I think emotional abuse perhaps isn't the best way to view this at the moment because of the situation you're in with coming out. I'm not saying for a second it's your fault or you deserve it but this is obviously hard for your parents to deal with. Making you feel unwelcome isn't fair but it's perhaps understandable that they feel conscious of the way they, you and your brother are being viewed and are worried about how this will affect their lives - I'm sure you've experienced some of those worries yourself. Could you try and talk to them about how they are making you feel? Try and explain that you don't want to make things hard for them and anything which is hard for them is 10x harder for you so you need them to understand that it's not a choice and it's just really necessary for you to be happy. I don't know if there are any support services particularly for people in your position but they might be able to give you some good advice on talking to your family as well.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: July 31, 2016
Poll
Do you think parents should charge rent?
Useful resources

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.