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I'm Dull! HELP ME!

Seriously, I'm dull. I tend not to do anything interesting, I only play video games until my eyes go square, sit in my room and watch TV. Starting to get sick of it now. I've a good range of friends and used to go out quite a bit but I feel like a dirty dull shoe next to their polished selfs. They seem to think I'm funny and interesting.... errr... dunno where they got that idea, but apparantly I had a Golden Era a few years back where I was a jolly Santa Claus esque person 'who took things as they came'. It's strange I even have as many friends as I do now... but somehow I managed... tho back in Primary school I was as lonely as Jesus in the Desert, not by choice...

Help me shed the shackles of dullness! Is it possible to shine after being dull for so long? I know maybe I can do it because truly dull people are those who don't know any better and don't really want to change. I'm not a stupid guy, every IQ test I've ever taken puts me up at 122 and I do pretty good academically, I did a few to get the average... sadddddd I know. I'm not blowing my trumpet because IMO I don't have one. I have a **** poor memory and concentration so I reckon my IQ is going to waste... and I'm sadly a dull witted asshat. Wish I was more imaginative and creative also, sometimes I get these periods where I'm 'me x5' and I feel more capable and funny, with a better memory but they tend to go after a week or two and I sink into miserableness...

So I reckon I have it in me. It just feels like I'm trying to draw blood from a stone most of the time, I'm just stuck for conversation... it doesn't help that I can't really work up an interest in most things saying as I'm looking inward and trying to work out the mudpit that is my mind... but when I feel 'x5' I tend to get interested but it's hard keeping it up when the inevitable ****ty mood comes by to piss me off even more. I have like an eternal invigilator in my mind that puts a grade on anything I say, and if it aint witty or clever enough then it puts me down a peg lower in terms of happiness.

I'm applying for jobs now to do away with the holiday boredom, but I'm worried I'll have the other staff bringing pillows into work saying as I'm usually a conversational dud.

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Reply 1

mascara_eyes

dont be too hard on urself, if you were actually dull u wudnt have friends in the firs place. how about tlking to a close friend and telling them how u feel? that way u can gain another opinion and not feel so bad on urself.

Reply 2

Sundous

if you'd be dull, that what you just typed would be the most boring thing i'd read..ever.

But it isn't, so chill and don't worry so much :biggrin:

Reply 3

Riim

You're not dull you're lazy and bored. :p:

Reply 4

N_n_N

yes you are just too clever to find anything interesting going on in the boring World of dull people :tongue:

Reply 5

40550

You sound pretty interesting to me. Most people are critical of themselves and are unaware of how they come across to other people. You say you have a good range of mates so how dull can you be. I would just go on working with what you've got.

Reply 6

Double Agent

Your life sounds very empty. Stop with the tv and games, and go out and do things all day. This will give you more structure to your days, which will make you feel better, but alo gives you things to talk about. Keep busy. You dont sound dull, but what you do sounds dull.

collect weird stuff.

Do stuff that's away from the computer.

Easier said than done I know, having just spent a whole evening infront of it.

Finding people with similar passions and interests is another thing. The question is where. Over the past few years I found that most of my friends had only one thing in common with me and that was ballroom dancing. (Big society in Cambridge.) Being all scientists none of them had an interest in politics, history or current affairs. (Not easy when you're a civil servant!)

However, once the move to London last December took place, I finally found my little niche.

So really the advice is to get out and about. I've found that volunteering is the easiest - and sometimes the cheapest way to do things that are outside the comfort zone. I did a couple of weeks with the RSPB a few years ago and ended up spending a couple of days at one of theirs nature reserve. Didn't cost a penny.

Reply 9

Firearm

Join some clubs/societies.

I used to have similar problems, moving 6 times through my childhood, after losing my old friends at primary school, then secondary school becoming socially recluded and very dependent on the old computer.

I had problems making friends, and I could go through phases of being found to be extremely funny, but it never lasted long enough for me to build strong enough friendships because of an old lack of confidence.

What helped me is trying to remember that you do always have to put effort into making friends, becoming more socially accepted, so keep trying and try and get into the mindset that 'most people want to be my friend'

You're probably not dull, but lacking in some confidence and situations to use your wit in. You can't crack out a funny joke 24/7 and expect attention from everyone you meet - fact of life.

Just get out there, be a bit spontaneous and you'll prove yourself very wrong.

Reply 10

bisous

You sound quite cool actually, quite funny in a wry way.

Reply 11

A SoapBubble

you cant be that bad, i just read your entire post without falling asleep once!
go and do some stuff...turn the tv off and get out with friends. if they thought you were dull then they wouldnt tell you that you're funny. no one can be funny 24/7 after all. the more you don't go out though, the greater the chances are that dullness may start to be a problem....

Reply 12

Consie

join a sports team, you instantly make 11 mates and end up becoming part of their groups to an extent as you go for post match beers ect. This is if your into sport like.

Reply 13

Chumbaniya

From the sound of the post, I'd say you're not dull, you're bored. The most likely reason you feel that way isn't because you're less interesting than other people, but because you know you could be far more interesting but you're not making much of an effort to do interesting things.

Reply 14

Music_Enthusiast

You actually sound pretty fun from your writing style. Maybe you should get an interesting, constructive hobby? Spend more time with your mates? Something thats gonna take you out of the house more..

Anonymous

I have like an eternal invigilator in my mind that puts a grade on anything I say, and if it aint witty or clever enough then it puts me down a peg lower in terms of happiness.

I used to be paranoid like this until after I stopped smoking drugs....

Reply 15

Consie

i get that when trying to chat up girls. its like *statement* 10 second gap, followed by '****, that sounded dumb'

Reply 16

Persephone*

From the style in which you wrote your message you honestly don't sound like a dull person at all.

Reply 17

Hedger

Riim

You're not dull you're lazy and bored. :p:

Wow, couldn't have been said any better.

Reply 18

Marianne

Not everyone has to be the life and soul, OP.

In fact, people who sit back and observe tend to come out with the wittiest, zingiest one liners.

Consider your input into the conversation quality rather than quantity!

Reply 19

lea164

more a state of mind than actually being dull. If you think that your interesting (without being arrogant) then you'll say more interesting things and more likely to come across as interesting.

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