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Did you ever think you'd never get a BF/GF? watch

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    I'm 19 now and I haven't done anything with a girl. I know that there are girls who like me and I'm not concerned my physical appearance will ever be an issue (I only mentioned this so you knew).

    But, because I find the thought of kissing/having a relationship so awkward/nerve racking, I feel I will never even get a girlfriend/kiss a girl.

    Did you ever think this way?
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    Yeah, I'm an 18 year old girl and I find the idea of kissing a boy terrifying...let alone losing my virginity etc.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah, I'm an 18 year old girl and I find the idea of kissing a boy terrifying...let alone losing my virginity etc.
    Do you think it's the fear that is holding you back too?
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    I was forever alone until around 19, at which point I turned my whole personality around, grew a pair and it was never an issue again. Its all mind set. To be honest, you realise that finding a relationship or someone to shag is the easy part. Most people are actually pretty nice, most people are a bit lonely inside and want to have sex and cuddle on a sunday watching netflix. Most people are pretty insecure, even if they're outwardly confident, its why you see people flock towards confident seeming people, they're all just craving that stability, that assurance that everything will be ok.

    It's finding someone who loves you the way you love them that is the difficult thing, someone who empowers and inspires you.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Do you think it's the fear that is holding you back too?
    Yes, I think so. I just feel like I will never successfully find a boyfriend because I find it all so terrifying.
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    I think it's safe to say I never will lol, unless my face changes dramatically
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    Yeah I feel that way!
    I'm 18 (19 in a couple months) and things aren't improving as such.
    But ah well, there's no telling what the future will hold!
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    Yeah I felt this way for years. I was always the girl that people chose last at the school dance lessons, I never got asked out, never got flirted with so never had much experience with the opposite sex and then the fact I suffered from bad anxiety problems made me even less confident about finding someone I would feel comfortable to be with both in a romantic and sexual setting. So I was pretty sure I would be single forever or at least to a pretty mature age because I find it hard to settle with people and get wound up and anxious over the slightest thing and relationships can be stressful, even good relationships can be and I didn't know if I'd be able to handle it.

    But eventually I did meet someone and it's been going from strength to strength over the years so don't give up hope. I'm one of those soppy gits that believes there's someone out there for everyone





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    (Original post by Double Agent)
    I was forever alone until around 19, at which point I turned my whole personality around, grew a pair and it was never an issue again. Its all mind set. To be honest, you realise that finding a relationship or someone to shag is the easy part. Most people are actually pretty nice, most people are a bit lonely inside and want to have sex and cuddle on a sunday watching netflix. Most people are pretty insecure, even if they're outwardly confident, its why you see people flock towards confident seeming people, they're all just craving that stability, that assurance that everything will be ok.

    It's finding someone who loves you the way you love them that is the difficult thing, someone who empowers and inspires you.
    I 100% agree with what you have said, I'm sure confidence is the difference between my currently situation and me having girls surrounding me.

    Thing is, I have anxiety issues so It's hard to just 'grow one'. Especially as my anxiety is subconscious meaning that I can't just tell myself to grow some. I'm actually a very confident guy consciously, but as soon as I approach a scenario my subconscious doesn't like, my body panics.

    One New Years Eve for example I noticed two girls at a dinner, I spoke to them afterwards and offered to buy them a drink. I didn't consciously feel scared at all, but then out of nowhere I just remember myself running to the toilet before throwing up everywhere hahaha
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    Yepp I feel like that and I know I will never.

    I'm happy with my cats. :emog:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yes, I think so. I just feel like I will never successfully find a boyfriend because I find it all so terrifying.
    Message me (That way you can stay anonymous to everyone else). I reckon we can help each other out by sharing our thinking.
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    Yup 24, still haven't had a relationship

    Oh well.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm 19 now and I haven't done anything with a girl. I know that there are girls who like me and I'm not concerned my physical appearance will ever be an issue (I only mentioned this so you knew).

    But, because I find the thought of kissing/having a relationship so awkward/nerve racking, I feel I will never even get a girlfriend/kiss a girl.

    Did you ever think this way?
    Don't worry, the right girl will **** that shyness out of you!
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    welkum 2 klub
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    (Original post by Spock's Socks)
    Yeah I felt this way for years. I was always the girl that people chose last at the school dance lessons, I never got asked out, never got flirted with so never had much experience with the opposite sex and then the fact I suffered from bad anxiety problems made me even less confident about finding someone I would feel comfortable to be with both in a romantic and sexual setting. So I was pretty sure I would be single forever or at least to a pretty mature age because I find it hard to settle with people and get wound up and anxious over the slightest thing and relationships can be stressful, even good relationships can be and I didn't know if I'd be able to handle it.

    But eventually I did meet someone and it's been going from strength to strength over the years so don't give up hope. I'm one of those soppy gits that believes there's someone out there for everyone

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    Thank you!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm 19 now and I haven't done anything with a girl. I know that there are girls who like me and I'm not concerned my physical appearance will ever be an issue (I only mentioned this so you knew).

    But, because I find the thought of kissing/having a relationship so awkward/nerve racking, I feel I will never even get a girlfriend/kiss a girl.

    Did you ever think this way?
    Not really, I had my first kiss when I was 15 and I've lots of opportunities to be in relationships since I've just never been interested in it
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    (Original post by undercxver)
    Yepp I feel like that and I know I will never.

    I'm happy with my cats. :emog:

    Don't say that. :cry2:
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    I used to think that all the time... At one point it became really unhealthy because all I did was stress over the fact that I'd never had an actual boyfriend. All I could ever do was land dates, but never get over that next hurdle. Looking back now, it was very silly. I was young, and didn't realise that I have all the time in the world to have a boyfriend. It'll happen at the right time. I've realised that the best things come to you when you least expect it. So I stopped seeking for a relationship... and well, now I'm on the right path I'm almost 21 now.
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    I have had a girlfriend for a year now and think she's the one. Once you know you know
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I 100% agree with what you have said, I'm sure confidence is the difference between my currently situation and me having girls surrounding me.

    Thing is, I have anxiety issues so It's hard to just 'grow one'. Especially as my anxiety is subconscious meaning that I can't just tell myself to grow some. I'm actually a very confident guy consciously, but as soon as I approach a scenario my subconscious doesn't like, my body panics.

    One New Years Eve for example I noticed two girls at a dinner, I spoke to them afterwards and offered to buy them a drink. I didn't consciously feel scared at all, but then out of nowhere I just remember myself running to the toilet before throwing up everywhere hahaha

    I've been there mate, I was too anxious to answer the phone or open the door to the post man, let alone go outside. I was nearly sectioned because of the depression that came from it. Anxiety is a cycle, the only way to cure yourself is to break the cycle of avoidance behaviours you exhibit. I wrote a super long post about it a couple years back if you need more help.

    EDIT: Here is the link to my guide to overcome social anxiety/shyness if anyone's interested. It's a subject I've written about extensively and am happy to work with people on if they want to PM and chat

    http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/wiki...ty_and_shyness
 
 
 
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