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is it shallow to reject someone on looks watch

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    so if someone you knew really well and liked spending time with asked you out, and you said no, because you are not physically attracted to them, you aren't shallow right? isn't that the defining difference between a friend and a potential lover? it doesn't make you a bad person does it?
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    Very shallow, give the uggers people a chance
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    (Original post by upperechelon)
    so if someone you knew really well and liked spending time with asked you out, and you said no, because you are not physically attracted to them, you aren't shallow right? isn't that the defining difference between a friend and a potential lover? it doesn't make you a bad person does it?
    Definitely not - what's the point of dating them if you're not attracted to them?? Like you said, that's the main difference between friend and bf/gf - attraction.
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    Not at all, physical attraction is part of the relationship and just because you value that one aspect of it, doesn't mean it's the only thing you care about.
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    No, don't feel bad about it.
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    No as you can't help it if you don't find someone physically attractive. Although one of my exes I wasn't immediately attracted to, but the more I got to know him the more I fancied him.
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    No that is shallow. How would you feel if you were rejected based on how you look? Physical attraction isn't everything, love grows and you become attracted to them physically later on in the relationship.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    No that is shallow. How would you feel if you were rejected based on how you look? Physical attraction isn't everything, love grows and you become attracted to them physically later on in the relationship.
    This is what I felt initially. He is not hideous, I'm just not attracted to him. But if physical attraction isn't important how do you distinguish between a lover and a friend? I honestly don't think I would be able to engage in any kind of relations with him
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    (Original post by Atlas Thugged)
    That's retarded, you could easily say the same to guys who refuse to get with chubby girls.

    Your comment is retarded. I have been with chubby girls, girls with acne etc. I love someones spirit and personality which leads me to being physically and sexually attracted to them.. (obviously not at first sight, but it grew). If you don't give them a chance based on how they look or how they dress..then that is shallow. Same as if you reject someone based on their race or economic background. Just saying man.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    No that is shallow. How would you feel if you were rejected based on how you look? Physical attraction isn't everything, love grows and you become attracted to them physically later on in the relationship.
    Also I am quite into health and fitness etc, and would like someone who similarly likes to take care of their body. He does not share this ethos of mine
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Your comment is retarded. I have been with chubby girls, girls with acne etc. I love someones spirit and personality which leads me to being physically and sexually attracted to them.. (obviously not at first sight, but it grew). If you don't give them a chance based on how they look or how they dress..then that is shallow. Same as if you reject someone based on their race or economic background. Just saying man.
    The fact that you're talking about them as if they have a disease is very questionable imo.


    Racial preferences are normal and if a woman were to reject me because I wasn't wealthy enough to provide her with the life she's used to, I would accept that. I really hate this culture of guilt tripping people.
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    (Original post by upperechelon)
    Also I am quite into health and fitness etc, and would like someone who similarly likes to take care of their body. He does not share this ethos of mine
    So help him...? Go gym together. Nothing gets you more stimulated than exercising. Actually you know what? Just reject him lol.
    He deserves better. No one is perfect.
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    Going purely on the question title (rejecting based on looks) I'd have said yes. If you're rejecting someone just because you don't think they look good and not taking anything else into consideration that's shallow.

    However with the details in the OP (which don't really match the title) this doesn't sound shallow. Rejecting someone based on looks vs rejecting someone because you don't find them physically attractive despite everything else are not the same thing.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So help him...? Go gym together. Nothing gets you more stimulated than exercising. Actually you know what? Just reject him lol.
    He deserves better. No one is perfect.
    What would you say to the guy if there was another girl who liked him?
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    (Original post by Atlas Thugged)
    The fact that you're talking about them as if they have a disease is very questionable imo.


    Racial preferences are normal and if a woman were to reject me because I wasn't wealthy enough to provide her with the life she's used to, I would accept that. I really hate this culture of guilt tripping people.
    What culture of guilt tripping? Just getting people to get off their high horses. Unfortunately TV, media and magazines have warped the mentality of both men and women with what is physically attractive. Its unnatural and sets incredibly high standards. Also, you sound pretty submissive when you allow yourself to be used as a man-purse. Its not your job to pay for her life-style, are you seriously saying that its acceptable for a woman to go out with you based on the size of your wallet? Jeez its the 21st century she can go work ffs...equality and all...where are all the feminists??? Sort this kid out.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    What culture of guilt tripping? Just getting people to get off their high horses. Unfortunately TV, media and magazines have warped the mentality of both men and women with what is physically attractive. Its unnatural and sets incredibly high standards. Also, you sound pretty submissive when you allow yourself to be used as a man-purse. Its not your job to pay for her life-style, are you seriously saying that its acceptable for a woman to go out with you based on the size of your wallet? Jeez its the 21st century she can go work ffs...equality and all...where are all the feminists??? Sort this kid out.
    lol feminism
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    Not shallow, we all have prefences.

    Anyways personality can still make someone look more physically attractive eg. Confidence
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    what's the point of being with someone ur not attracted to
    waste of ur time and his time
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    What culture of guilt tripping? Just getting people to get off their high horses. Unfortunately TV, media and magazines have warped the mentality of both men and women with what is physically attractive. Its unnatural and sets incredibly high standards. Also, you sound pretty submissive when you allow yourself to be used as a man-purse. Its not your job to pay for her life-style, are you seriously saying that its acceptable for a woman to go out with you based on the size of your wallet? Jeez its the 21st century she can go work ffs...equality and all...where are all the feminists??? Sort this kid out.
    I have a friend who was given a 70k car before they could drive, a shift in Tesco's doesn't exactly cover that :rofl: I'm not trying to be nasty, but if I were overweight or ugly and said to my mum why can't I get girls, she should tell me it's because I'm fat and I would use that as motivation to lose weight. My mind is blown that I'm having this conversation with someone.


    Also I am a feminist and these things are not mutually exclusive.
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    (Original post by Atlas Thugged)
    What would you say to the guy if there was another girl who liked him?
    To be open minded, accepting of people and give it a go! Honestly, from my experience I would say if you don't give people a chance you really do miss out. I went out with a girl with acne and she was bullied in secondary school and had really low self esteem. When I asked her out and she was very shy and quiet but after being together, she started to open up and she had the nicest singing voice i've ever heard. So little by little we started to working together and building confidence, and I fell harder and harder for her as she started to develop and lose her insecurities. It took a while but we got there and now she's running the gifted and talented music society. She regularly takes part in open mic nights etc. People need to be open. I got a lot of stick from people at uni when I was with her, but I didn't care because I know what I'm doing. Vile comments etc. Its not her fault that she looked the way she did. Same applies to this situation. OP give it a go! You don't know yet! You haven't even gone on a date!
 
 
 
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