Hi
That all sounds good and I am suprised it had a big response- thanks to everyone.
I think you all make some good points and I have been thinkin about it still. First of all, I know you can nver say that things are forever in relationships cos you never know how things are going to work out. But I know that me and my Boyfriend are very strong and want to spend the rest of our life together etc. He supports me in anything I do and I have asked him how he would feel if I did try again. He said he would support me 110% as its my choice, but we would both find it hard at first as we wouldn't be spending as much time together.
I don't think I explained why I left in enough detail. I know there is the usual stresses and pressure and I know everyone is in the same boat. I am not saying that I was treated differently in any way, it's just the way that I reacted/adapted (shall we say not adapted) to it. To put it bluntly, I was literally 'losing it' and while others were starting to enjoy it, I just never did and I was so stressed out that it made me ill. To be honest, if I'd have stayed any longer, I would have had a breakdown in there and that's why the doctor advised my Cpl's/Flt Ltnt that I should go home. I think it would have been best to go home on sick leave and then go back to see how I would have reacted then, but there isn't any point thinking that now.
I think it would be different if I went back in as I know what to expect and I would be more prepared for the things like kit prep (which was one of the main things that worried me/stressed me out i.e. if I didn't get it done, we would all get *******ed and when I did every night it only meant 3 hours sleep). I know everyone else was the same, like I say, it's just the way I reacted, I'm a natural worrier and that's not a good thing to have in the RAF, or in anything.
threeportdrift- when I was in the process of leaving, the Section Commander and all the officers that interviewed me so I could leave said that they would welcome me back and I could apply for the RAF again (obviously at the time I thought I would never think of it again). He said that, 'you never know, in a few months time, things might change' and now I can understand him, whereas then I was totally adamant. Although, I'm not sure if they would, obviously they would be weary.
And I'm not just thinkin about it cos my career path at the mo is none-existant, it's just a natural thought anyway.
Thanks for all your opinions.
rich_init.- I was on 3 flt, who were your cpl's? And why did you leave?