Muslim females:do your parents want/let you move out

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samiyaab
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I lurk on the site occasionally however need some advice. I'm about to enter year 13 and so I'm now considering university choices. My 5 choices are relatively far away, with the furthest being Liverpool. My parents really aren't happy with the idea of me moving out and want me to stay close. There's one good uni near me however I don't like the course structure there. I was wondering if anyone else faced similar problems? Or for girls from a Muslim family who were allowed to move out for uni how did ur parents deal with it/how did u convince them?
Thanks
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samiyaab
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Anyone?
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Anonymous #1
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If you're able to get into a good uni, prioritise it over the distance. It kinda sounds like you could persuade your parents to let you move out. Just explain to them that the nearby uni isn't good and go for a top 20. Say you'll visit on weekends.

My parents didn't even want me to go to uni. I had such a **** gap year when I finished college. My dad was adamant that I didn't go to uni. Already deciding for me and telling people "she isn't going" giving me no alternative?? What kind of parent wants their kid to do **** all with their life? Thanks dad

Anyway the next year I applied to a uni near me and had to travel but I had just passed my driving test so it was fine. Now I'm graduating with a 2:1.

You really just need to push for it as it's your education afterall. Explain to them why you're applying to those unis and why the nearby ones aren't good enough. Maybe if you have girl cousins/friends who live out for uni you could mention that also. Good luck!
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porn induced coma
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Well...if you have brother/s that were allowed to go you could try explaining what a double standard is to them.

If not, try explaining how important an education is. Only entirely stupid people could not understand that.*
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Mother's Mercy
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It's your education. Don't let your parents prevent you from educating yourself... whatever your religion is.
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samiyaab
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(Original post by Anonymous)
If you're able to get into a good uni, prioritise it over the distance. It kinda sounds like you could persuade your parents to let you move out. Just explain to them that the nearby uni isn't good and go for a top 20. Say you'll visit on weekends.

My parents didn't even want me to go to uni. I had such a **** gap year when I finished college. My dad was adamant that I didn't go to uni. Already deciding for me and telling people "she isn't going" giving me no alternative?? What kind of parent wants their kid to do **** all with their life? Thanks dad

Anyway the next year I applied to a uni near me and had to travel but I had just passed my driving test so it was fine. Now I'm graduating with a 2:1.

You really just need to push for it as it's your education afterall. Explain to them why you're applying to those unis and why the nearby ones aren't good enough. Maybe if you have girl cousins/friends who live out for uni you could mention that also. Good luck!
I tried. However they just say that because I want to do a History degree it doesn't matter which uni I go and that it's not right for a Muslim girl to be living alone before getting married. My cousin was allowed to move out and I was considering asking her parents to speak to mine but they're not really on good terms.
Thank you for your advice anyway and well done on your achievements!
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by samiyaab)
I tried. However they just say that because I want to do a History degree it doesn't matter which uni I go and that it's not right for a Muslim girl to be living alone before getting married. My cousin was allowed to move out and I was considering asking her parents to speak to mine but they're not really on good terms.
Thank you for your advice anyway and well done on your achievements!
I know exactly how this feels. My younger girl cousin is living out at uni and her parents give their kids so much freedom. However, they drink/party/have boyfriends and apparently their parents are clueless/don't care so whatever.

My sister in law has really supportive parents who pushed for her education, but she still had to live home and travel to and from KCL as she lived in London. Her other sister was allowed to move out though 4 hours away.

Where abouts do you live? Do you drive?
Ideally you do want to move out for uni so keep trying to persuade them! Insha'Allah they'll let you.

And thank you!
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username2313507
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Most universities will have some form of single sex accomadation. These are often filled with religious students and won't have much of the drinking/sex/party/drugs culture seen in other groups - will this persuade your parents?

Particularly considering that you're looking to do history, the quality of the university you study at is of extreme importance. Most graduate jobs won't care too much about the degree itself and place greater emphasis on other factors, many of which are better developed at better universities - helping you to get the best possible job.

Maybe use this logic to persuade your parents? Tell them you'll be a better Muslim by having more money for Zakat, Hajj and other things you should be doing.
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ahpnd
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I sympathise with what you're saying because I too went through a similar thing. Earlier this year I had to choose my universities and because my older brother moved out, I thought why couldn't I? I think trust plays a big part regardless of religion. My mum took a lot of persuading because of the whole trust issue but I just had to explain that I want to study Law Insha'Allah and the universities near me aren't that good for Law and the only one that is, requires grades that I probably won't be able to achieve. I also explained about the single- sex accommodation but once you show that you can be trusted I guess it will be okay. One big tip that helped me, was actually visiting the university with my mum, or in your case both parents. My mum loved the university and that helped ALOT which is currently my firm choice and Insha'Allah I hope I did good enough to get in!
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