Made a HUGE mistake

If you decide to transfer out of Cambridge or Durham after Y1 you will have the full choice of any university - not a Clearing rush exercise. And that's what we've been saying about it not affecting SFE etc.

And note it's likely you would be able to transfer to Y2, not have to start from scratch.

Thank you! If I'm honest, my heart is saying that Cambridge/Durham is not the place for me. I hope that your experience of Oxford does improve, but I feel that I would have much the same regrets as you.

Thanks what I meant was, that it wouldn't be possible to transfer immediately to any other uni after only doing a few weeks at Cambridge. I'd have to wait until the following UCAS cycle.

I choose two very prestigious unis as my firm and insurance, purely because I somehow felt I should. And my school pressurised me into applying to them. I mean literally, the head of my sixth form went as far as phoning my mum.

Now, I realise that I don't want to go to either. I worked so hard throughout sixth form and I hated it. I can't spend 3 years somewhere where that level of work would be expected from me again. I'd much rather go to a more relaxed uni where I could actually have a social life and not kill myself working every hour of the day.

I'll be upset if my grades are bad on results day, because I will feel that my work all year was for nothing. But, I'm also half wishing for bad grades so I have an excuse not to go to my firm or insurance. I don't think I'd be brave enough to defy everyone's expectations and ask them to release me.

What should I do?

Hmmmpfff

You really should do what makes you happy as its your life and its not got others to try and live theirs through yours. On the one hand I would say go to a more relaxed uni then, but on the other its importnat the decision is correct and not an easy way out because you are anxious.

Your gardes are already in the pipeline. Tbh I would just defer and spend your gap year deciding what you really want. I was going to drop you a line to learn what your plan was and I thought youd already decided.......

Then I'd say listen to it- you know yourself better than anyone on here. As everyone has said, you do get an extra year of finance so don't worry too much, stress doesn't make it easier to make important decisions Do your research into other universities for now, see what happens on results day and if you want talk to teachers/parents do so, but if you think they'll pressure you too much then just call up the universities yourself, maybe with a supportive friend
Remember, you earned the offer so ultimately its your choice what you do with it, whether it's keeping it or rejecting it! No one else will complete the degree, it'll be on you so don't let someone else push you into something you don't want The regrets aren't worth it
Good luck!!

Yes, that's true - so you would give it a few terms - rather than a few weeks...

By a few terms, I think you mean a whole academic year! Which would be a long time if I was finding it unbearable

If you really do find it unbearable you can simply stop. And then re-start elsewhere at Year 1 the following Sept. Not a problem

That's when the +1 extra year from SFE helps you out.

Just bear in mind that a gap year is very expensive, even if you don't do anything special, since you are losing a year's worth of post-degree earnings. I.e. a year or so after you leave University, you will be tens of thousands of pounds worse off.

Very helpful advice, thank you. I haven't already decided for certain but you're right, I am pretty sure I'm going to take a gap year. Tbh I initially thought I would only take one if I didn't meet my grades, but now it's looking like I may take one even if I do.

You know can have a social life AND go to a prestigious university?

If you really do find it unbearable you can simply stop. And then re-start elsewhere at Year 1 the following Sept. Not a problem

That's when the +1 extra year from SFE helps you out.

We can chat about it. You havent made a mistake yet.

Imo I think you will cope irrespective of which you decide to do.

My concern would be that you cut off an option becayse you get a bit anxious, whereas a year out will give you time to make decisions and earn money. You can then make the decision at your own pace and when you look back on it you will know it was your decision, which makes it much easier with whatever follows. no regrets.

Dont worry about others expectations, the only ones that really matter are yours about yourself. The reason i think a gap year is more impprtant than ever is because its a £50,000 decision, which you wont get to repeat, so its better to take a little time choosing what you believe is the best place for you.

I know what i would do, but there are still other unis where you cna have a great time and career and which might give you an overall experience that suits you better.

Except they still have incurred the debt for that year.

Except they still have incurred the debt for that year.

Thank you Yes, absolutely it's an important decision to get right. While student finance will give me an extra year of fees if I decide to switch after year 1, I'd rather not have that extra 9K of debt to pay off!

I do think you may be correct about the gap year giving me some thinking space. I feel as though I was rushed into choosing unis at a time when I was very busy with work and didn't think carefully enough. Also, I applied so long ago and since then have had time to reassess my priorities.

Which they only start to repay when earnings are enough to do so.

Fundamentally, the money side should not be the deciding factor for this decision.

Perhaps some people can. Howevever, I am not blessed with that kind of natural intelligence. For me personally to get top grades, I have to work ridiculously hard and have no social life. I would rather not work ridiculously hard and get lower grades. So, I'd prefer to go to a less prestigious uni where there are expectations of students achieving slightly lower grades.