How does one stop being so paranoid?

I have a problem that I have had for a while now but it has really intensified in the last couple of years. Basically,I can't stay friends with anyone for more than a few months because I suddenly get this idea,out of nowhere or from something insignificant,that they dont like me and are talking about me when I am not there.
My current friends from uni are fine and I can trust them not to do anything like that but all the people I hung out with at school have been cut out of my life because I cant help feeling like they would not want to know me anymore.I suppose this stems from bullied and phased out so much in the past but how can I train my mind to stop thinking like this? Its gotten to the point that I cant hold down a job because I always feel as though people have it in for me.
Advice please :frown:

I just want to regain my faith in people and think differently.

Reply 1

notsoperfect

1

are you taking any drugs or smoking skunk at all? this can make you really paranoid. if so, stop.

apart from that, i don't know. at least you realise you are doing it, this is a good thing... there must be ways to train yourself out of it, but i don't know what those are. i'm sure someone else can advise :smile:

Reply 2

HearTheThunder

17

In terms of the manifestations paranoia can take, yours is at least a little rational. Nonetheless, it still is serious and can be a symptom of certain mental afflictions like anxiety disorder or depression. Also, as notsoperfect has noted drugs can cause it too, although I'm not familiar with drugs being linked to the kind of paranoia you're describing. Have you been to the doctor regarding this?

Reply 3

Lucy May

I know exactly what you mean
ive never stayed friends with the same group of people for long cause somethings always gone wrong
and actually at the moment i just randomly go through times when i think they hate me/are talking about etc
i know im being stupid and their probably not
but im the kind of person who read into stuff too much
in your case its quite possibly a result of bullying, problems with trust etc
how often do you get paranoid?

Reply 4

khil

15

Anonymous

I have a problem that I have had for a while now but it has really intensified in the last couple of years. Basically,I can't stay friends with anyone for more than a few months because I suddenly get this idea,out of nowhere or from something insignificant,that they dont like me and are talking about me when I am not there.
My current friends from uni are fine and I can trust them not to do anything like that but all the people I hung out with at school have been cut out of my life because I cant help feeling like they would not want to know me anymore.I suppose this stems from bullied and phased out so much in the past but how can I train my mind to stop thinking like this? Its gotten to the point that I cant hold down a job because I always feel as though people have it in for me.
Advice please :frown:

I just want to regain my faith in people and think differently.

Being able to recognise when it's paranoia is always a good start. I get paranoid often too, but I can tell when I'm being paranoid, hence I stop myself thinking the way I did and it eventually sorts itself out. One of my friends who get paranoid can't tell for the life of her whether she's being paranoid or not, so she rings me up and asks me about it lol. It seems to work and she's building up confidence gradually.

So, have a friend perhaps whom you can turn to and advice you. And think it through rationally in your head. You seem to realise that it is just paranoia, so just ignore those random feelings because you know you have no reason to be feeling the way you do and there's no point in ruining a perfectly good friendship.

And if the problem lies deeper, go see a counsellor. There's no shame in seeing one. At uni you should be able to see one in confidence very easily for free. I advice you to see one, perhaps, as your problem sounds like it could be a little more than just a confidence/paranoia issue.

Reply 5

invisible_gal

I can identify a little bit, I tend to get very paranoid about my friends sometimes and especially about guys. I'll be seeing someone and I'll suddenly for no reason think they hate me or they're using me or they're cheating on me. This is all stems from problems I've had before and although I've never really mentioned it to my doctor before, I'm beginning to think I should.
You say you've been bullied before? Probably it does stem from that. It can be hard to learn to trust people especially after your trust has been abused by others, but you have to keep trying. I know how hard it is, but talk to one of your friends about it perhaps? And perhaps consider going to see a doctor or someone about it cos it can be an issue which can really affect people.