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    I feel like there are loads of people who are in my situation, and this topic has probably been discussed countless times but whatever. Anyway, I've been mates with this girl for a few years now and she considers me as her best friend but I don't quite feel the same, even though she is only one of 2 people I actually speak to as 'friends'. She is okay sometimes, but I've noticed that one massive flaw in her personality is that she tends to be quite bossy.

    For instance, when I often go round to her house, both her and her mother will pressurise me into taking some of their old clothes that they don't need, and making me try them on. A lot of the time, the clothes do not appeal to me, so I try and say 'no' in the most polite way possible but they will still try and make me take them home. They will often guilt trip me or say stuff like 'You are doing us a favour if you take it, because we are clearing out our house' etc, despite me telling them that my mum hates it when I keep bringing stuff from their house (She thinks that they think we are poor/cannot afford clothes, but we are not). So they tell me to try and hide them from my mum, which I feel is slightly disrespectful of them, but me being me, ends up doing so, just to be polite. My friend also tries to tell me what to wear/ how I should wear my clothes which also annoys me too.

    Another thing about her is that she is always in and out of trouble. She hangs around with the bad crowd and often gets involved into situations that she does not need to. She can be hot tempered- she and her mother once hospitalised a girl during a fight that they were in but they both lied about the true details of the event to me, despite the whole of school knowing what happened. If someone considered you as a true friend, would you not expect them to be truthful with you? This event also made me reconsider my trust with her.

    One final thing is that she is one of those people who feels that their opinion is above everyone elses. E.g. we could both be talking about a particular topic, but she would often interrupt me and and begin telling her own long anecdotes. Also, whenever I start a new topic or conversation, if it is of no interest to her, she would sometimes take no note and abruptly start an irrelevant conversation.

    I know that everyone has flaws, and Im not saying she's a bad person, but due to her personality and lifestyle I dont really feel at ease with her, compared to my other friend. I feel like I have to stick with her because not only does she consider me as a best friend, I only have one other friend that I speak to (I'm in year 13, so making friends from scratch at this stage is a bit tough).

    I am planning on going to uni soon, and I am hoping to slowly drift away from her, but do you guys have any tips and how I should go about with this in the meantime? I am scared to just suddenly cut her off because I see her on a regular basis and I'd hate the awkwardness lol.
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    I think you'd need to talk to her about how you feel if you want to end your friendship, or at least get her to consider her behaviour. It's perfectly reasonable for you to dislike what she is acting like, but it's only fair that you let her know this by voicing your concerns. From how you describe her personality, I wouldn't think she's the sort of person who would just "drift away"- if she is bossy she is likely to try and maintain some control in your friendship with her, e.g. making sure she keeps in contact. That's why I think you need to be affirmative, so that you can get a definitive result either way, either by ending the friendship (which doesn't have to be done in a heated way) or by agreeing to respect eachother's wishes more- you may behave in ways that she dislikes, have your thought of that?? Perhaps you could both make a compromise. Anyway, I hope I helped.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I feel like there are loads of people who are in my situation, and this topic has probably been discussed countless times but whatever. Anyway, I've been mates with this girl for a few years now and she considers me as her best friend but I don't quite feel the same, even though she is only one of 2 people I actually speak to as 'friends'. She is okay sometimes, but I've noticed that one massive flaw in her personality is that she tends to be quite bossy.

    For instance, when I often go round to her house, both her and her mother will pressurise me into taking some of their old clothes that they don't need, and making me try them on. A lot of the time, the clothes do not appeal to me, so I try and say 'no' in the most polite way possible but they will still try and make me take them home. They will often guilt trip me or say stuff like 'You are doing us a favour if you take it, because we are clearing out our house' etc, despite me telling them that my mum hates it when I keep bringing stuff from their house (She thinks that they think we are poor/cannot afford clothes, but we are not). So they tell me to try and hide them from my mum, which I feel is slightly disrespectful of them, but me being me, ends up doing so, just to be polite. My friend also tries to tell me what to wear/ how I should wear my clothes which also annoys me too.

    Another thing about her is that she is always in and out of trouble. She hangs around with the bad crowd and often gets involved into situations that she does not need to. She can be hot tempered- she and her mother once hospitalised a girl during a fight that they were in but they both lied about the true details of the event to me, despite the whole of school knowing what happened. If someone considered you as a true friend, would you not expect them to be truthful with you? This event also made me reconsider my trust with her.

    One final thing is that she is one of those people who feels that their opinion is above everyone elses. E.g. we could both be talking about a particular topic, but she would often interrupt me and and begin telling her own long anecdotes. Also, whenever I start a new topic or conversation, if it is of no interest to her, she would sometimes take no note and abruptly start an irrelevant conversation.

    I know that everyone has flaws, and Im not saying she's a bad person, but due to her personality and lifestyle I dont really feel at ease with her, compared to my other friend. I feel like I have to stick with her because not only does she consider me as a best friend, I only have one other friend that I speak to (I'm in year 13, so making friends from scratch at this stage is a bit tough).

    I am planning on going to uni soon, and I am hoping to slowly drift away from her, but do you guys have any tips and how I should go about with this in the meantime? I am scared to just suddenly cut her off because I see her on a regular basis and I'd hate the awkwardness lol.
    You seem intelligent and she seems rather stupid. You'll naturally repel each other, even without trying. That's probably why you're getting into these silly arguments. Also, it seems like you are remaining friends with her out of guilt/sympathy, rather than genuine friendship. I'd just act normal and go to uni and forget about her, to put it simply.


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    Once you get to uni cut her off- simple as.
 
 
 
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