Turn on thread page Beta
    • #1
    • Thread Starter

    We've been together a few months. He's lovely and trustworthy, but I feel like I'm the only one making plans, talking about the future, leading the conversation all the time.. I want him to step up and do this now. A couple months ago I told him I feel like I'm making all the plans, so he made one day out, then it was left up to me again. Is this normal to have to ask someone to put in effort to make plans?

    NB, I'm not leaving him, we're in love. Just he depends on me to do everything then when I pull away, very little happens. He's not losing interest, just too dependent on me. What else can I say or do to get him to step up and put in more effort?

    some people just don't change, it doesn't mean they don't care or don't want to make effort, it might be they're bad at planning, think you're better, are worried about making bad plans etc or it might just not occur to them... other people might gradually get the hang of it after regular reminders

    you just need to decide how much effort you want to invest in trying to change his behaviour and then give it a go
    • Very Important Poster

    Very Important Poster
    You may find that his idea of a relationship is different to yours. I think you need to talk to him and tell him what it is you really want from him.
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: August 1, 2016
Favourite type of bread
Useful resources

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.