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    Hi everyone

    My name is Becky and I started my RAF training on the 7th March this year. I VW'd and came out when they let me, which was 28days later on the 4th April. I joined as RAF Police. While I was there I was 100% certain it was the right choice to make because all the stress of it made me ill i.e. the doc let me go home cos I developed anxiety and nervousness and I could never relax, ever while I was there. I also wanted to come out because, thinkin about my future, I thought that it would be too hard to cope away from my boyfriend. And I am glad I did cos I couldn't be without my fella.

    However, now I don't know what to do with my life at all, I was all set for the RAF and I had waited 2 and a half years to get in, so it was a big blow when I realised it wasn't for me. Now, I keep feeling that what if I had stayed abit longer, gave it a proper go, would my mind have changed? I keep wondering whether I should try again but I always said I would never put myself through all that horrible stress again. I'm not sure what to do now as I would like to go back in defo, but don't want to be away from my boyfriend. its sort of a dilemma cos if I was single, I think I would try again. I think the second time round I would also be more prepared as I know what to expect.

    Does anyone have any ideas/suggestions? Just wondering what you guys would do, I am open to any ideas and please be honest.

    Cheers
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    Although i cant give you any personal opinions but from my friends and family who have been in the forces the first bit of training was the hardest for them as it was something completely new but they all loved it in the end, i think if you can you should give it another go as whats a few months of discomfort compared to the career you want? if you dont mind me asking why did it take you two and a half years? were you training or just not enough spaces for your career
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    If I get accepted for training, Im expecting to be absolutely beasted. Getting screamed at, late night sessions ironing and cleaning kit, doing 100 pressups for not zipping up a pocket, things like that.


    Im thinking its par for the course, and that I should take comfort from the fact that - Im not the only one this is happening too, there's going to be a hundred other recruits going through the exact same thing. And, that hundreds before me, and hundreds after me, have/will go through the exact same thing.

    Its little comfort when you're doing pressups, or running round a field in the rain for having bristles missing from your toothbrush, but its part of the training. "Sloppy standards costs lives", I heard someone say; Im thinking that the beastings are to hammer this point home. Have to say, its a good point, thinking about it.
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    If you can't bear to be away from your boyfriend then stay a civvie. Basic isn't long and it's only a drop in the ocean compared to the rest of the rewarding career you would have. As a single bloke I wouldn't let a partner come in between me and my career, my Mum said it as did friends that left because of partner pressures (now divorced!) who wish they had stayed in. The forces will give you a new family without losing the one you already have. If you want it then go for it, if you're not sure then I wouldn't bother wasting tax payers money
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    Something actually has to have changed to make any second time around different to the first time, and it doesn't seem that anything has really changed. You are not single, and you don't handle decision making/pressure well. To be honest, in your current circumstances I can't see that the RAF would let you back in, unless you can prove that something material has changed in your circumstances.

    Maybe it's just how you expressed yourself in your opening comments, but if you are still with your boyfriend and you don't want to go through 'all that horrible stress again' - what has changed? Just because you now have no life plan, doesn't mean that reverting to the previous failed one is the best idea. You need to weigh up the value of your career versus the time away from/support from your boyfriend. If you get in, do you anticipate that he will move around with you on postings etc?

    You probably wouldn't lose anything by going back to the AFCO and asking for their view though.
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    Sorry to hear that it was really stressful for you, putting yourself through that again probably is not a good idea, if you could not handle it the first time.

    If you want to join the police, you have the option of county forces, london forces or the MOD, that way you could do your training still see your boyfriend and do something you are interested in.

    However remember that relationships do not always last forever, if you have a burning desire to do something then do it, you might regret it later on in life!!!

    Good luck
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    Think carefully about what you want from life. Will you end up being bitter and blaming your boyfriend if you don't pursue your dream? Be horribly realistic with yourself, is your boyf really forever, is he worth it, will he appreciate your sacrifice?

    Also looke inside yourself- why were you in such a state during Recruit Trg? The basics at Halton are only for a short while then you get to experience a truly rewarding career.
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    Hiya, I VW'd like a week ago. I thought I was too young for the RAF to be honest. Was in 2 flight (brilliant bunch btw) but then got reflighted to 3 flight. Then I left. I'm sort of regretting it now and I'm beginning to wish i stuck it out.
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    Hi

    That all sounds good and I am suprised it had a big response- thanks to everyone.

    I think you all make some good points and I have been thinkin about it still. First of all, I know you can nver say that things are forever in relationships cos you never know how things are going to work out. But I know that me and my Boyfriend are very strong and want to spend the rest of our life together etc. He supports me in anything I do and I have asked him how he would feel if I did try again. He said he would support me 110% as its my choice, but we would both find it hard at first as we wouldn't be spending as much time together.

    I don't think I explained why I left in enough detail. I know there is the usual stresses and pressure and I know everyone is in the same boat. I am not saying that I was treated differently in any way, it's just the way that I reacted/adapted (shall we say not adapted) to it. To put it bluntly, I was literally 'losing it' and while others were starting to enjoy it, I just never did and I was so stressed out that it made me ill. To be honest, if I'd have stayed any longer, I would have had a breakdown in there and that's why the doctor advised my Cpl's/Flt Ltnt that I should go home. I think it would have been best to go home on sick leave and then go back to see how I would have reacted then, but there isn't any point thinking that now.

    I think it would be different if I went back in as I know what to expect and I would be more prepared for the things like kit prep (which was one of the main things that worried me/stressed me out i.e. if I didn't get it done, we would all get *******ed and when I did every night it only meant 3 hours sleep). I know everyone else was the same, like I say, it's just the way I reacted, I'm a natural worrier and that's not a good thing to have in the RAF, or in anything.

    threeportdrift- when I was in the process of leaving, the Section Commander and all the officers that interviewed me so I could leave said that they would welcome me back and I could apply for the RAF again (obviously at the time I thought I would never think of it again). He said that, 'you never know, in a few months time, things might change' and now I can understand him, whereas then I was totally adamant. Although, I'm not sure if they would, obviously they would be weary.

    And I'm not just thinkin about it cos my career path at the mo is none-existant, it's just a natural thought anyway.

    Thanks for all your opinions.

    rich_init.- I was on 3 flt, who were your cpl's? And why did you leave?
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    Ruhr_Phantom - I forgot to say. I have applied to join the Specials because I was thinkin that if I joined the regular police, I might feel the same way as I did in the RAF. However, I didn't get through to the next stage- by 2 points! I can re-apply in 6months but i think I would just go for the regulars. i'm not sure for now tho.
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    Hi Becky,

    Just a word about the RAF from a serving member.

    Halton can be hard at times but that is the point - you are attempting to join one of the, if not THE finest Air Force in the world. Im sure that you and your boyfriend are extremely close but you have to remember this:

    i) It is your career - not his. The RAF is not like the film 'Mr & Mrs Smith' where we work with our nearest and dearest and never let them out of our sight.

    ii) RAF personell are regulary sent away on detatchment to nice desert places and a cold place not very far from Argentina for at least four months at a time - Four months is a lot longer than nine weeks.

    iii) What happens after basic training and trade training? you will be posted - not necessarily within shouting distance of your boyfriend.

    I dont mean to sound harsh, but you need to see that the RAF is about more than just basic training, you will need to make decisions within your career than will be far harder than asking yourself if your creases are sharp enough!!

    Maybe the police is a better option for you? at least you will be able to go home at night!!

    Whatever you plan to do - i wish you the very best of luck!!

    Al
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    Mine were cpl holland and cpl mcalle. Left due to many things, like my girlfriend, n stuff wer more important to me back at home as well. didnt like the lack of sleep or lack of free time either. and also i felt my hard work was majorly unappreciated. also the senior man was sort of bullying me, yet the cpl backed him and not me. i do miss it though and i'll probably apply again in a cupl of years
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    9 weeks is nothing. Try 14 weeks! And you get much wetter and colder in the army on ex!
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    Was gonna reply, but the bullying me, won't let me sleep, no-one appreciates my hard work crap is just a roundabout way of saying he couldn't handle Basic training. The instructors are highly trained, and monitored, over what could be seen as bullying, so anyone coming out with that **** doesn't deserve to be listened to.

    And the lack of sleep and ill-appreciation, that'll still be in effect the next time you go down there, with different instructors enforcing it.
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    (Original post by raf_becky04)
    I am glad I did cos I couldn't be without my fella.
    (Original post by raf_becky04)
    I realised it wasn't for me
    You seem to be pretty firm on these two points. Your comments on thinking about whether you should rejoin seem hesitant, to say the least, and you don't seem to have decided WHY you want to go back in.

    It's a very natural reaction to go back to your last option when the current position (lack of career options now you've left) isn't working out. From what you've said, however, there is no reason to think the RAF would work out better for you this time. How would you react if you're posted somewhere miles away from your boyfriend ... and then two years later moved to another posting, equally far away? And then another? How would he react? You and your boyfriend feel you're in it for the long haul - if you were married to him, what would your feelings be then about joining up? Would that affect your views? If so, why? It's a difficult situation, and I sympathise, but it's not fair on anyone to try again unless you've resolved all these things.

    Why not take a year off, try something else, give yourself time to get together, and then try again if you're certain you still want to pursue it in twelve months? It would be better to take the time now to make that decision, rather than waiting until you're back at Halton, prepping kit at 3am, missing home and your boyfriend, and still trying to make up your mind about whether this is right for you.

    Best of luck, let us know what you decide!
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    (Original post by raf_becky04)
    Ruhr_Phantom - I forgot to say. I have applied to join the Specials because I was thinkin that if I joined the regular police, I might feel the same way as I did in the RAF. However, I didn't get through to the next stage- by 2 points! I can re-apply in 6months but i think I would just go for the regulars. i'm not sure for now tho.
    Well done, you got through the RAF recruitment process hands up to you, you have done fantastically well, so the police process will be much easier. You probably just needed to have some time out to get yourself together and then when your ready go for it!!

    If you want any help with the police recruitment a couple of my friends have gone through it I can help you out if you decide to do, just PM me!!

    However if you do decide to go back to the RAF go for it, you obviously had the makings of it!!
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    (Original post by djmarkmclachlan)
    Was gonna reply, but the bullying me, won't let me sleep, no-one appreciates my hard work crap is just a roundabout way of saying he couldn't handle Basic training. The instructors are highly trained, and monitored, over what could be seen as bullying, so anyone coming out with that **** doesn't deserve to be listened to.

    And the lack of sleep and ill-appreciation, that'll still be in effect the next time you go down there, with different instructors enforcing it.
    djmarkmchlachan, are you actually in the RAF? Or are you just one of them people still doing their rounds at the AFCO who think they know what they're talking about?
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    Theo1977- I like the sound of yours, I reckon it would be a good idea to see how I feel in a year or so. Thanks.

    rich_init.- I had cpl Holland and McAlle also. It was hard cos we never ever got a break ALL day. other recruits with different cpls said theres were ok and they got lots of breaks. maybe we copped for the wrong ones lol. (not saying I would have been any different with any other cpls. btw, that djmarkmclachlan was abit like that with me on here before I went in, ignore him.

    Thanks for everyone's comments.
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    (Original post by rich_init.)
    djmarkmchlachan, are you actually in the RAF? Or are you just one of them people still doing their rounds at the AFCO who think they know what they're talking about?
    Lol, how very ignorant. I'm neither. And I do know what I'm talking about.
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    (Original post by raf_becky04)
    Theo1977- I like the sound of yours, I reckon it would be a good idea to see how I feel in a year or so. Thanks.

    rich_init.- I had cpl Holland and McAlle also. It was hard cos we never ever got a break ALL day. other recruits with different cpls said theres were ok and they got lots of breaks. maybe we copped for the wrong ones lol. (not saying I would have been any different with any other cpls. btw, that djmarkmclachlan was abit like that with me on here before I went in, ignore him.

    Thanks for everyone's comments.
    A bit like what? Honest? I'm not about to start buttering things up like they aren't, you both couldn't handle it; that's not that that the RAF was particularly brash on you both, but that you were particularly soft.

    Ignore me all you want, there're enough people who know I know a little about a little more than you do. Sleep less I shall not, though if I did, atleast I know that I'd be able to cope with it.

    DJ MARK
 
 
 
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