We've been together a few months. He's lovely and trustworthy, but I feel like I'm the only one making plans, talking about the future, leading the conversation all the time.. I want him to step up and do this now. A couple months ago I told him I feel like I'm making all the plans, so he made one day out, then it was left up to me again. Is this normal to have to ask someone to put in effort to make plans?
NB, I'm not leaving him, we're in love. Just he depends on me to do everything then when I pull away, very little happens. He's not losing interest, just too dependent on me. What else can I say or do to get him to step up and put in more effort?
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Effort declining in relationship watch
- Thread Starter
- 26-07-2016 19:37
- 31-07-2016 23:40
some people just don't change, it doesn't mean they don't care or don't want to make effort, it might be they're bad at planning, think you're better, are worried about making bad plans etc or it might just not occur to them... other people might gradually get the hang of it after regular reminders
you just need to decide how much effort you want to invest in trying to change his behaviour and then give it a go
Offline22ReputationRep:Very Important Poster
- Very Important Poster
- 01-08-2016 06:22
You may find that his idea of a relationship is different to yours. I think you need to talk to him and tell him what it is you really want from him.