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    There's nothing worse than a poem without a title.
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    (Original post by hippygirljess)
    1)
    The new light shimmered from the tower block.
    He caught it and bounced it like a baby,
    Rolled it around his tounge, a delicious sweet,
    Exquisitely delicate.
    He had risen with the blackbirds this morning.
    In the shadowy half light he cried
    And decided that the morning was his, and his alone.
    He put pale rays in his pocket
    Scuttling amongst the crisp packets like a broken crab
    His eyes didn’t see the lies as he broke his own promises,
    Paddling in the dewy grass, brown and rotting at his feet.
    The watery beams kissed his cheeks gently
    And gave him new life,
    And, as he breathed spiked air into him lungs,
    Sunshine filled his stomach with serenity.
    The world lay in slumber, oblivious.
    He smiled, and wrapped the feeling in cellophane
    And sent his fingers soaring to the moon.
    There would be another day.

    2)
    We are a hundred ships sailing towards the dawn
    The sun is rising, it will be a beautiful day
    Breezes whip us round, but we soar over the waves
    Like eagles, wings spread wide. To be alive!
    To be free! 100 hearts flowing together
    Beating together, smoothly choosing their path.
    The light glitters ahead, full of promise and hope
    And our dreams sail on the wispy ocean
    As light as feathers clasped in our hands.
    And we believe in our souls
    that our dreams will become reality,
    And we believe in our minds,
    That we are strong enough for this.
    And we are.
    Belief is all it takes to make our wishes come true.

    3)
    An orange petal is floating down a stream.
    It shimmers in the watery sunlight, reflected rainbows
    Shattering like shards of glass around it.
    The banks are smiling, the reeds simper and sway
    As it drifts away, never looking backwards,
    Heading for the horizon that may not come.
    It holds within it a thimbleful of hope and expectation,
    A skip of the heart, words tumbling from its skin
    Into a waterfall of diamonds, perfect glitter.
    It never sinks, bobbing like a boat on every ripple,
    On every whisper of a wave, rocking it to sleep.

    please tell me what you think!jess xxx

    ok


    1. i really like it. we can't tell who you're writing about, leaving a sense of ammiguity. it reminds me of a child maybe 4/5 but thats my own interpretation

    He had risen with the blackbirds this morning.
    i loved this line- something so simple but so powerfull.

    2. again i love it. the imagary isnt to heavy but nor is there a lack of it. your grammar seems a bit scattered but it works for the poem dont know if you meant it like that but still...

    3. again amazing amazing love. an amazing poem on something so small but so powerfull. the last line again is breth taking- so amazing hun

    keep up the great work you have talent
    x rep for you

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    (Original post by thegreatprocrastinator)
    There's nothing worse than a poem without a title.
    no, not really.

    poems dont need titles
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    i like them, they're very 'motherly' and lots of imagery, which is always good (for me at least).

    i didn't know poems can exist without titles
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    (Original post by thegreatprocrastinator)
    There's nothing worse than a poem without a title.
    You really do have quite a way with words, don't you? Sheesh.

    Like History_Boys said, it's called constructive criticism, not destructive.

    I think they're beautiful. I really enjoyed the read.
    Well Done. [And thanks!!]

    Becca <3.
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    (Original post by History_Boys)
    Do you have any idea what you are talking about?. As i seem to remember Emily Dickinson never used a title in any of her poetry (hence the reason editors had to take the first line of her poetry as the title) and she seems to have done fairly well for herself.
    Aha! 'editors had.' If poetry is neither better nor worse without a title then the editors would not have felt bound to make titles for the poetry in question.
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    (Original post by herbal bug)
    no, not really.

    poems dont need titles

    I never stated that poems needed titles. I only implied that poems are better with them.
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    (Original post by hippygirljess)
    Hiya!


    On the 'debate' about poems having titles, i often find it hard to give my poems titles - these always come after the poem, and i find for me they seem to lack meaning, or almost spoil the surprise of the poem - i like the ambiguity having no title leaves - for example, i could have called 1) Man rises, 2) Leaving school and 3) petal - but i feel this adds NOTHING to the poems - even, takes away from them...
    but i would be very interested to hear more peoples ideas on this, especially thegreatprocrastinator!
    You may feel it adds nothing, because it's your poem not mine. You understood everything you were thinking and every image added because it is your poem not mine. That is why a title in your eyes means nothing. However, to a reader it could mean everything. A title could give importance and add meaning. It allows the reader a first glimpse on the broad topic in discussion before reading the poem itself. It allows the poem to appear professional. It may allow the author to manipulate the reader to their line of thinking, therefore becoming a piece of the poem itself. Once you gave titles to the poems above, they became better in my eyes. Before they appeared random, purposeless and unworthy of attention. How is anyone supposed to remember your poems? A title helps create identification. However, if your only writing for yourself, to yourself and not an audience then a title could mean nothing. Therefore, why post such on TSR?
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    (Original post by Becca <3.)
    You really do have quite a way with words, don't you? Sheesh.


    Becca <3.
    Why thank you. It may be useful later on.
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    (Original post by History_Boys)
    Indeed. I found it even more worrying that he/she is studying English with History at Uni!
    There's nothing to worry about.
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    (Original post by History_Boys)
    Can you stop creating loads of posts in a pathetic attempt to get your count up please.
    I don't care about my 'count.' I'm trying to be polite in replying to everyone idividually.
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    Yes, and i'm batman...
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    (Original post by History_Boys)
    Yes, and i'm batman...
    Really? I never would have guessed.
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    That's so funny. I was literally going to do a post before yours to warn others for incoming sarcasm. Obvious and unoriginal.

    Erm... HB you are a MASSIVE hypocrite!

    Oh no wait, you create posts in a pathetic attempt to get your Rep 'level' up :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by hippygirljess)
    lols deary me.... i was only looking for a very friendly debate!! But thanks to the people who have either agreed or argued their point well. Thegreatprocrastinator, although you could say things in a FAR politer way so that you didn't offend everyone around you (and those things could have been said in a nicer way, for certain), i think we would have to agree to disagree. I think that those 'editors' mentioned earlier in this thread had to find titles for ease of looking a poem up and reference - its the same for many of the greats - they didn't want titles for their poems, it was just something editors found necessary. Also, u said a title 'manipulates' the reader into your line of thinking - this is something i want to particularly avoid - after all, whats the point in writing when all you are doing is putting your own view accross with a stamp across it - when i read a poem, i like it when my imagination can run free around it and i can create my own ideas and even, in a way, link it to my own situations - if a title is going to make the meaning so exact, i don't know if i want a title! I don't know, there are probably both pros and cons, so we'll agree to disagree! But, does anyone else have any ideas other than thegreatprocrasinator?

    xxx

    I am content to 'agree to disagree' and I would also like to be enlightened by other views.
 
 
 
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