The Student Room Group

I hate my vagina to the point that it stops me from having relationships.

I have really big labia minora - REALLY big - they both dangle down far beyond the labia majora and are very dark and wrinkly, with folds. I also have a very large clitoral hood. Everything is on show pretty much. The one time I let a guy see them, he never spoke to me again - could be for other reasons, but it definitely knocked my confidence.I constantly hear guys joking about vaginas, calling ones like mine "kebab fanny", "hanging ham" etc and it makes me feel hideous. This isn't the first time I've reached out for advice online, and every single time I get the response "if he doesn't like your vagina then he's not worth your time" etc but literally NO ONE is going to like the state of my vagina, I am 100% sure.I detest it myself and I can hardly expect others to think otherwise, or I would be deluded. My vagina is similar to those on the large labia project tumblr page, perhaps worse than some of them.I know it's trash TV but considering it has "real" people rather than porn stars and designer vaginas, I thought I'd take a look at Channel 4's Naked Attraction. Literally ALL of these women have nice, neat normal vaginas in comparison to my mess down below.I'm 22 years old and I'm still a virgin for that exact reason - I've had plenty opportunity for sex but I've been so terrified of letting people see my vagina that I've broken things off as soon as they got intimate. It's literally got to the point where any time I have the chance to date someone new I just say no straight away because I can't bear the moment they'll have to look at me down there.I definitely want a labiaplasty, but paying ~£3,000 as a student seems impossible and I'm not graduating until 2020 due to the length of my course. Is there any point in seeing my GP about it for potentially getting NHS treatment? I haven't told anyone in real life about this, ever, and I'm even too embarrassed to see my GP because I don't want them to think of me as an annoying, vain time-waster.

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Reply 1
"Occasionally, a labiaplasty may be carried out on the NHS if the vaginal lips are obviously abnormal and causing the woman distress or harming her health. "
Reply 2
Original post by dcthorpe
"Occasionally, a labiaplasty may be carried out on the NHS if the vaginal lips are obviously abnormal and causing the woman distress or harming her health. "

I saw that on the NHS website but surely my case won't be considered severe enough? Like I don't have problems with pain from clothing. It's purely how it looks
Reply 3
Original post by Anonymous
I saw that on the NHS website but surely my case won't be considered severe enough? Like I don't have problems with pain from clothing. It's purely how it looks


Mental/emotional issues are still important. You wouldn't think twice about seeing the doctor if it was physical, and what do you have to lose anyway?
Reply 4
People keep saying this but regardless of whether someone tells me they're not bothered, it will always be in the back of my mind and I'll feel like they're lying just to try make me feel better about myself
Original post by Anonymous
I have really big labia minora - REALLY big - they both dangle down far beyond the labia majora and are very dark and wrinkly, with folds. I also have a very large clitoral hood. Everything is on show pretty much. The one time I let a guy see them, he never spoke to me again - could be for other reasons, but it definitely knocked my confidence.I constantly hear guys joking about vaginas, calling ones like mine "kebab fanny", "hanging ham" etc and it makes me feel hideous. This isn't the first time I've reached out for advice online, and every single time I get the response "if he doesn't like your vagina then he's not worth your time" etc but literally NO ONE is going to like the state of my vagina, I am 100% sure.I detest it myself and I can hardly expect others to think otherwise, or I would be deluded. My vagina is similar to those on the large labia project tumblr page, perhaps worse than some of them.I know it's trash TV but considering it has "real" people rather than porn stars and designer vaginas, I thought I'd take a look at Channel 4's Naked Attraction. Literally ALL of these women have nice, neat normal vaginas in comparison to my mess down below.I'm 22 years old and I'm still a virgin for that exact reason - I've had plenty opportunity for sex but I've been so terrified of letting people see my vagina that I've broken things off as soon as they got intimate. It's literally got to the point where any time I have the chance to date someone new I just say no straight away because I can't bear the moment they'll have to look at me down there.I definitely want a labiaplasty, but paying ~£3,000 as a student seems impossible and I'm not graduating until 2020 due to the length of my course. Is there any point in seeing my GP about it for potentially getting NHS treatment? I haven't told anyone in real life about this, ever, and I'm even too embarrassed to see my GP because I don't want them to think of me as an annoying, vain time-waster.


See you're GP. They will help you much better than anyone on here.

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Reply 6
For sure see your GP, they will have seen more minges than you can shake a stick at and will be able to put you concerns in perspective and if necessary recommend treatment.Personally I find the concept of an unattractive vulva quite unlikely. A bit like a penis there is something vaguely unaesthetic about them, but in fact they are 'all girl' and great.
I have exactly the same - the lips hang down loads, to the point where sometimes it can be uncomfotable sitting in tight jeans etc. When i was a virgin I was just like you, worried about them, embarrassed and thinking I was abnormal/disgusting and that no one would want me. However when I did eventually start having sex, no guys I have been with have ever mentioned it, seemed off put by it or even noticed it from what I can tell!
A website that really helped me to build my confidence was this one http://loveyourlabia.tumblr.com/ and made me realise that having large labia is really common!! No guy will ever be shocked or disgusted by what he sees down there, trust me, just have confidence! No one can help what they are born with

And another thing from my experience...when being naked in front of someone, the other person is just thinking about themselves and worrying about what they look like to you anyway
:smile:
Oh and dont worry I watched naked attraction too and was shocked at how tiny the girls' labias were!! You're really not alone or different, so many people have longer labias so please dont be beating yourself up anymore about this!!
I was just looking and found some more websites that helped me to realise lots of people dont have 'pornstar' vaginas, and helped me to gain coonfidence in myself;

http://realwomensbodies.tumblr.com/
http://beautifullabia.tumblr.com/
You are worrying so much about this that you are not actually testing the water as it were. You can have sex with the lights out - loads of girls do (and boys, I expect). Nearly everyone thinks there is something wrong with their body: too small, too fat; too hairy; the list is endless. Your design is just different but obviously that's easy for any of us to say. We are not you.
Loads of women have dangly bits and loads have dark bits. The ones you see on TV are all pretty because the girls adhere to the stereotype neat little pussy: trust me, not that many people really look like that, and who wants to look at one that seems to belong to a child anyway? Yours is natural and brilliant and you are beautiful.
See your doctor first (for medical guidance and reassurance) by all means but - believe me - there are plenty of men out there who will love your assets.
The only way to know about whether or not you could get one on the NHS is to go and ask :smile: Your GP will understand when you explain the emotional distress it's causing you.

As for now, I will say that generally someone who respects and loves you WILL NOT MIND. In fact they may love it. Everyone has different preferences and someone who is into you romantically or sexually could totally get down with it. They may well be really honest about it and comment on the fact it's really big, but this doesn't mean they won't actually love it and enjoying having sex with you.

Original post by Anonymous
This isn't the first time I've reached out for advice online, and every single time I get the response "if he doesn't like your vagina then he's not worth your time" etc but literally NO ONE is going to like the state of my vagina, I am 100% sure.I detest it myself and I can hardly expect others to think otherwise, or I would be deluded.


I know I said something along these lines, but it's true! You can't be 100% sure that NO ONE will like it because you haven't slept with everyone or even discussed everyone's vagina preferences. I've always had issues with various parts of my body but there's always someone who doesn't seem to understand why I have such an issue.

Even though my main message for things like this will always be that you should try and accept and love your body, I understand how difficult this is (I still haven't managed it) and if you feel like you need the surgery for that confidence, definitely go see your GP. I wish you the best of luck <3

edit
ALSO you are not abnormal. You might have a vagina that looks different to the most common ones presented to us in the media but I'm pretty sure vaginas are like snowflakes - all different and special in their own way #inspire
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
I have really big labia minora - REALLY big - they both dangle down far beyond the labia majora and are very dark and wrinkly, with folds. I also have a very large clitoral hood. Everything is on show pretty much. The one time I let a guy see them, he never spoke to me again - could be for other reasons, but it definitely knocked my confidence.I constantly hear guys joking about vaginas, calling ones like mine "kebab fanny", "hanging ham" etc and it makes me feel hideous. This isn't the first time I've reached out for advice online, and every single time I get the response "if he doesn't like your vagina then he's not worth your time" etc but literally NO ONE is going to like the state of my vagina, I am 100% sure.I detest it myself and I can hardly expect others to think otherwise, or I would be deluded. My vagina is similar to those on the large labia project tumblr page, perhaps worse than some of them.I know it's trash TV but considering it has "real" people rather than porn stars and designer vaginas, I thought I'd take a look at Channel 4's Naked Attraction. Literally ALL of these women have nice, neat normal vaginas in comparison to my mess down below.I'm 22 years old and I'm still a virgin for that exact reason - I've had plenty opportunity for sex but I've been so terrified of letting people see my vagina that I've broken things off as soon as they got intimate. It's literally got to the point where any time I have the chance to date someone new I just say no straight away because I can't bear the moment they'll have to look at me down there.I definitely want a labiaplasty, but paying ~£3,000 as a student seems impossible and I'm not graduating until 2020 due to the length of my course. Is there any point in seeing my GP about it for potentially getting NHS treatment? I haven't told anyone in real life about this, ever, and I'm even too embarrassed to see my GP because I don't want them to think of me as an annoying, vain time-waster.

He was just the wrong guy. His loss. What you have is beautiful. There are many of us out there that adore and love larger lips. :smile: j find it really attractive.. Try to embrace your gift :smile: and don't be conditioned by the designer vagina porn world.
Regards
find someone who loves and accepts for who you are and they wont care about your kebab he'll eat it like its one:wink: (not being nasty, youre beautiful)
Thanks everyone... There's a guy I like but I feel too gross to accept his offer of a date. Its such a personal thing and it gets me down so much to the point I feel I can't ever be intimate with someone. I think I'm going to see the GP about this when I get back to uni, and fingers crossed they may offer me something with the NHS
I'll take you on a date :smile:
Try not to get down lady
Original post by Bigchrisleeds
I'll take you on a date :smile:
Try not to get down lady


I'm not asking for dates, I get plenty of them and this is not a dating thread. Go to tinder if that's what you're looking for
Original post by Anonymous
I'm not asking for dates, I get plenty of them and this is not a dating thread. Go to tinder if that's what you're looking for


Sorry I meant it as a positive. Don't use tinder. :frown:
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by Bigchrisleeds
Sorry I meant it as a positive. Don't use tinder. :frown:


Even I saw the sincerity of what you meant Chris, what a biatch this OP is.
Original post by triplet3
Oh and dont worry I watched naked attraction too and was shocked at how tiny the girls' labias were!! You're really not alone or different, so many people have longer labias so please dont be beating yourself up anymore about this!!
I was just looking and found some more websites that helped me to realise lots of people dont have 'pornstar' vaginas, and helped me to gain coonfidence in myself;

http://realwomensbodies.tumblr.com/
http://beautifullabia.tumblr.com/


You're awesome for sharing this. We come in all shapes and sizes


Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by NoPunInThisName
Even I saw the sincerity of what you meant Chris, what a biatch this OP is.


LOL