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Anxiety - No confidence, no friends, and no idea what to do next. Watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Two things before I start:
    1. I'm posting this anonymously because it's quite specific; adding my username increases the risk of identifying me.
    2. I begin with a storyline of my life - it's long but relevant, I promise!

    *********************
    I was born in July 2000 (I've just turned 16), and was always the quirky and awkward one who followed every rule religiously and found solace in academia. Aged 7, my Mum took me to see a Doctor; she trained as a Nursery Nurse when mental health and autism were just beginning to be understood, and recognised the signs of autism in me. A year or so later, I was diagnosed with 'Autistic Spectrum Disorder displaying many of the traits of Aspergers' Syndrome' and an anxiety disorder. That was something of a turning point for me, as I started to get help at school to build my confidence up. By the time I started Year 7, I was comfortable walking to and from school on my own.

    I had a few knocks to confidence here and there (I was bullied and almost killed in the process in the first half-term of secondary school), and things started to go downhill. My school's SENCO decided to cut my support to increase my independence, and for the next two years, I was having a full-blown panic attack pretty much every day. The saving grace was that I was able to 'bottle-up' everything until I got home; I still feel sorry for my poor Mum having to put-up with that every day! Despite this, they still wouldn't change their position on my level of support. Around the same time, I was discharged from CAMHS - although neither organisation said so, I still believe that both cuts were made on grounds of cost rather than efficacy.

    I then started having panic attacks constantly and everywhere. Both of my parents, my grandparents, and everyone around me told me that I was just being awkward, throwing a tantrum, or that I was exhibiting "learned behaviour". I wasn't, of course, and their accusations were not at all helpful! That was a really low point in my life, and it is one to which I still have quite traumatic flashbacks.

    Through Year 10 and Year 11 I started to build up a little more confidence and began to feel a little bit better in myself. I realised that if I am not getting help from others to do so, I would have to try to do so myself. I was marginally successful in some respects, but I was still really anxious all of the time and I desperately wanted some kind of emotional support. Once again, my Mum took me to see a Doctor to try to get some help with my anxiety. I explained that I was really struggling with feelings of anxiety and was summarily told to see my school nurse rather than a Doctor, as this was just "exam anxiety". After I actually detailed the symptoms, if you will, that I was experiencing however, I was referred to the hospital CAMHS unit to be seen by a specialist. Three weeks later, I was told that anxiety was expected in people with autism, and to go and see a charity fifty miles away from me (from what I could find on-line, this charity is basically a daycare centre for children with autism, and by that I mean young children with (and I hate the term but there is no real alternative) 'severe' autism). In other words, they haven't got any money for Mental Health and therefore had to politely tell me to go away. I had no consultation with a specialist, and the decision was made based solely on a GPs letter - an opinion of a generalist who talked to me for all of two minutes.

    *********************

    That brings us to today, almost three months later, where I am writing this. I am having all sorts of physiological symptoms (which another GP assures me are related to anxiety), crying myself to sleep pretty much every night, having full-blown panic attacks from even the slightest trigger, and struggling anything (particularly annoying for doing four A-Levels' preparatory work!). That's why I'm here now, because I have literally no idea what to do. My confidence is really low and I feel like rubbish; I have no friends to turn to (and never have) and whatever support I have is quickly taken away; my Mum is trying to help me but there's not much she can do either. This is the first time that I have actually laid out the full extent of my difficulties. My Mum knows the most, but I worry that she would be overloaded with worrying about me if I let her know the full and exact details.

    I feel like I have exhausted every avenue through which to get some help, but I'm in a vicious circle. People ask and expect more and more of me but I struggle more and more to cope, lowering my confidence and reducing my ability to cope with life and also to get the help I need. I can't even walk to the shop across the road, let alone phone up organisations or go and see people!

    Any suggestions are warmly welcomed!

    (Apologies for any spelling errors etc., as I'm writing this on my phone!)
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    NHS professionals not of much help?

    Does your family have money to pay for consultation with private clinical psychologist and sessions with a councilor? Should be free with NHS but dunno how easy they are to get hold of nowadays.

    Anti-anxiety meds?
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    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by hellodave5)
    NHS professionals not of much help?

    Does your family have money to pay for consultation with private clinical psychologist and sessions with a councilor? Should be free with NHS but dunno how easy they are to get hold of nowadays.

    Anti-anxiety meds?
    Multiple repeated attempts with the NHS have yielded nothing - I'm not sure what more they want from me to 'prove' that I need help.

    I thought of that, but finding the money to do that would be difficult, especially since it would have to come from someone who believes that I don't need help, rather can help myself if only I "try to get over it".
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Multiple repeated attempts with the NHS have yielded nothing - I'm not sure what more they want from me to 'prove' that I need help.

    I thought of that, but finding the money to do that would be difficult, especially since it would have to come from someone who believes that I don't need help, rather can help myself if only I "try to get over it".
    Unfortunately, the government simply is trying to impede the NHS through a lack of resources for political purposes - and so seems to be a bad time to get anything wrong with you. Most people have issues or experience those of significant others, so we're all in the same boat really.

    There are many good clinicians, many of which have left the NHS because of issues there. If you see an experienced clinical psychologist, you should be able to get some good advice and would only perhaps require a few hours of their time to do so.
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    Can't you get support from the NHS or something. Have you ever tried for any counselling sessions or anything?



    Posted from TSR Mobile
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    x
    Note, there should be accessible psycho-education (teach you a bit about the mechanisms behind your experiences) services which may help you to help yourself. Not sure if you have already tried these before, but I always feel understanding and knowing strategies to help counter may be of some benefit. Can be good to use in conjunction with other treatments; like if you're able, consultation with a clinical psych, and see a councilor semi-regularly.
    Also just to mention that I am just a student, as is only my opinion. But hope it helps.
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    Try not to put to much pressure on yourself, sounds like you are feeling depressed. Being lonely certainly dosent help that, can you make friends and college or will be all the same people as school that what I would do but I obviously your asd will effect this. Go back to your GP just because you have austism dosent mean that it should be blamed for your anxiety and not taken serioulsy, yes it might be linked but you should still be getting help. I understand not wanting worry your mum but I think she would want to know and she might be able to help you get some help. Well done from writting this post.
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    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by TheUnknownDude)
    Can't you get support from the NHS or something. Have you ever tried for any counselling sessions or anything?
    Posted from TSR Mobile
    I tried, but got rejected by the hospital.

    (Original post by hellodave5)
    Note, there should be accessible psycho-education (teach you a bit about the mechanisms behind your experiences) services which may help you to help yourself. Not sure if you have already tried these before, but I always feel understanding and knowing strategies to help counter may be of some benefit. Can be good to use in conjunction with other treatments; like if you're able, consultation with a clinical psych, and see a councilor semi-regularly.
    Also just to mention that I am just a student, as is only my opinion. But hope it helps.
    That sounds like the sort of thing I'm looking for - I just want somebody who knows about anxiety etc. to talk to and get some help with the 'root cause' of my problem. Do you know of a way to self-refer to something like this under the NHS?

    (Original post by Phoebe Joan xo)
    Try not to put to much pressure on yourself, sounds like you are feeling depressed. Being lonely certainly dosent help that, can you make friends and college or will be all the same people as school that what I would do but I obviously your asd will effect this. Go back to your GP just because you have austism dosent mean that it should be blamed for your anxiety and not taken serioulsy, yes it might be linked but you should still be getting help. I understand not wanting worry your mum but I think she would want to know and she might be able to help you get some help. Well done from writting this post.
    Thanks for your support! :hugs:
    I would like to try to find some friends in Sixth Form next year, I just don't know how to go about doing so...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I tried, but got rejected by the hospital.



    That sounds like the sort of thing I'm looking for - I just want somebody who knows about anxiety etc. to talk to and get some help with the 'root cause' of my problem. Do you know of a way to self-refer to something like this under the NHS?



    Thanks for your support! :hugs:
    I would like to try to find some friends in Sixth Form next year, I just don't know how to go about doing so...
    Your GP should refer you to something of the sort

    Will also help a lot just reading up about cognitive processes generally... but those programs are good in that they give structure, and other tools which you can use based on mindfulness and mood monitors etc. to help identify causes etc.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I tried, but got rejected by the hospital.



    That sounds like the sort of thing I'm looking for - I just want somebody who knows about anxiety etc. to talk to and get some help with the 'root cause' of my problem. Do you know of a way to self-refer to something like this under the NHS?



    Thanks for your support! :hugs:
    I would like to try to find some friends in Sixth Form next year, I just don't know how to go about doing so...
    Sometimes I feel annoyed with our NHS, and this is one of the reasons why. They allow people to get useless cosmetic surgeries for FREE. Whilst there are genuine people like you who are in dire need for support.

    Anyway, feel free to pm me if you need a chat.

    Remember to stay strong & positive

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    So I managed to get an appointment with my actual GP (my registered Doctor; not just one who works at my GP surgery) due to someone cancelling their slot, today, and she's agreed to refer me to somewhere to get specialist support (although she's not sure exactly where that will be yet). It looks like I might actually be getting somewhere towards getting help!

    Thank you all so much for your help and support!
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    Can you give more details about your gender and ethnicity, it might help me find the root to your problem.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Two things before I start:
    1. I'm posting this anonymously because it's quite specific; adding my username increases the risk of identifying me.
    2. I begin with a storyline of my life - it's long but relevant, I promise!

    *********************
    I was born in July 2000 (I've just turned 16), and was always the quirky and awkward one who followed every rule religiously and found solace in academia. Aged 7, my Mum took me to see a Doctor; she trained as a Nursery Nurse when mental health and autism were just beginning to be understood, and recognised the signs of autism in me. A year or so later, I was diagnosed with 'Autistic Spectrum Disorder displaying many of the traits of Aspergers' Syndrome' and an anxiety disorder. That was something of a turning point for me, as I started to get help at school to build my confidence up. By the time I started Year 7, I was comfortable walking to and from school on my own.

    I had a few knocks to confidence here and there (I was bullied and almost killed in the process in the first half-term of secondary school), and things started to go downhill. My school's SENCO decided to cut my support to increase my independence, and for the next two years, I was having a full-blown panic attack pretty much every day. The saving grace was that I was able to 'bottle-up' everything until I got home; I still feel sorry for my poor Mum having to put-up with that every day! Despite this, they still wouldn't change their position on my level of support. Around the same time, I was discharged from CAMHS - although neither organisation said so, I still believe that both cuts were made on grounds of cost rather than efficacy.

    I then started having panic attacks constantly and everywhere. Both of my parents, my grandparents, and everyone around me told me that I was just being awkward, throwing a tantrum, or that I was exhibiting "learned behaviour". I wasn't, of course, and their accusations were not at all helpful! That was a really low point in my life, and it is one to which I still have quite traumatic flashbacks.

    Through Year 10 and Year 11 I started to build up a little more confidence and began to feel a little bit better in myself. I realised that if I am not getting help from others to do so, I would have to try to do so myself. I was marginally successful in some respects, but I was still really anxious all of the time and I desperately wanted some kind of emotional support. Once again, my Mum took me to see a Doctor to try to get some help with my anxiety. I explained that I was really struggling with feelings of anxiety and was summarily told to see my school nurse rather than a Doctor, as this was just "exam anxiety". After I actually detailed the symptoms, if you will, that I was experiencing however, I was referred to the hospital CAMHS unit to be seen by a specialist. Three weeks later, I was told that anxiety was expected in people with autism, and to go and see a charity fifty miles away from me (from what I could find on-line, this charity is basically a daycare centre for children with autism, and by that I mean young children with (and I hate the term but there is no real alternative) 'severe' autism). In other words, they haven't got any money for Mental Health and therefore had to politely tell me to go away. I had no consultation with a specialist, and the decision was made based solely on a GPs letter - an opinion of a generalist who talked to me for all of two minutes.

    *********************

    That brings us to today, almost three months later, where I am writing this. I am having all sorts of physiological symptoms (which another GP assures me are related to anxiety), crying myself to sleep pretty much every night, having full-blown panic attacks from even the slightest trigger, and struggling anything (particularly annoying for doing four A-Levels' preparatory work!). That's why I'm here now, because I have literally no idea what to do. My confidence is really low and I feel like rubbish; I have no friends to turn to (and never have) and whatever support I have is quickly taken away; my Mum is trying to help me but there's not much she can do either. This is the first time that I have actually laid out the full extent of my difficulties. My Mum knows the most, but I worry that she would be overloaded with worrying about me if I let her know the full and exact details.

    I feel like I have exhausted every avenue through which to get some help, but I'm in a vicious circle. People ask and expect more and more of me but I struggle more and more to cope, lowering my confidence and reducing my ability to cope with life and also to get the help I need. I can't even walk to the shop across the road, let alone phone up organisations or go and see people!

    Any suggestions are warmly welcomed!

    (Apologies for any spelling errors etc., as I'm writing this on my phone!)
    I don't think autism is real and your a normal person. Austism has a stigma as it's seen as really bad but and I noticed it with one of my friends from primary school and I kind of got the whole story from him and noticed why and I knew why straight away. Your definitely a normal person this can happen with anyone. The best way is looking at your own moral conducts if you make some. I could help you with this if I know you in real, I might,
 
 
 
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