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    Right, there's a girl I'm nuts about. I told her my feelings and stuff and we've been talking about it for weeks. Last night we had an interesting chat on MSN, and she said some stuff that basically summarised how she feels:

    "tbh and i am being completely so here - you wouldn't have been wrong for me you would have kept me down to earth and level and so forth. however my problem lay in how i'd deal with that. i know myself pretty well and i know i would have taken you for granted and treated you appallingly and turned into something i'm not in a desperate attempt not to be hurt"

    "so i wouldn't have been right for you - i know this - what i wanted was a guy that would stand up to me and have this backbone and so forth so i wouldn't get attached and stuff because i wouldn't be getting what i want"

    Damnit this just hurts so bad. The anguish I've just constantly had the last 10 weeks since we had our original chat is just unbearable, and this just does little to help really. She's into me but she basically thinks she'd end up taking me for granted (as she seems to be with her current guy by making him the one to visit and she hasn't spoken to him in a week). Damnit that's a risk I wanna take anyway. I just have no idea what to do really...
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    Well, you could tell her it's a risk you're prepared to take. It sounds to me like she likes you too much to want to hurt you though. The final decision lies with her.
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    So basically she likes to be treated a bit badly by a guy? You are "too nice" for her? She's scared that because you are so nice that she'll end up hurting you?

    As general said, tell her that you are willing to take that chance/risk. If she still doesn't change her mind, I don't think there is much you can do. Which obviously sucks, but give it time and you'll feel a bit better about things.

    You said she is already with a guy? In all honesty, do you want to be with someone who will possibly cheat/talk about being with another guy, while she is with you? As this is what she is doing with her current guy.

    Speak to her. If she doesn't want you, try your best to move on and forget about her. Cut contact and stuff, see your friends, distract yourself etc.

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    Basically, she's with him as a casual thing and it's not that serious.
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    it sounds to me like she's making excuses not to be with you?! sorry to be harsh but i don't see her reasons as very valid.
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    I don't think she really wants you to be honest, although how any girl likes to be treated badly by a guy is beyond me.
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    How odd!

    i can't understand those reasons at all and from that I can't understand why you like her as she seems to be messing you about a bit but if I'm wrong and you really do like her then say you don't care and you want to take a chance with her because you really like her!

    Good luck.
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    We've been friends for a while and we have an incredibly honest relationship, so I believe her. I've repeatedly asked if it's just that she's not attracted to me, but she insists that she is, but the aforementioned hang-ups are the problem, which sucks. If she said she wasn't attracted to me then I could move on and stop being in this perpetual limbo.
 
 
 
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