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    I've been with my boyfriend for 2 1/2 years and we've always had a bit of a poor sex life. We've talked about it many times but things have never got better. Recently he went to the doctors to address his low sex drive and after testing everything they said there's nothing physically wrong and referred him for counselling.

    I saw an article pop up on the internet at the weekend about asexuality and showed it to him. He seems to relate to everything on there and is now starting to realise he may be asexual. He said he has no interest in having sex (although when we do he says he enjoys it) and he is not sexually attracted to me, or anyone.

    I'm having a REALLY hard time getting my head around it all and feel like I'm not supporting him properly while he goes through this incredibly hard experience. I feel like my world is crashing around my ears. We were planning our lives together and thinking about getting married and starting a family and all I can think is that it's not going to happen. I can't envisage a life with someone who doesn't 'want me', despite the fact I adore him.

    Anyone been through a similar experience or would just like to offer advice?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've been with my boyfriend for 2 1/2 years and we've always had a bit of a poor sex life. We've talked about it many times but things have never got better. Recently he went to the doctors to address his low sex drive and after testing everything they said there's nothing physically wrong and referred him for counselling.

    I saw an article pop up on the internet at the weekend about asexuality and showed it to him. He seems to relate to everything on there and is now starting to realise he may be asexual. He said he has no interest in having sex (although when we do he says he enjoys it) and he is not sexually attracted to me, or anyone.

    I'm having a REALLY hard time getting my head around it all and feel like I'm not supporting him properly while he goes through this incredibly hard experience. I feel like my world is crashing around my ears. We were planning our lives together and thinking about getting married and starting a family and all I can think is that it's not going to happen. I can't envisage a life with someone who doesn't 'want me', despite the fact I adore him.

    Anyone been through a similar experience or would just like to offer advice?
    You should understand that just because he isn't sexually attracted to you doesn't mean that he can't emotionally love you. It also doesn't mean that you can't have children together either. As you have said you still do it together you just don't think he's that good.

    So if you still love him the there isn't a problem, maybe you should try and teach him how to make you happy? But if you can't get over this then don't lead him on and end it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've been with my boyfriend for 2 1/2 years and we've always had a bit of a poor sex life. We've talked about it many times but things have never got better. Recently he went to the doctors to address his low sex drive and after testing everything they said there's nothing physically wrong and referred him for counselling.

    I saw an article pop up on the internet at the weekend about asexuality and showed it to him. He seems to relate to everything on there and is now starting to realise he may be asexual. He said he has no interest in having sex (although when we do he says he enjoys it) and he is not sexually attracted to me, or anyone.

    I'm having a REALLY hard time getting my head around it all and feel like I'm not supporting him properly while he goes through this incredibly hard experience. I feel like my world is crashing around my ears. We were planning our lives together and thinking about getting married and starting a family and all I can think is that it's not going to happen. I can't envisage a life with someone who doesn't 'want me', despite the fact I adore him.

    Anyone been through a similar experience or would just like to offer advice?
    I'm asexual as well. Do you still have that article that you showed him? I think I may need it

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    Thanks for the advice. Just to clarify, I probably didn't word it well but our poor sex life is down to the frequency, not because he's bad at it. He's not, he's great! It just doesn't happen often.

    I do still love him very much and I know he loves me too, but it's the fact that he's not attracted to me that's the issue. I want to be desired and feel like someone wants me physically.

    Hearing the love of my life tell me he doesn't fancy me was a bit of a kick in the gut. I know he feels like that about everyone and never finds anyone attractive but it's the fact he doesn't fancy me specifically that's the problem!
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    I can't say I understand the concept of asexuality, but a highly sexual person myself, but I think I can understand how this would make you feel. I would imagine it's almost the same as feeling undesirable, which I can certainly relate to.

    My advice would be to think about your relationship and your attachment to each other. How is everything else between you? If all else is fine and you have that emotionally/spiritual connection, I don't think it should matter in the long run. Remember, he enjoys sex with you; he desires you as a person and appreciates the sexuality you have between you both, it's only because he's not a very sexual person does he have this low sex drive. He IS attracted to you.
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    tbh asexuality seems like an easy thing to get over

    "okay my partner wants this and when i actually do it i like it so lets make some kind of routine to solve the problem"


    simple
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    (Original post by banterboy)
    tbh asexuality seems like an easy thing to get over

    "okay my partner wants this and when i actually do it i like it so lets make some kind of routine to solve the problem"


    simple
    In this context yes that may work but asexuality isn't something to just "get over" and not every asexual person is sex-positive, many asexuals don't want to have sex under any circumstances.
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    (Original post by Tailsthefoxx)
    In this context yes that may work but asexuality isn't something to just "get over" and not every asexual person is sex-positive, many asexuals don't want to have sex under any circumstances.
    those ones shouldnt be getting into relationships with non asexuals tbh
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    nice
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    hi are you also upset because you are not sexually fulfilled and want to have more sex to satisfy yourself?
 
 
 
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