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    right I have come across a problem which I don't really know how to solve. I think that you fantastic late nighters may be able to help! My sister is 14 and chats online a lot. (not in chat rooms, on msn) Myself and my mum are ok about this, the computer is in a public place and she doesn't go online for long. I began to get suspicious when I saw her giving out her mobile number. Due to my suspicions I checked her phone. Basically she is having phone sex with a guy she doesn't know, she is 14 and something makes me believe (from the messages I read) that he is much older. I don't know what to do about this or how to bring it up. Any ideas? And was it wrong to snoop?
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    Dodgy.

    I'd be inclined to say fair enough, leave her if a/ she was a few years older and b/ it was kept to the chatrooms, not by swapping numbers.

    But a and b obviously don't apply.


    I'd say keep a careful eye on her; make sure your mum knows where she's going, etc. But don't confront her right now, as you really shouldn't have looked at her phone (though I understand the reasons why), so she'll lose trust in you. This may make her more defiant and more likely to do something stupid and put herself in a situation she can't handle.
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    well I sent a text message to the offending number pretending to be someone else. no repy yet but Im going to go about this quietly I think. Weird thing is she is really quiet and shy. can't speak to boys normally. And the kind of stuff that is coming out in these text messages....its really really disturbing. I feel sick to my stomach reading it.
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    Maybe it's an 'outlet', if you will. Not that you want to think of your sister like that.

    I'd be inclined to say harmless fun as nothing's actually happening. But if the other one's a lot older, then maybe not. Sorry, I just don't know.
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    (Original post by Hayley...)
    I'd be inclined to say harmless fun as nothing's actually happening.
    The thing is she doesn't know that it's "harmless fun", for all she knows it could be some 40 year old paedophile asking to meet up. I think you should speak to her but use a bit of tact.
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    (Original post by sublime_envy)
    right I have come across a problem which I don't really know how to solve. I think that you fantastic late nighters may be able to help! My sister is 14 and chats online a lot. (not in chat rooms, on msn) Myself and my mum are ok about this, the computer is in a public place and she doesn't go online for long. I began to get suspicious when I saw her giving out her mobile number. Due to my suspicions I checked her phone. Basically she is having phone sex with a guy she doesn't know, she is 14 and something makes me believe (from the messages I read) that he is much older. I don't know what to do about this or how to bring it up. Any ideas? And was it wrong to snoop?
    phone sex is pretty harmless right?
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    (Original post by sublime_envy)
    right I have come across a problem which I don't really know how to solve. I think that you fantastic late nighters may be able to help! My sister is 14 and chats online a lot. (not in chat rooms, on msn) Myself and my mum are ok about this, the computer is in a public place and she doesn't go online for long. I began to get suspicious when I saw her giving out her mobile number. Due to my suspicions I checked her phone. Basically she is having phone sex with a guy she doesn't know, she is 14 and something makes me believe (from the messages I read) that he is much older. I don't know what to do about this or how to bring it up. Any ideas? And was it wrong to snoop?
    Get a news article about a similar situation and make it mysteriously appear in her room.
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    (Original post by sublime_envy)
    right I have come across a problem which I don't really know how to solve. I think that you fantastic late nighters may be able to help! My sister is 14 and chats online a lot. (not in chat rooms, on msn) Myself and my mum are ok about this, the computer is in a public place and she doesn't go online for long. I began to get suspicious when I saw her giving out her mobile number. Due to my suspicions I checked her phone. Basically she is having phone sex with a guy she doesn't know, she is 14 and something makes me believe (from the messages I read) that he is much older. I don't know what to do about this or how to bring it up. Any ideas? And was it wrong to snoop?
    Call the police, that should teach her (and him ) a lesson.
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    I know its hard, but youll just have to leave it.

    Let people make their own mistakes, obviously you dont want the mistake to be meeting up with a 50 year old paedo, but shell eventually realise what shes doing is stupid.

    One way of doing this is, say you are having like a family gathering or something, even better with visiting relatives, bring up the subject of people meeting people over the internet and about the whole 'older men pretending to be young and coaxing young girls' thing..make sure you dont give away the fact that you know shes been txting him or whatever, and basically just lay into how sad/geeky/sick it is, she will soon stop txting him
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    (Original post by TheWolf)
    phone sex is pretty harmless right?
    As long as you wear rubber gloves

    I'd say text sex and phone sex are harmless as long as both people are 100% sure of who they are talking to
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    Forget what everyone says here, you have to do something about this and quickly. It may seem hard to confront your sister and will embarass her, but you should seriously think about contacting the police. You may or may not realise but internet grooming is a sexual offence.

    Your sister may think she is a rational thinking adult at 14 but the truth is that she is still a vulnerable child. Any paedophile will know this and will be very good at taking advantage of it.

    Trust me, leaving this is the worst thing you can do. Imagine how you will feel if your sister sneaks out one night to meet this man who turns out to be a paedophile and gets raped, effectively runing her life? When you could have stopped it?

    Of course that may not happen and all that may result is some harmless phone sex, but is it really worth the risk?
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    She will probably be pissed as hell, but you need to tell your parents what you found out. Or you could just accidentally flush her phone.
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    what disturbed me the most is he goes into graphic detail with her and then he says that he can't wait to meet up with her and give her her first kiss. I texted him from my phone pretending to be someone else who just got a number wrong. He seems to be sticking to his age of 17 but there is no way my sister could know this guy and why is she giving out her mobile number online?!?! I think I may broach this subject to my mum tonight, though Im not sure how to do it. Is there such a thing as statutory rape in this country?
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    (Original post by sublime_envy)
    what disturbed me the most is he goes into graphic detail with her and then he says that he can't wait to meet up with her and give her her first kiss. I texted him from my phone pretending to be someone else who just got a number wrong. He seems to be sticking to his age of 17 but there is no way my sister could know this guy and why is she giving out her mobile number online?!?! I think I may broach this subject to my mum tonight, though Im not sure how to do it. Is there such a thing as statutory rape in this country?
    I would talk to your sister before you talk to your mum. She will probably be embarrassed more than anything, but just do what you can to warn her off. If it still doesn't work, then it might be a good time to tell your parents and then go from there.... Your sister will respect you more if you confront her before your parents.
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    I'd say leave her but also have a talk to her about the dangers of meeting people over the internet etc.
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    (Original post by who_me)
    I would talk to your sister before you talk to your mum. She will probably be embarrassed more than anything, but just do what you can to warn her off. If it still doesn't work, then it might be a good time to tell your parents and then go from there.... Your sister will respect you more if you confront her before your parents.
    yes but the problem with that is me & my sister are really close and she would lose all trust in me.
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    (Original post by sublime_envy)
    yes but the problem with that is me & my sister are really close and she would lose all trust in me.
    But if you tell your mother then your sister still find out it was you in the first place... and at least if you talk to her and she agrees to stop all communication with the guy in question then your mother will never have to know...
    I imagine if my mum found out that my younger sister (she's 14) was texting a guy from the net she would completely go mad, call the police and stop my sister from ever using the internet again.
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    (Original post by who_me)
    But if you tell your mother then your sister still find out it was you in the first place... and at least if you talk to her and she agrees to stop all communication with the guy in question then your mother will never have to know...
    I imagine if my mum found out that my younger sister (she's 14) was texting a guy from the net she would completely go mad, call the police and stop my sister from ever using the internet again.
    Your sister probably thinks she knows what she's doing, and depending on what type of person she is you have to deal with it differently.

    If it was my sister I'd go up to her and say look i'm sorry i picked up your fone and read a text message, and it's really upset me but i'm glad i did. How did you meet this guy? People aren't always who they say they are you know. I'm worried for you. Say you can get angry and mad at me, but i'm only doing this cos i love you and care about you, you're my little sister.

    try and make her see sense. and then say that she should stop texting and emailing him and chatting to him on msn. say that you don't want to, but if she doesn't you'll go to ur mum

    EDIT: I don't actually have a sister
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    my mum is more sly than that lol she would say she was using her phone to do a text message and came across the messages by accident. I know my name wouldn't come into it. If I did confront my sister she would go mental and not speak to me for a long long time. She likes to bear grudges.
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    Why not call the number from another line and see who picks up and judge from there how old/dodgy he is - you can tell a lot from a voice!!
 
 
 
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