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Why Are You So Caught Up on Being in a Relationship? Watch

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    Why are so many of us that are in our 20s or even below so hung up on finding love and being in a relationship when we're so young?

    I personally have gone through relationships and I've come to the conclusion: I don't need to be chasing and I don't neeed to seek validation through someone else's existence in my 20s. I'm past the "craving to be in a relationship" stage.

    I think being in your 20s is all about expressing freedom, and embracing your sexual liberation when you aren't tied down and one person isn't holding you back. You are set back by compromise and why, do you want to have that sort of responsibility in your 20s?

    Being in your 20s should be all about finding out what you want to do life, where you want to go and be. It's all about coming into contact with new experiences and learning about yourself; what you like and what you don't like. It's all about knowing who your friends are and maintaining or developing those friendships. I think you can't have it both ways - you can't live under someone else's thumb or in each other's back pockets and still lead an independent life from one another. So why do so many of us want that relationship at such a young age?

    PS: This post is more adhered to the 21+ who have finished uni and have really experienced a bit more than, say, the average spotty 16 year old .
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    Personally I'm not desperate to find a relationship. I'd like to know why women find me so utterly repulsive they won't even speak to me.

    Plenty of people here can't get a relationships, but can get FWB's, ONS's, whatever.
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    Because man can't slam dudes asses to avoid dry spellz
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    (Original post by Backpacker)
    Because man can't slam dudes asses to avoid dry spellz
    Well, they can...just...ya'know...may not want to.
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    Because I'm in love

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    How else are you meant to feel when single people are pretty much an endangered species at my age?

    I don't know anyone who isn't seeing someone. It's hard listening to everyone at work go on about their wedding, their dinner reservation, their upcoming holiday or getting home to their significant other, knowing that when I get home all I can do is shove something in the microwave and watch TV in my underpants.

    It just makes me feel inferior!
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    (Original post by The Empire Odyssey)
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    Expressing your 'freedom' and finding out what you want to do in life is best done during your teenage years and at university. In your 20s, you want to be laying down the foundations of a career and a relationship.

    The problem with 'freedom' as you describe it is that you don't end up with any long term bonds or plans.

    Actually, I think a better use of freedom is to start building relationships that last and things that matter. Or you'll just end up at 30 with nothing to show for your life except a few broken relationships and a couple of good holidays.


    However, I do realise your point that the castles we build often/sometimes come tumbling down around us. But I don't think that's a reason to start building sandcastles instead.

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    (Original post by The Empire Odyssey)
    Why are so many of us that are in our 20s or even below so hung up on finding love and being in a relationship when we're so young?

    I personally have gone through relationships and I've come to the conclusion: I don't need to be chasing and I don't neeed to seek validation through someone else's existence in my 20s. I'm past the "craving to be in a relationship" stage.

    I think being in your 20s is all about expressing freedom, and embracing your sexual liberation when you aren't tied down and one person isn't holding you back. You are set back by compromise and why, do you want to have that sort of responsibility in your 20s?

    Being in your 20s should be all about finding out what you want to do life, where you want to go and be. It's all about coming into contact with new experiences and learning about yourself; what you like and what you don't like. It's all about knowing who your friends are and maintaining or developing those friendships. I think you can't have it both ways - you can't live under someone else's thumb or in each other's back pockets and still lead an independent life from one another. So why do so many of us want that relationship at such a young age?

    PS: This post is more adhered to the 21+ who have finished uni and have really experienced a bit more than, say, the average spotty 16 year old .
    Errr lol, people have relationships because everyone has an innate need to have an intimate connection with others

    Lols poor attempt at non-conformist rabble rousing post
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    I'm not. Besides, being poly I am not looking for my "one and only". I'm looking for multiple connections that will allow me to share love freely. But I'm not desperate to do that, probably because I know I don't need to a "one and only" to do the whole relationship escalator thing with. Helps that I have no interest in getting married or popping out babies.
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    Probably because we emphasise how happy other couples are that we see out and about, more so when it's our friends. And the ideal of finding a perfect person with which you can just add a whole new dimension to all the things you want to do in life.

    Not to mention we're sexual beings.

    And we want to feel important and good enough, and a relationship is one of the best sources of esteem.


    I say we but I'm actually talking about myself.
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    A lot of people are misinformed by what I implied.

    I think we all have one or more friends who constantly jump from one relationship to another (think Taylor Swift). Some people need or crave to be in a relationship just for the sake of it.

    I'm referring to those type of people. From my perspective, I was one of those until I realised, I'm happy being single (for now) because I want to focus on my education/future and friendships first rather to seek a relationship that has no foundation for anything but "I want to be in a relationship for the sake of it".

    Am I making myself more clearer?
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    (Original post by sr90)
    How else are you meant to feel when single people are pretty much an endangered species at my age?

    I don't know anyone who isn't seeing someone. It's hard listening to everyone at work go on about their wedding, their dinner reservation, their upcoming holiday or getting home to their significant other, knowing that when I get home all I can do is shove something in the microwave and watch TV in my underpants.

    It just makes me feel inferior!
    I feel like this coming up to 30 and not long finished a relationship. Luckily I'm working in Spain at the moment and it´s amazing how many people are single in their 30s compared to the UK. Most of my British friends are married or having children and it's so easy to feel left on the shelf.

    Anyway, some people have a real fear of being alone. I have known people who the second they leave a partner are searching for the next and it's not really a healthy way to be. You have to be able to deal with yourself to deal healthily with other people.
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    I think your 20's is when you can grind towards a career at your highest level, as you don't have the responsibilities or the baggage that come along in the 30's.
 
 
 
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