What have I become?

Year 12s: what will be the first way you research your future options? >>

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Reply 20

Chewwy

instead of getting a pregnancy test in a couple of week, get the morning-after pill RIGHT NOW.

Reply 21

Helenia

For a pregnancy test to be accurate you need to wait until your next period is due. If you are thinking of following it up legally, you might want to get an examination done by a police doctor to see if there's any damage or anything. Pregnancy and STI tests could wait a week or two (but still definitely get them done!) There's not any chance there could have been drugs involved, is there?

As for going out tonight, I would advise not drinking, or if you do, be very very careful.

Reply 22

Consie

ASAP definately. I mean the morning after pill. The people above are right about the pregnancy test, but ideally you dont want a kid. You could go to a GUM clinic instead of your GP, you're pretty much ananymous to them I think. I'd definately check out the STD's at the GUM, you never know. My brother's mate had loads of unprotected sex when was younger, went for a test in his mid 20's and had **** loads of STD's despite thinking he never would, so just get it checked. You'll probably be fine on both counts, just ensure you are.

I dont get hammered any more either, I kept on throwing up in the taxi home so just had to calm down. A night out is better anyway if you just get pissed instead of hammered. In the future, if you feel yourself getting drunk (and alcohol usually hits you culmitavely after a while) go and get something to eat quickly and have some water when your out, it will usually stop you from tipping over from being a bit drunk to being really drunk.

Reply 23

Anonymous #1

Where are these GUM clinics? Oh my god. I still can't believe this is happening. I never ever thought I would be so stupid. From what the guy was saying though, I dont think there is a risk of pregnancy. But then, I dont think I can trust him. But I will get it checked out. The other problem is that I cant tell by my periods as I have them about every 4-6 months. All thats going through my head right now is one night stand, preganacy, STIs, idiot, whore. I dont wany sympathy, I want punishment.

Reply 24

Nally

Get yourself the morning after pill asap. If you can't face going to your family doctor then go to your local GUM clinic for all the relevant tests. You should definitely get some tests done just to remove any element of doubt. Are you at school/uni? they'll have access to a counselling service which will be able to help you if you want to talk to someone impartial.

Reply 25

Consie

Relax. There is an overwhelming chance you're neither pregnant or have STD's, its just making sure, and in these cases sooner is better than later. Also, your not a whore or anything, you didnt go out looking for a one night stand, a scumbag took advantage of you. Everyone makes mistakes, this one mainly was out of your control - you cant blame yourself for getting pissed becasue most people pretty reasonably assume getting pissed doesnt usually result in getting taken advantage of by a man. Just get yourself checked out and then let time heal things.

http://www.condomessentialwear.co.uk/get-help

Reply 26

Anonymous #1

Thanks Consie there is one really near to my house so thats good. It would be stupid not to go but Im not sure if I can. How do they test for STI's ? Does someone have to examine you? What if someone saw me? All this stress and anxiety and upset is making me angry more and more at myself and that horrible guy. To think I have to work at that place for another 8 weeks and keep on seeing him.

Reply 27

Consie

You could ditch working there. Just dont go to your nearest one, go the second or third nearest. Just play the percentage game. There is a majority chance (like 95%) you wont get seen by someone at a GUM, and even if you do your probably both going to want to keep secret why your there. You can't not go becasue of that. Not sure about females, i know males get a swab or something. It doesnt sound particulary nice, but just have to grin and bear it, and youll be glad you did it when the results come back and say your fine, which they likely will.

Reply 28

Frenchflower

Awwww hun *hug* just because this isn't legally rape, it doesn't mean it isn't rape in your eyes. If in a month's time you are still not dealing with this, you should see a counsellor and they can help you through it, instead of trying to deal with it alone. Some people are just stronger than others in these situations. I think having an STI check might involve an internal examination, why don't you google it? If it does, these people are professionals so try not to be embarassed, it's nothing new to them.

Reply 29

suek

How do they test for STI's ? Does someone have to examine you? What if someone saw me?

Don't worry about someone seeing you; if needs must you could go for the old hat and sunglasses trick or something like that but I doubt anyone you know would be there. Or if they were, then they wouldn't probably want you to recognise them, either! What could they do, start gossiping "Oh, guess who I saw at the GUM Clinic!!!"? It's a private thing, so anyone there will be feeling the same way as you, wanting to keep it private, IMO.

But yes, they do examine you. And they do blood tests too. But don't be scared or embarrassed about any of this.

The reason I say that is because that is precisely what they are there for. You won't have anything they won't have seen before, they'll make you feel completely and utterly at ease. Anyway, they can tell some things visually, or give you an idea at least, but they'll do swabs and stuff like that.. nothing painful. Also blood tests from your arm for the likes of HIV and Hepatitis, again, the only pain comes from the needle.. But with HIV at least, depending on the test, you might need to wait longer to actually get it done, because they can't tell for sure until however long after the 'incident'. I don't mean to scare you though :smile:

Just trying to be informative!

You can even give a fake name if you want.

Don't be scared, don't panic, and don't think you deserved this. It's not a crime to get drunk in this country, is it? You made a mistake, sure. But HE took advantage.. HE is the one who is in the wrong, not you.

Reply 30

DenkMit

OP - I'm probably going to get slated for this, but I believe he raped you (or at least tried to). Go to the police and report him. They won't consider you a timewaster, and if nothing more they'll help you with everything you need.

Reply 31

SJ No.18

Whats with the people saying it was rape, do you know the facts?. She's said herself that she cannot remember a thing as she was drunk and the guy is saying he was drunk also. In her a drunken state she could of consented, which to a drunk guy is a sober yes. Can we stop condemning this guy and labelling him guilty when we only have the word of a drunken girl who cant control herself and does not remember most of the details.
As far as I can see all blame lies on the poster, accusing the guy only serves to take the blame of her and put it unfairly on him.
Lets not plant ideas of rape in her head without the facts to back it up

Reply 32

Captain Haddock

I read the whole thing thinking you were a guy. It added a whole other dimension to the story.

STD test + morning after pill for you.

Reply 33

Clubber Lang

What have you become? Just another girl who has gotten so drunk they cannot stop themselves from getting into a silly situation (you expected criticism!) - welcome to the club.

Was it rape? No one really knows as there are so many factors to consider, only you can decide.

What can you do, well take the pregnancy advice given and calm down on the drink.

Reply 34

Consie

but getting hammered and then expolited doesnt allow for the argument 'you let yourself in for it' though.

Reply 35

Clubber Lang

Consie

but getting hammered and then expolited doesnt allow for the argument 'you let yourself in for it' though.

Is that aimed at me?

Surely getting hammered is allowing yourself to be 'in for it' for MANY things...therefore get hammered with caution :wink:

Reply 36

Consie

yeah, but it doesnt warrent, or justify what people did to you. A rapist cant say 'well its her fault becasue she got hammered and i obviously had to take advantage' and expect the Judge to say 'good point, you're free to go'.

Reply 37

SJ No.18

Only if you have substantial proof of what he done. The girl doesnt even know if they actually had sex. The guy could claim she came onto him while he was drunk

Reply 38

Consie

but the possibility of that happening is much more unlikely than her not wanting to have it, given shes not into sex with strangers.

Reply 39

SJ No.18

Thats an assumption not based on anything concrete apart from her word. We do not know her well enough to give pass judgement on what she can or cannot do. For instance i've met virgins who do almost everything apart from vaginal sex but still call themselves virgin believing they hold some kind of trump card morally. Not saying the OP is like this but given the right circumstance peoples patterns of behaviour change. The OP could opf been taken advantage of but there's equal chance that she wasn't. All i'm saying is we should be wary of alling this a rape before we know ALL the facts and that includes the guys interpretation