Ok...are you ready for this?
*I broke up with my ex of 5 years 9 months ago, and started throwing myself into the dating scene and sting casually, seeing other guys and basically having fun! 3 months ago I met a guy I wanted something casual with on tinder, we got chatted and ended up going for a drink and having a drunken fumble after! Morning after and he had also had a rough break up with his ex very recently (8 years together!) and we had a really intense chat, talk and agreed that neither of us is ready for a relationship but actually, we get on really well as friends. We didn't want to do the FWB thing with each other as we both actually got on and respected each other enough not want that. He said he wasn't ready to date and I just wanted a bit of fun so we left it there.
*Since then what has happened is a really beautiful and close friendship. We text and chat daily, he sends me good morning texts first thing, tell each other about our days, go on mate dates 2-3 times a week. He knows me inside and out and vis versa. We often get mistaken as a couple when out and about and our friends don't seem to get why we are not together. I obviously still fancy him as we met clearly being attracted to each other and the bond we've created certainly hasn't helped keep this friendship (for me) platonic. This weekend we are heading on a city break together where we are seeing a burlesque show and theatre show. To save on costs we have got a room and bed to share together with the idea we will use a pillow fort or just be adults about it! A few things have been running through my mind and issues have cropped up I could do with some advice on -
1) Hes started seeing a girl on a casual basis for a month or so now. He states he doesn't want a relationship with her and has had to remind her a few times to cool it down with him as she would be a bit of a bunny boiler (his words, not mine!). However despite what he's saying he is clearly spending a lot of time with this girl and she is certainly acting on social media as if this is not just something 'casua' but talking about how they have had nights in together, going to the zoo etc. He doesn't really talk about her with me and gets a bit awkward when I bring it up. I'm a little bit confused- my gut feeling is asking if he IS ready for a relationship then why not me? What's wrong with me?
*I had a chat with him about my concerns and whilst he met saying he really does like me and wants to spend time and be with me, he's very aware he isn't ready for anything and doesn't want to do anything rash or stupid. I'm too good to be messed around right now and if anything does ever happen with us he wants it to be when we are both ready as I'm one of his favourite people. I took this at face value, appreciated honesty and carried on being his friend whilst knowing we both clearly like each other, it's just not the right time. Im just confused about him and this girl. He says it is nothing and casual yet despite moaning about her to me he's carrying on seeing her and certainly she's posting things on social media that are very 'coupley' .
I do feel that if he is exploring a relationship with this woman, whilst I'm happy he is happy I I am simply going to need some time apart to get over my feelings and move on rather than 'hanging on' and waiting for him. I have still been dating and seeing others but it has been hard comparing everyone to him . How do I have this conversation with him? He gets awkward when talking about her and I feel he doesn't want to tell me the whole picture.
*2) So we are on our city break- do I just make a move on him? If so, how? Just roll over in bed and kiss him?! Or is this being stupid. I'm feeling ready in myself to start to commit to someone and we had dinner tonight and I felt such a rush of affection and attraction for my friend. Of course whether I make the move depends on what is happening with his 'casua girlfriend' .
*Help me out and tell me whether you think I'm being played for like a fool by this guy?
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Can't sleep- fallen in love with best friend watch
- Thread Starter
- 27-07-2016 04:08