Where am I going wrong in finding a guy? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 3 years ago
#1
I'm not far off 30 but I still find it difficult to meet a guy who cares about a relationship and isn't sex mad. I didn't really date when I was younger (nor have friends) I just did sports and keeping fit, I would have dated but no one seemed interested I think because I didn't both with hair and makeup (or didn't know how to). Now I'm kind of stuck in ways, like my own company and still into keeping fit. I get guys interested but the whole sex thing puts me off. I went bowling with a man and afterwards he sent a text saying that he enjoyed it and 'particularly enjoyed spending a great deal of time admiring your behind'. It just put me off, Is it me that is being fussy? I guess I'd just like a guy who is like a best friend and isn't focused on sex all the time. I don't care much about looks I'm not the pretty girly girl type myself so all I'd want is someone who keeps themselves fit (like me), who is open minded and doesn't dislike animals lol (I have a pet rat). I would have to compromise about the rest but yea am I going wrong somewhere? Just wanted advice
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Analyst89
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#2
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Have you tried online dating? There is a ton of online dating websites and I'm sure you'll have guys messaging you.

Alternatives are speed dating, in general going out more and joining clubs out of interest as to increase your chances of finding someone you like.

Good luck!
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ilikechinesefood
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#3
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Cool you have a pet rat. :cool: I guess it would be harder meeting someone else who enjoy's keeping fit and is the sort of decent, not just interested in sex person. As most guy's who keep fit are only interested in sex or gay. Whereas many girls do it to look good. And yeah it would be off putting if a guy was just interested in looking at your bum. Rather than saying something like I was looking at how beautiful you are. So that guy didn't seem the one you are after. PM me if you want to chat, as you seem nice and different.
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Virgil.
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(Original post by Analyst89)
Have you tried online dating? There is a ton of online dating websites and I'm sure you'll have guys messaging you.
:lol:

Online dating is much worse. If she doesnt like a guy making a comment about her arse, then she is going to hate online dating.
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Tootles
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm not far off 30 but I still find it difficult to meet a guy who cares about a relationship and isn't sex mad. I didn't really date when I was younger (nor have friends) I just did sports and keeping fit, I would have dated but no one seemed interested I think because I didn't both with hair and makeup (or didn't know how to). Now I'm kind of stuck in ways, like my own company and still into keeping fit. I get guys interested but the whole sex thing puts me off. I went bowling with a man and afterwards he sent a text saying that he enjoyed it and 'particularly enjoyed spending a great deal of time admiring your behind'. It just put me off, Is it me that is being fussy? I guess I'd just like a guy who is like a best friend and isn't focused on sex all the time. I don't care much about looks I'm not the pretty girly girl type myself so all I'd want is someone who keeps themselves fit (like me), who is open minded and doesn't dislike animals lol (I have a pet rat). I would have to compromise about the rest but yea am I going wrong somewhere? Just wanted advice
  • Are you twelve?
  • Welcome to the world of grown-ups, where people make flirty comments.
  • It sounds like you being twelve.
  • Grown-ups like sex (mostly).

Here's my advice: sit down and try and work out if you're:
  1. twelve,
  2. frigid, or
  3. asexual.
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shawn_o1
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#6
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm not far off 30 but I still find it difficult to meet a guy who cares about a relationship and isn't sex mad. I didn't really date when I was younger (nor have friends) I just did sports and keeping fit, I would have dated but no one seemed interested I think because I didn't both with hair and makeup (or didn't know how to). Now I'm kind of stuck in ways, like my own company and still into keeping fit. I get guys interested but the whole sex thing puts me off. I went bowling with a man and afterwards he sent a text saying that he enjoyed it and 'particularly enjoyed spending a great deal of time admiring your behind'. It just put me off, Is it me that is being fussy? I guess I'd just like a guy who is like a best friend and isn't focused on sex all the time. I don't care much about looks I'm not the pretty girly girl type myself so all I'd want is someone who keeps themselves fit (like me), who is open minded and doesn't dislike animals lol (I have a pet rat). I would have to compromise about the rest but yea am I going wrong somewhere? Just wanted advice
OK, two places for you:
-a pet charity (if you don't mind dogs or cats either)
-a sports club (since the point of the gym is to build fitness for an activity that requires fitness, if you haven't found that activity then attending group sessions at the gym is fine)

Definitely online dating isn't for you, as one mentioned, and even some "irl" people you meet can seem ignorant when it comes to etiquette, you just gotta overcome some weirdos if finding a man is your ultimate goal
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shawtyb
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#7
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you need to go friend-zone hunting
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AndrewSCO
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#8
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(Original post by Tootles)
  • Are you twelve?
  • Welcome to the world of grown-ups, where people make flirty comments.
  • It sounds like you being twelve.
  • Grown-ups like sex (mostly).
Here's my advice: sit down and try and work out if you're:
  1. twelve,
  2. frigid, or
  3. asexual.
Settle down. Only one person is acting 12 in this thread and it's not the OP.
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Sisuphos
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#9
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"fit" guys are going to be very interested in sex. That's how it is, it's a big reason why so many want to be fit in the first place.

Why's that so important to you though? someone may want to be your best friend, he might want a relationship and he may also be very interested in sex. No contradiction.

And yeah his comment was distasteful and a bit lewd so no I don't think you're overreacting with him.
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Zarek
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#10
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#10
I think being sporting is attractive and opens up lots of opportunities to meet like minded guys who want a relationship. Perhaps just emphasise some feminine traits and girly flirting to enhance relationship interest. Guys will be interested in the sexual side of a relationship, it's sort of linked in our minds. The arse comment was a bit premature and crass. Keep at it.
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Virgil.
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#11
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm not far off 30 but I still find it difficult to meet a guy who cares about a relationship and isn't sex mad. I didn't really date when I was younger (nor have friends) I just did sports and keeping fit, I would have dated but no one seemed interested I think because I didn't both with hair and makeup (or didn't know how to). Now I'm kind of stuck in ways, like my own company and still into keeping fit. I get guys interested but the whole sex thing puts me off. I went bowling with a man and afterwards he sent a text saying that he enjoyed it and 'particularly enjoyed spending a great deal of time admiring your behind'. It just put me off, Is it me that is being fussy? I guess I'd just like a guy who is like a best friend and isn't focused on sex all the time. I don't care much about looks I'm not the pretty girly girl type myself so all I'd want is someone who keeps themselves fit (like me), who is open minded and doesn't dislike animals lol (I have a pet rat). I would have to compromise about the rest but yea am I going wrong somewhere? Just wanted advice
You are being too fussy. Guy saying you have a nice arse is not a big deal

Plus even if he wants sex when and if it does happen is up to you. So I guess you just have to hold out on a guy long enough to see if he's willing to take time to get to know you, but dont hold out for too long otherwise he';ll think your frigid and definitely lost interest.
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Anonymous #1
#12
Report Thread starter 3 years ago
#12
(Original post by shawtyb)
you need to go friend-zone hunting
Actually a lot of guys who girls have rejected have seemed nice ive thought 'Id have him myself', but they haven't seemed interested in me. But then ive always been very quiet and should have made more effort. Thing is past that age/stage now a lot of these nice guys are settled/married.
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