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    #1

    I am 17 years old, a month ago I started to come to reality and I realized that I am a socially inadequate and socially awkward young man who has no friends. This also lead to me gaining body dismorphia, and low self esteem/insecure.

    However, I have been battling this and thankfully I am no longer insecure about my body, I still feel like I am a socially awkward loser tho and despite trying to socialise I am seeing no success.

    So then yesterday I couldnt sleep I am constantly thinking about dumb stuff I have done in the past, I talk to myself and I even swear at myself telling myself that the fact that I have no friends is my fault.

    But I am forcing myself not to care, however I am now easily agitated and toxic. I feel like i hate everyone, even people on this website. I dont care about making friends now and in my opinion most people can go **** themselves because I know they wouldnt care if i died or whatever.

    I want to go out there be happy, make a name for myself, improve myself.However my mind is full of hate,self doubt,lazy, bad habits. I feel like I am stuck although I knownthere is something big out there waiting for me. I know I am special, i have self belief but still nothing is happening or working for me. I still havent been able to find my talent/dream/passion.

    Lack of socialising makes this all worse, but noone wants to talk or hang out with me. So ohwell. Before this phase I used to be happy and cool. Just I have no idea now.
    • #2
    #2

    Don't worry so much, man. Some people are complete idiots who make it awkward for you to talk much. Probably along the way people have put you down too much. Overall, hang in there. It will get better from here.
    Listen though, you need to get out there and do something with your life, and I don't mean just something that is regarded by a bunch of people as being 'cool' or an 'achievement' such as I don't know, getting a girlfriend or something. You are on this earth for a reason, and you should work on achieving your own goals. Next, you sound like you are putting yourself down way too much. Thinking about the past ain't gonna help you mate, forget all of it. See you've "forced yourself not to care" but really you do, and it's eating you up inside. Don't focus on that one bit. "Socially inadequate"? What ****. You have your whole flipping life ahead of you, so just get out there. Yeah and maybe the victories will be small,and maybe you'll take three steps back for every one forward, but don't worry. Literally force yourself to do something productive for 15 minutes a day, apply for a job, study, idk.
    Good luck man, I mean it! You deserve better.
    • #3
    #3

    Well look at the bright side: things can only get better. you don't have friends? so what, put yourself out there. I'm sure there is at least one person out there who would be happy to engage in a conversation with you. I know its hard, but try not to put yourself down as much, it's not worth it. Instead, think of the future and idk, make a list of things you wanna do or would like to do, so you always have something to look forward to.
    If you go to school/college try making a conversation with somebody, others might be in the same position as you.i'm the same age as you and I went through a stage of thinking all my friends were idiots, so i met new people (and im not the most sociable person either), and feel better for it. Get yourself out there, go for it, whats the worst that could happen. Good luck!
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    It's better to be socially awkward than to be overly talkative. I'm socially awkward too. Partly because I don't have a clue what to say most of the time and partly because I absolutely hate small talk. If that's the case with you as well I can share a few tips for small talking: make lots of noises like "aha, mmm hmm, interesting, I see, huhhh, etc" and just agree or pretend to agree with whatever they say. I've been told that I'm "a really good listener" and that I'm "so considerate" but what people don't realise is that I'm not listening to them at all, I've just switched off and gone into autopilot.

    EDIT: I forgot to mention, just be yourself and talk about what you want to talk about. Just don't hold anything back. It means that people see the real you and like-minded people are more likely to approach. Another added benefit is that it also acts as a deterrent for people you won't get on with. Basically, if they're worth talking to they won't get scared off by it, it they do get scared off then they probably weren't worth talking to anyway.

    By the way, if you're looking for a fellow socially awkward person to practice speaking to, feel free to message me anytime. I'll be more than happy to discuss a variety of academic topics, gaming or politics with you. But no celebrity gossip please, listening to that's like having molten iron poured in my ears. B*tching's okay though, it's the only part of gossiping which I can stand and to be honest it's a good stress reliever. Good luck out there!
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    (Original post by Peroxidation)
    It's better to be socially awkward than to be overly talkative. I'm socially awkward too. Partly because I don't have a clue what to say most of the time and partly because I absolutely hate small talk. If that's the case with you as well I can share a few tips for small talking: make lots of noises like "aha, mmm hmm, interesting, I see, huhhh, etc" and just agree or pretend to agree with whatever they say. I've been told that I'm "a really good listener" and that I'm "so considerate" but what people don't realise is that I'm not listening to them at all, I've just switched off and gone into autopilot.
    I think I am good with small tapk but i suck at eye contact, talking to girls, sometimes I laugh/smile too much :/ and its like 50% of the time I am an introvert and the other 50% im an introvert. People even call me dopey/highondrugs wtf when i am smart and work hard. I even go gym and I am healthy
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I think I am good with small tapk but i suck at eye contact, talking to girls, sometimes I laugh/smile too much :/ and its like 50% of the time I am an introvert and the other 50% im an introvert. People even call me dopey/highondrugs wtf when i am smart and work hard. I even go gym and I am healthy
    Meant to say sometimes I am an extrovert and sometimes introvert
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I think I am good with small tapk but i suck at eye contact, talking to girls, sometimes I laugh/smile too much :/ and its like 50% of the time I am an introvert and the other 50% im an introvert. People even call me dopey/highondrugs wtf when i am smart and work hard. I even go gym and I am healthy
    Im the same but im a girl. Don't worry your not alone
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    I strongly recommend counselling. I speak from experience.
    • #3
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    (Original post by im.a.witch)
    Im the same but im a girl. Don't worry your not alone
    Me too
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I think I am good with small tapk but i suck at eye contact, talking to girls, sometimes I laugh/smile too much :/ and its like 50% of the time I am an introvert and the other 50% im an introvert. People even call me dopey/highondrugs wtf when i am smart and work hard. I even go gym and I am healthy
    Don't take this the wrong way but how much of this checklist is familiar to you? http://www.myaspergerschild.com/2011...er-traits.html. I'm going to be brutally honest here, you sound like one of us Asbies. Even if you're not, you'll probably find aspergic people far easier to talk to since we share the same difficulties you have so won't give a toss about whether or not you engage in eye contact or anything like that.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I think I am good with small tapk but i suck at eye contact, talking to girls, sometimes I laugh/smile too much :/ and its like 50% of the time I am an introvert and the other 50% im an introvert. People even call me dopey/highondrugs wtf when i am smart and work hard. I even go gym and I am healthy
    People will be grateful if you're good at small talk (not everyone is, you're blessed), too much eye contact squicks most people out, girls are just boys with makeup and hair, you literally CANNOT smile too much. Honestly your problems are 90% in your head. The majority of people don't give a damn if you struggle with conversations and the minority that take it personally are negative people that you don't need in your life hun.

    Learn to love yourself - you're not the most outgoing person, so what? You're smart, go to the gym, you're healthy - you've got a lot going for yourself by the sounds of it. Work on your confidence in small steps and you'll find that it's not so bad, but don't force yourself to be social all the time. If you learn to be happy being shy you'll end up more confident for it.

    As for lacking friends, a lot of people do. Especially if you're at school or uni you have little in common with those people. Once you get a job or some hobbies you'll make more because they'll share common interests. Or if not find people online

    tl;dr don't beat yourself up over nothing. It's easy to fixate on one thing you hate and blow it up into a big deal. Best of luck
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Peroxidation)
    Don't take this the wrong way but how much of this checklist is familiar to you? http://www.myaspergerschild.com/2011...er-traits.html. I'm going to be brutally honest here, you sound like one of us Asbies. Even if you're not, you'll probably find aspergic people far easier to talk to since we share the same difficulties you have so won't give a toss about whether or not you engage in eye contact or anything like that.

    Nah, I dont have most of those (would be cool to have "is really good in something" )
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Nah, I dont have most of those (would be cool to have "is really good in something" )
    To be honest most aspergic people only have a handful of them. Speaking from experience, I suggest you get checked out for it. If nothing else it gives people something to pin the "weirdness" on so they find it easier to grasp. You tend to find that the moment they can rationalise something they become much more accepting of it. Also, aspergic people are so damn easy to spot if you know what to look for. From everything you've described I can be pretty certain that you've got it, or at least are far more aspergic than most people are (everyone's somewhere on the spectrum you see, some are just further along than others). I won't pester you any further about it though.

    You do have a talent in something by the way, you just haven't found it yet. Trust me, I don't say these things unless I mean them.
 
 
 
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