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Struggling to get over work colleague I fell in love with Watch

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    I'm a gay man. I met a guy at work and the sexual attraction was clear to both of us from the beginning. He had a boyfriend though and did the right thing and mentioned it early on.

    I knew he wanted to be faithful to his Partner and I'm not and never will be the kind of guy to get involved with someone who is taken. They've been together 4 years.

    We worked together for a year and were in an office together for 40 hrs a week! We got to know each other really well. I noticed he would always be around me, no matter where I was he would be and he started to get jealous of guys I mentioned. I would catch him looking at me a lot and yet we were always slightly shy with each other. Everyone in the office picked up on it. After a few months he started refusing to be alone with me and told my Boss it was because he had developed feelings which he did not want to have.

    I was upset as I had hoped we could be friends but respected that his feelings meant this wasn't possible.

    I decided to forget all about him.Before I left the job he added me on Facebook and asked me to contact him if I needed help applying for jobs. I just said thank you.

    Since leaving the job I feel completely and utterly lost. I have never felt this way before about anyone. I'm never going to contact him but it breaks my heart that we don't chat anymore. He was a regular part of my life for just over a year and now suddenly the realisation has hit me that I will never see him again. This seriously sucks!! If he just wasn't interested I would have been able to deal with it, but knowing someone fell for you, but can't be with you as they are taken is harder. Especially as he has admitted they aren't getting on brilliantly at the moment, Plus, he added me on Facebook when I would have rather just removed all forms of contact to help me move on. So now I have to see his updates etc.

    So I've tried immersing myself in activities, I've started a new job and been on a few dates but I feel completely consumed.

    Will this feeling go away? Could it just be a crush that I've got? I really don't want to feel like this but I think I'm in love. I'm almost 30. I really should know better!! It's been 3 months since I spoke to him. Dies anyone have any tips? I don't want to be like this any longer :-(
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm a gay man. I met a guy at work and the sexual attraction was clear to both of us from the beginning. He had a boyfriend though and did the right thing and mentioned it early on.

    I knew he wanted to be faithful to his Partner and I'm not and never will be the kind of guy to get involved with someone who is taken. They've been together 4 years.

    We worked together for a year and were in an office together for 40 hrs a week! We got to know each other really well. I noticed he would always be around me, no matter where I was he would be and he started to get jealous of guys I mentioned. I would catch him looking at me a lot and yet we were always slightly shy with each other. Everyone in the office picked up on it. After a few months he started refusing to be alone with me and told my Boss it was because he had developed feelings which he did not want to have.

    I was upset as I had hoped we could be friends but respected that his feelings meant this wasn't possible.

    I decided to forget all about him.Before I left the job he added me on Facebook and asked me to contact him if I needed help applying for jobs. I just said thank you.

    Since leaving the job I feel completely and utterly lost. I have never felt this way before about anyone. I'm never going to contact him but it breaks my heart that we don't chat anymore. He was a regular part of my life for just over a year and now suddenly the realisation has hit me that I will never see him again. This seriously sucks!! If he just wasn't interested I would have been able to deal with it, but knowing someone fell for you, but can't be with you as they are taken is harder. Especially as he has admitted they aren't getting on brilliantly at the moment, Plus, he added me on Facebook when I would have rather just removed all forms of contact to help me move on. So now I have to see his updates etc.

    So I've tried immersing myself in activities, I've started a new job and been on a few dates but I feel completely consumed.

    Will this feeling go away? Could it just be a crush that I've got? I really don't want to feel like this but I think I'm in love. I'm almost 30. I really should know better!! It's been 3 months since I spoke to him. Dies anyone have any tips? I don't want to be like this any longer :-(
    I'm really sorry. This sounds really difficult. Maybe it's best if you just remove him from Facebook completely. If you feel bad, just send him off a quick message explaining why beforehand and before he replies just remove him as a friend. It might be easier to move on if you stop seeing updates from him all the time and knowing that he's only a message away. It's good to hear you have a new job though! Hopefully you'll be able to make some good friends there and they might be able to give you advice too. Keep meeting new people and going on dates and stuff. It's difficult, but you'll move on eventually. Unfortunately you can't just turn off feelings!
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    I'm dating him now :-)
 
 
 
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