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Ex bf replies to texts but never initiates them? watch

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    What's going on in his head?

    He is really responsive when I text him, replies within minutes, texts are longer than mine and he seems eager to talk to me. But I've started all 3 convos (after 2 weeks of no contact). It's been 4 days since we last talked :/ It just hurts that I guess he doesn't care anymore. I don't intend to take him back but the last convo we had before NC started ended on a positive (as positive as it can be anyway) note with mutual understanding and we share lots of mutual friends so I want to stay friends with him. Also strange as it sounds talking to him is really helping with the healing process

    P.S. He broke up with me (lots of times in one month) but then went through great lengths to try and win me back. He said he still loves me and it was fear of commitment because he was cheated on in the past etc but says he's changed now. I was willing to risk being hurt again to see this "change" but I kept finding out lots of disrespectful/hurtful things he did to me behind my back during our relationship which led to the relationships demise...
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    (Original post by cajach)
    What's going on in his head?

    He is really responsive when I text him, replies within minutes, texts are longer than mine and he seems eager to talk to me. But I've started all 3 convos (after 2 weeks of no contact). It's been 4 days since we last talked :/ It just hurts that I guess he doesn't care anymore. I don't intend to take him back but we ended it on a positive (as positive as it can be anyway) note with mutual understanding and we share lots of mutual friends so I want to stay friends with him. Also strange as it sounds talking to him is really helping with the healing process

    P.S. He broke up with me (lots of times in one month) but then went through great lengths to try and win me back. He said he still loves me and it was fear of commitment because he was cheated on in the past etc but says he's changed now. I was willing to risk being hurt again to see this "change" but I kept finding out lots of disrespectful/hurtful things he did to me behind my back during our relationship which led to the relationships demise...
    Why do you want to give him a chance?
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    Trick question, you shouldnt be texting or in contact with your ex given what you have written in your post. It is not easy I know, but you're better off when that happens.
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    (Original post by SeanFM)
    Trick question, you shouldnt be texting or in contact with your ex given what you have written in your post. It is not easy I know, but you're better off when that happens.
    Yeeessssssssssss!!!
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    (Original post by SeanFM)
    Trick question, you shouldnt be texting or in contact with your ex given what you have written in your post. It is not easy I know, but you're better off when that happens.
    Fair point. He didn't treat me right but I don't think it was intentionally to hurt me either. He is a good guy and we share lots of friends. Also talking to him is helping me get over him strange as it sounds. But his lack of effort makes me feel like he never cared and was just using me. Was hoping someone would give me some insight into the male psyche hah
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    (Original post by stargirl63)
    Why do you want to give him a chance?
    I'm not giving him another chance at us. But I do want to remain friends. According to daily mail that makes me a psychopath? Haha
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    (Original post by cajach)
    I'm not giving him another chance at us. But I do want to remain friends. According to daily mail that makes me a psychopath? Haha
    Funny thing is I have a similar thing with my ex lol, I want to remain friends with her as it helps rather than forgetting all the memories we have had together.
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    (Original post by cajach)
    What's going on in his head?

    He is really responsive when I text him, replies within minutes, texts are longer than mine and he seems eager to talk to me. But I've started all 3 convos (after 2 weeks of no contact). It's been 4 days since we last talked :/ It just hurts that I guess he doesn't care anymore. I don't intend to take him back but we ended it on a positive (as positive as it can be anyway) note with mutual understanding and we share lots of mutual friends so I want to stay friends with him. Also strange as it sounds talking to him is really helping with the healing process

    P.S. He broke up with me (lots of times in one month) but then went through great lengths to try and win me back. He said he still loves me and it was fear of commitment because he was cheated on in the past etc but says he's changed now. I was willing to risk being hurt again to see this "change" but I kept finding out lots of disrespectful/hurtful things he did to me behind my back during our relationship which led to the relationships demise...
    seriously that is so rude, you need to get rid of him 👋🏿
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    (Original post by Ajsc)
    Funny thing is I have a similar thing with my ex lol, I want to remain friends with her as it helps get over her.
    Right?! It seems so illogical but it helps so much. I guess that person was your emotional pillar for so long that personally it was more destructive than helpful to suddenly cut them from my life completely in a time where you need that emotional support more than ever.
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    (Original post by sadixx)
    seriously that is so rude, you need to get rid of him 👋🏿
    It is I genuinely don't want to take him back but I don't want to cut him out completely. He's made some mistakes (well a lot actually) but he is a good guy.
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    (Original post by cajach)
    It is I genuinely don't want to take him back but I don't want to cut him out completely. He's made some mistakes (well a lot actually) but he is a good guy.
    don't message him again, let him come to you
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    (Original post by sadixx)
    don't message him again, let him come to you
    Yeah I wasn't planning on starting another one. Don't want to give him the impression I want him back. If he doesn't message I guess I'll just take the hint and leave him be. Thank you
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    (Original post by cajach)
    Fair point. He didn't treat me right but I don't think it was intentionally to hurt me either. He is a good guy and we share lots of friends. Also talking to him is helping me get over him strange as it sounds. But his lack of effort makes me feel like he never cared and was just using me. Was hoping someone would give me some insight into the male psyche hah
    You're jumping to conclusions there which doesn't help, when you say that his lack of effort now suggests he 'never cared' - that's a bit of an overstatement, no? I don't know anything about either of you and I don't know what things he 'unintentionally' did so I can't comment on whether he never cared or not. Whether there is any 'insight' that someone can give about this guy, I don't know. Maybe one of your mutual friends who knows about these things can give you a much more well-informed opinion.

    Also, you say that it's helping with the healing process. That may be true to some extent but you'd be surprised - perhaps subconsciously there'll be a part of you that isn't letting go, even if you cannot see that for yourself. If it's more trouble than it's worth though you should just slowly fade out from his life.
 
 
 
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