The Student Room Group

Made a HUGE mistake

I choose two very prestigious unis as my firm and insurance, purely because I somehow felt I should. And my school pressurised me into applying to them. I mean literally, the head of my sixth form went as far as phoning my mum.

Now, I realise that I don't want to go to either. I worked so hard throughout sixth form and I hated it. I can't spend 3 years somewhere where that level of work would be expected from me again. I'd much rather go to a more relaxed uni where I could actually have a social life and not kill myself working every hour of the day.

I'll be upset if my grades are bad on results day, because I will feel that my work all year was for nothing. But, I'm also half wishing for bad grades so I have an excuse not to go to my firm or insurance. I don't think I'd be brave enough to defy everyone's expectations and ask them to release me.

What should I do?

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Original post by Platopus
I choose two very prestigious unis as my firm and insurance, purely because I somehow felt I should. And my school pressurised me into applying to them. I mean literally, the head of my sixth form went as far as phoning my mum.

Now, I realise that I don't want to go to either. I worked so hard throughout sixth form and I hated it. I can't spend 3 years somewhere where that level of work would be expected from me again. I'd much rather go to a more relaxed uni where I could actually have a social life and not kill myself working every hour of the day.

I'll be upset if my grades are bad on results day, because I will feel that my work all year was for nothing. But, I'm also half wishing for bad grades so I have an excuse not to go to my firm or insurance. I don't think I'd be brave enough to defy everyone's expectations and ask them to release me.

What should I do?


As an adult, you have the right and should make the decision to do what makes you happy. Be brave, it's your life not theirs. Have a peek at the clearing lists as see if there's anywhere you like :smile:
Reply 2
I would have a chat with your parents about all of this and explain how you are feeling, if you are certain that you do not want o go to either, than i would suggest you phone both up on results day and ask to be released into clearing to a uni with you think will better suit your needs.
Reply 3
Original post by claireestelle
As an adult, you have the right and should make the decision to do what makes you happy. Be brave, it's your life not theirs. Have a peek at the clearing lists as see if there's anywhere you like :smile:


Original post by KBSc
I would have a chat with your parents about all of this and explain how you are feeling, if you are certain that you do not want o go to either, than i would suggest you phone both up on results day and ask to be released into clearing to a uni with you think will better suit your needs.


Thank you. I'm just so conflicted because I know what will make me happy... Or at least I think I do. But it's different from what everyone else says will make me happy. And I'm worried because what if in the long term they are right and I'm wrong? After all, I appear to have the minority opinion and less experience to judge by here.
I dun dat when I were younger, and dat were a bad move, YOU are a WIZARD!

But seriously, though, I basically swapped out Durham for Bath to prevent exactly that for happening. If you miss both offers, here's what you do: Go through clearing OR wait until next year.
Your call.
Reply 5
Original post by WhisperingTide
I dun dat when I were younger, and dat were a bad move, YOU are a WIZARD!

But seriously, though, I basically swapped out Durham for Bath to prevent exactly that for happening. If you miss both offers, here's what you do: Go through clearing OR wait until next year.
Your call.

Thank you. Did you regret your decision? Because I'm afraid that I'll decide to go through clearing and then regret it later.
Original post by Platopus
Thank you. I'm just so conflicted because I know what will make me happy... Or at least I think I do. But it's different from what everyone else says will make me happy. And I'm worried because what if in the long term they are right and I'm wrong? After all, I appear to have the minority opinion and less experience to judge by here.


Then you were wrong and you can reapply, you don't get anywhere in life if you don't take a leap of faith once in a while . Your opinion is the one that matters in this decision though :smile: After all they aren't you, happiness is personal so people shouldn't be telling you what will make you happy.
Original post by Platopus
Thank you. I'm just so conflicted because I know what will make me happy... Or at least I think I do. But it's different from what everyone else says will make me happy. And I'm worried because what if in the long term they are right and I'm wrong? After all, I appear to have the minority opinion and less experience to judge by here.


The world works like that unfortunately. They force you to make snap decisions and regret them later. Even my parents are like "I told you so" when I don't follow their advice and end up with a *****ier life because of it.

The good thing is, you've figured out early (before uni) how important a social life is for you and how it sets you up for after uni. Me? I just turned up and studied. And here I am, a year after graduation, sacked from a job and having a degree whose worth will expire in a few years.
Reply 8
Original post by Platopus
Thank you. I'm just so conflicted because I know what will make me happy... Or at least I think I do. But it's different from what everyone else says will make me happy. And I'm worried because what if in the long term they are right and I'm wrong? After all, I appear to have the minority opinion and less experience to judge by here.


In the end, it's your opinion that matters because it is your life. If all else fails you can reapply to another uni after your first year
Original post by Platopus
Thank you. Did you regret your decision? Because I'm afraid that I'll decide to go through clearing and then regret it later.


Not at all. I know somebody who did undergrad at aberystwyth university (A place so bad it doesn't even DESERVE capital letters) and then did his PhD at Imperial College. At the end of the day, if you work hard, you can make something out of yourself wherever you go.

But, people's expectations do not define you, you define your own life. There is no greater measure of success than loving what you do.
Where did you apply to?
(edited 7 years ago)
Reply 10
Original post by claireestelle
Then you were wrong and you can reapply, you don't get anywhere in life if you don't take a leap of faith once in a while . Your opinion is the one that matters in this decision though :smile: After all they aren't you, happiness is personal so people shouldn't be telling you what will make you happy.

Thank you :smile: I guess I'm afraid of annoying people. I really need to talk this through face to face with someone but everyone seems to be biased. Even my careers advisor at school was more concerned about making the school look good by securing prestigious unis for its leavers, than their students' happiness.
Reply 11
Original post by shawn_o1
The world works like that unfortunately. They force you to make snap decisions and regret them later. Even my parents are like "I told you so" when I don't follow their advice and end up with a *****ier life because of it.

The good thing is, you've figured out early (before uni) how important a social life is for you and how it sets you up for after uni. Me? I just turned up and studied. And here I am, a year after graduation, sacked from a job and having a degree whose worth will expire in a few years.

Thank you. I suppose the only way to find out who is right is to take that leap of faith.

Hope everything turns around for you :grouphugs:
Reply 12
Original post by WhisperingTide
Not at all. I know somebody who did undergrad at aberystwyth university (A place so bad it doesn't even DESERVE capital letters) and then did his PhD at Imperial College. At the end of the day, if you work hard, you can make something out of yourself wherever you go.

But, people's expectations do not define you, you define your own life. There is no greater measure of success than loving what you do.
Where did you apply to?

Thank you very much for saying that.

My firm is Cambridge and my insurance is Durham. Even thinking about them makes me want to curl into a ball and hide.
Reply 13
Original post by KBSc
In the end, it's your opinion that matters because it is your life. If all else fails you can reapply to another uni after your first year

That's true, but then I wouldn't get a student loan for the first year at that other uni :frown:
Original post by Platopus
That's true, but then I wouldn't get a student loan for the first year at that other uni :frown:


Yes you would, everyone gets a gift year to use.
Reply 15
Original post by Platopus
That's true, but then I wouldn't get a student loan for the first year at that other uni :frown:


Student finance give you "Degree +1" years amount of support. as long as you figure out that your decision isn't for you in the first year, finance will be able to cover it as there are many people who do this and it is the reason finance have a +1 scheme. hope this helps :smile:
Reply 16
Original post by claireestelle
Yes you would, everyone gets a gift year to use.

Really? Oh my gosh thank you!!!! So, I would still be eligible for 3 years of student loan at another uni, even after using 1 year of student loan at my first one?
Reply 17
Original post by KBSc
Student finance give you "Degree +1" years amount of support. as long as you figure out that your decision isn't for you in the first year, finance will be able to cover it as there are many people who do this and it is the reason finance have a +1 scheme. hope this helps :smile:

I didn't know this before, thank you so much!!!!! You and @claireestelle don't know how much this comforts me! That is one major worry solved for me.
Reply 18
happy to help :smile:
Reply 19
Original post by KBSc
happy to help :smile:

:grouphugs:

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