My girlfriend and I met at uni. We were in the same flat, and we were both shy. Neither of us had had a proper relationship before, and I was a virgin. We got together after about a month, and we're still together.
In my head I never expected it to last so long. But it has, and here we are. I don't like being at home, it makes me miserable, so I stayed with her over Summer. I have a job in her town and I'm working until we go back to uni.
I transferred to a different course at a different uni after my first year, but in the same city. She's really enthusiastic about finding a flat for us to live in, we're doing viewings tomorrow. I don't want to look at flats, I want to go into halls again. I spent almost the whole year in a relationship last time, and I didn't commit to my course at all so I made very few friends.
I know if I don't go into halls this year, I'll never have that uni experience. And I really am scared of that. I also don't know if I want to take such a large step in our relationship. I can't see myself being with her forever, we're 10 months in and I don't want to cement myself into a situation where I'm not entirely comfortable.
I suggested halls yesterday, just offhand. I said we could still see eachother every day. She sulked for hours. I feel trapped and I don't know what to do.
Not sure I can go through with it Watch
- Thread Starter
- 05-08-2016 16:43
- 05-08-2016 17:13
If you really loved your girlfriend you'd choose her over anything, she sounds like she's fairly obsessive and if you can't see yourself having a future with her then maybe you should let go, uni is an experience you'll remember for life and you don't want to look back on it with regret.. Go with what's gonna make you happy because you need to row YOUR boat merrily down the stream and you don't want her to make it capsize
- 05-08-2016 17:32
I disagree with the comment 'if you love your girlfriend you'd choose her over anything' (especially in a 10-month relationship), this isn't a disastrous alteration to your relationship and she should realise that.
Your girlfriend should understand and not push you into things you don't want to do. Slow the relationship down, realise what you want. Its ok to be selfish at times, if we weren't a bit selfish no-one would get anywhere.
If SHE loves you she will understand, you have to find a mutual ground, in which you are both happy. Do not put her first and do everything for her because ''thats what you do in love'', because you won't have time for yourself or do things for yourself. Do the things for her you want to do and explain to her and find mutual ground with the other.
Don't feel trapped, do what you believe is the right thing to do and the thing you want to do.
- 05-08-2016 17:58
you need to stick to your guns, if you feel unhappy and resentful and end up breaking up while you're both tied into an expensive housing contract that is going to put high strain on your academic success...
why not suggest you take a middle ground and move into the same halls building but in different rooms so you still have your own space?
it might not seem nice but you have to take things at your own pace and if she can't accept that then perhaps that's not the right relationship