My boyfriend's parents have 'banned' me from going to their caravan when they are there as they think I'm lazy and unhelpful and anti-social. His parents and other site members are trying to turn him against me saying I'm anti-social. He laid into me last night saying I hog the TV even though I don't watch it when they are there and don't help out - which is a lie as I help out a lot and I'm surprised his parents didn't bother to tell him this.
Over the weekend his mom snapped at me a few times and gave me 'looks' I don't really want to mention this as he will just have a go at me again and people always side with their family no matter what. He made me cry saying no wonder I have no friends just cos I don't say much or ‘make the effort’ to his parents and site friends. I told him it’s not fair, I'm a shy person finding groups hard. I gained a lot of confidence years ago made lots of effort to make friends but people didn't want to know so he cannot blame me for having low self esteem after that.
I have told him I do not wish to go there now as its too much working then going away for the weekend week after week without a day off - plus being made unwelcome isn't nice. He didn't understand this and said he can do week after week like that. I know for a fact he wouldn’t want to spend a whole weekend with my family, so he is being unreasonable. I explained families are going to differ in their ways of doing things. Apparently his parents never liked his last girlfriend and I don't know if I could marry a guy whose parents try giving me a hard time. He doesn't realise I would rather spend time with my family and friends than his family who I don't really know. We have been together nearly 3 years.
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- 14-07-2007 10:37
- 14-07-2007 16:03
Sorry you're having a bad time.
My cousin went through this, married a guy but her husband's mom made her life hell, eventually they split and it didn't help the fact he didn't defend her when his mom would criticise her.
Sounds like they wants what's best for their son, but by being interferring they are going to make him unhappy. Ignore their behaviour, I'm sure they have annoying habits which you wouldn't be so rude to rant about.
- 14-07-2007 16:12
it might be good for you to spend the weekend apart
- 14-07-2007 20:14
Just been so upset about this all day like people are trying to ruin our relationship by gossiping. Dunno how to deal with it.
- 14-07-2007 20:20
really make an obvious effort. ask them if there is anything they want doing, refuse to watch tv unless you cant avoid it. as for spending too much time with his family, try and plan things that involve you both and would happen at the weekend.
it may not even be that they have a real problem with you, it may be them just being protective of thier son and not wanting him to fly the nest so to speak.
if you think all the site people agree with his family, make sure its really obvious to outsiders your helping as well, fetch the water, empty the bins, anything that means walking across the field, do as much as you can, hopefully after a short amount of time, they will back down.
if you spend time at his house normally, be as helpful as you can there, even if it means you dont get to spend too much time with your boyfriend, he should soon see things from your point of view
i know that all sounds a bit underhand but it sounds like your doing above and beyond already...
hope that helped?