My mum is being really racist towards my boyfriend - is there anything I can do? Watch

Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 2 years ago
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So I just overheard my parents having an argument because my dad is disgusted with the way she's treating my boyfriend. To be fair she's being pleasant to his face, but behind his back it's all snide comments. The first time I brought him home, she told me after that she was shocked, and I asked why? and she said: 'you can't see why I'm shocked?' I said 'no...' she said 'he's chinese!!!!'

I just don't understand he's a really good person, he can't help that he's chinese and even if he could help it, why not to choose to be chinese? When I tried asking she said it's because he's not jewish... but she's never behaved like this towards my white, christian/ atheist exes.

Is there anything I can do? Or is she a lost cause being racist her whole life. I hate how it's making my parents argue now too.
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Geromi912
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what does she have against chinese people?
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YaliaV
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What snide comments has she made? What has your dad said? Your mum's stinking attitude is making your parents argue - it isn't your fault. Tell your mum that she just has to accept that he's your boyfriend and that you don't want to hear any more negative comments about him.
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kkboyk
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So I just overheard my parents having an argument because my dad is disgusted with the way she's treating my boyfriend. To be fair she's being pleasant to his face, but behind his back it's all snide comments. The first time I brought him home, she told me after that she was shocked, and I asked why? and she said: 'you can't see why I'm shocked?' I said 'no...' she said 'he's chinese!!!!'

I just don't understand he's a really good person, he can't help that he's chinese and even if he could help it, why not to choose to be chinese? When I tried asking she said it's because he's not jewish... but she's never behaved like this towards my white, christian/ atheist exes.

Is there anything I can do? Or is she a lost cause being racist her whole life. I hate how it's making my parents argue now too.
I've experienced this (except it wasn't from my parents but from my girlfriend's parent). There really isn't much you can do to change their behaviour unfortunately (especially since she is your mother, and will use that fact against you), and if I was you I really wouldn't bring him home as it would just strain your relationship with your mother (unless you want that).
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tcameron
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Has she actually said anything negative about him being Chinese? Being shocked that he's of a different race isn't necessarily being racist
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TSR Mustafa
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Wonder what she has against Chinese people
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TelAviv
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Tell her your goyfriend is going to convert and then you'll make aliyah together

(Lie)
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Unreal1342
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Chinese is not a race. She's being xenophobic.
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viffer
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Maybe it is an 'honour' thing among her Jewish peers? Unless you are Orthodox Jews she could have bluffed a normal looking* IC1 to her friends but harder if he's different looking. Assuming their aren't many Chinese Jews*

* Wording chosen to illustrate the point before any SJWs jump on it from a great height
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Atlas Thugged
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Maybe remind her of how intelligent Chinese people are.
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Atlas Thugged
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(Original post by viffer)
Maybe it is an 'honour' thing among her Jewish peers? Unless you are Orthodox Jews she could have bluffed a normal looking* IC1 to her friends but harder if he's different looking. Assuming their aren't many Chinese Jews*

* Wording chosen to illustrate the point before any SJWs jump on it from a great height
I had no idea this code was a thing in this country, I'm now going to refer to myself as ''The Icy One'' at all times :cool:
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Anonymous #2
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tell her we are all humans and we all bleed the same. Different ethnicities don't mean that people can't be together.
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Atlas Thugged
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(Original post by Anonymous)
tell her we are all humans and we all bleed the same. Different ethnicities don't mean that people can't be together.
As much as I dislike racism, I don't see how this works. I'm sure my dog has the same colour blood as I do, it doesn't mean I'm planning on marrying her.
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Atlas Thugged
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oh hai, do u fink i am brootiful?

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Napp
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Unlikelyto change her mind on it if she doesn't like other races then evidence suggests she will forever not like them.

All one can think is making sure she keeps to the rules of etiquette and is polite to his face and not bad mouthing him around you, have a word with her over it see what her problem is and lay out a few basic ground rules about her behaviour.
I did have a friend of a friend who simply left home over something similar [being gay] due to her parents refusal to accept it.
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subject1
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(Original post by Atlas Thugged)
As much as I dislike racism, I don't see how this works. I'm sure my dog has the same colour blood as I do, it doesn't mean I'm planning on marrying her.
But a dog is a different species.
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